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Post #341662

Author
HeKS
Parent topic
Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Edit Suggestions
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/341662/action/topic#341662
Date created
9-Jan-2009, 6:08 PM

Ok. Here are my suggestions for the dialog. I've removed most of the lame, cheesy and poorly delivered lines, along with references to stuff that hasn't happened in our cut.

Most stuff will just have strikeout, but if it's strikeout, bold and italics it means either that I REALLY think it should come out, or, in some cases, HAS to come out.

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INDY 4 - FBI INTERROGATION SCENE DIALOG

 

INDY: I HAD NO REASON TO BELIEVE THAT MAC WAS A SPY.

INDY: HE WAS MI6 WHEN I WAS IN OSS.

INDY: WE DID 20, 30 MISSIONS TOGETHER IN EUROPE AND THE PACIFIC.

FBI 1: Don't wave your war record in our face, Colonel Jones.

FBI 1: We all served.

INDY: No kidding? What side were you on?

FBI 2: I don't think you recognize the gravity of your situation.

FBI 2: You aided and abetted KGB agents

FBI 2: who broke into a top-secret military installation

FBI 2: in the middle of the United States of America, my country.

INDY: What was in the steel box they took?

FBI 1: You tell us. You've seen it before.

INDY: Oh. You mean that Air Force fiasco in '47.

INDY: I was tossed into a bus with blacked-out windows

INDY: and 20 people I wasn't allowed to speak to.

INDY: Hauled out in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere

INDY: on some urgent recovery project and shown what?

INDY: Pieces of wreckage

INDY: and an intensely magnetic shroud covering mutilated remains? (We hid what was in the box/shroud through earlier edits and in this scene he asks what was in it twice! So I don't think he should know about the mutilated remains. It will make his surprise in the tent later seem more reasonable)

INDY: None of us was ever given the full picture.

INDY: And we were threatened with treason if we ever talked about it.

INDY: So, you tell me, what was in the box?

ROSS: Indy, thank God.

ROSS: Don't you know it's dangerous to climb into a refrigerator?

ROSS: Those things can be deathtraps!

INDY: Good to see you, too, Bob. (Bob just says, "thank God," not "good to see you")

ROSS: Relax, boys. I can vouch for Dr. Jones.

INDY: What the hell is going on?

INDY: KGB on American soil? Who is that woman?

FBI 1: Describe her.

INDY: Tall, thin, mid-30s,

INDY: carried a sword of some kind, a rapier, I think.

INDY: Yeah, that's her.

FBI 2: You sure she's here?

INDY: Here and gone. Who is she?

ROSS: Irina Spalko, she was Stalin's fair-haired girl.

ROSS: His favorite scientist, if you can call psychic research science.

FBI 2: General Ross...

ROSS: She's leading teams from the Kremlin all over the world.

ROSS: Scooping up artifacts

ROSS: she thinks might have paranormal military applications.

FBI 2: General Ross!

ROSS: Back off, Paul.

ROSS: Not everyone in the Army's a Commie and certainly not Indy.

INDY: What exactly am I being accused of, besides surviving a nuclear blast? (He stupidly pronounces it "nucular", so this has to go)

FBI 2: Nothing yet.

FBI 2: But frankly your association with George McHale

FBI 2: makes all your activities suspicious, including those during the war.

ROSS: Are you nuts?

ROSS: Do you have any idea how many medals this son of a bitch won?

FBI 2: A great many, I'm sure.

FBI 2: But does he deserve them? (I find these lines really lame and they were poorly delivered. I think Ross' comment flows fine into the following lines)

FBI 1: Dr. Jones, let's just say for now that you are of interest to the Bureau.

FBI 2: Of great interest.

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Now, getting this to work visually is a whole other thing, because in a few cases it involves more than just cutting early. I'll be working on this problem next.

Ryan