Life Day is Coming

Life Day, the cheerily secular high holiday of the Wookiee culture, is nearly upon us. You know what that means--Bea Arthur, cordon and knock searches, and presents! To build on this theme, how do you deal when you get things you don't like?

I'm am known by nearly all to be a big fan of Star Wars, comic books, and cartoons. The "fatal triangle" is what they called it when I got demoted to the least cool table at the high school cafeteria. But now I am a grown-up with a well-paying (not really) job, easy access to Amazon, and internet forums, so I can indulge my less respectable habits in private. Most of the time.

Christmas is that time when my less respectable habits become slightly more public. Well-meaning relatives think to themselves, "What does Scruffy like? He likes comics, cartoons, and Star Wars!" And I have to hand it to them, they really nailed the whole triangle this time. And so did LucasFilm marketing, those curs. I imagine a scene something like this played out:

Scruffy's mother hadn't seen her son in ages, but she wanted to make this Christmas something special. She had repeatedly asked Scruffy what he'd like Santa to bring this year, but Scruffy was always noncommittal. "I really have everything I need," he said. Or, "An Amazon gift card will do nicely, or order something off the Amazon wish list." But Scruffy's Amazon wish list was huge, with hundreds of obscure comic books, language texts, CDs, and DVDs of canceled TV shows. If only fate would deliver something into her hands, Scruffy's mom would wrap it up, put it in a box, wrap the box, put the box in another box filled with styrofoam packing peanuts, cover the whole thing in tape, and mail it off right now.

That's when fate ... or the Force ... delivered. It delivered a DVD of the animated Clone Wars movie, packaged with a hefty-looking digest-sized comic. Scruffy would love this! Scruffy's mom promptly purchased the DVD, wrapped it up, put it in a box, and ... well, you remember the rest.

Fast forward ten or eleven days. Scruffy picks up a package, and finds Christmas presents in it. Christmas isn't for weeks yet, but no sense in letting gaily-wrapped boxes take up space when he could just unwrap them and enjoy the contents. Deferred gratification isn't worth giving up storage space for. He tears the paper away from the DVD-sized parcel, not knowing what to expect, and encounters what he least expected: the distorted faces of CGI Yoda, Hayden, and Ewan glowering at him next to a dual-pistol wielding clonetrooper. Oh, the humanity!

The question now is, what do I do with this accursed thing? I briefly--VERY BRIEFLY--considered opening it, watching the movie, and reading the pack-in comic. Then I realized that that would seriously damage my OOT-purist cred. Now I'm considering just giving it away, or even regifting it. I'm not sure who would want it, so right now my plan is to leave it in a public place and hope someone takes it. I would prefer to return it to the Target of Doom from whence it came, denying LucasFilm the small bit of profit they nefariously got from my mother, but that's not feasible right now. Any suggestions?

Alternate topic: Has your public confession of love for Star Wars ever led to particularly unwanted gifts?

Hah, that was very fun to read. Witty and well-written.

Hmm, if I were you I'd keep it and give it a viewing. Star Wars can remain pure in that instance. At the very least, there are worse, tackier gifts that you could have recieved.

Well i would lile a life day for the oot, you know a proper restoration.  But since star wars death day came in 1996 when Lucas cut up the original negatives it is highly doubtful. 

You should be thankful it is the thought that counts, and also Thankful it was not a copy of more american graffiti, howard the duck or the holiday special on dvd, or Indiana Jones IV.  There are more bad Lucas projects than clone wars.  I'll make the assumption you have the special editions and the prequels on dvd, what could be worse than that?

The worst bunch of star wars dvds i ever bought were the gout, which i call the official Lucasfilm bootleg version since the quality is nigh unwatchable and horrendous.

when IS life day?

I got a Jar Jar shirt for Christmas one year. Yeah, the one where he has his hands at the sides of his ears and it sticking his tongue out. When I saw that shirt a little piece of me died inside... of course I was polite about it and make exclaimations like ,"Oh wow! Jar Jar! Awesome! Thanks, you know how much I love Star Wars. This is really cool, I can't wait to wear it." It hung in my closet, tag unremoved for quite a while before I came across a kid who really liked episode one that was pretty close to my size and, "Hey, you know what, I think I have something you might like..."

Hmm, as for what you should do with it, you said you cannot return it to Target? I take it because you do not have the receipt. No doubt you have a Wal-Mart nearby, they take things back without a receipt as long as it is unopened. Even if you have something against Wal-Mart and refuse to shop there as somepeople do, this might be the way to go. Without a receipt they may only give credit, but it will be credit for the full price of the DVD, which you can just turn around and use toward something you like, if you lucky, you could probably manage to do this without giving one penny to the evil empire (if you are one of those folks).

so, I take it there is no specific day to count as LIFE DAY?

I have always considered Christmas to be Life Day. Obviously they couldn't call it Christmas on the Holiday Special, since Star Wars takes place in another galaxy. But the Holiday Special was obviously aiming for a Christmas like holiday.

Oops, it originally aired before Thanksgiving. Since it originally aired on Nov. 17, I'd say that is the best candidate for Life Day. Darn, we missed it!