Rhikter said:... Is there something wrong with it as is?
Personally, I don't think he sounds excited enough. Its just a short statement, then its done. How professional can you get, instead of being a rag-tag group of Rebels. Same with "Imperial troops have entered the base. Imperial troops have--" I vote for different versions, whether from an alternate film mix, the radio drama, or a cameo by one of us. ;-)