From what I read so far, it's a damn good essay. Unfortunately, there's a high chance you'll have lost them at the end of the first paragraph. If not there, then part way through the second paragraph. Most people just don't know what a "properly restored" movie is, so they'll probably ding you on that. I know it's explained a little later on in the paper, but it's probably still pretty esoteric to anyone that's not in the movie making field. Other than that, it looks great.