I think it shows the end of Luke's personal journey nicely
and would detract from the ghosts scene where Leia comes to pull Luke back into group
My personal choices for improvements off the top of my head are
Smooth out the stop motion animation on Tauntauns and to a lesser extent AT-AT's & AT-ST's
Could something be done to make Boba Fett's following Han from the Star Destroyer's garbage a bit more realistic, it's hard to buy that Han wouldn't notice a tail that close. maybe Slave I could shoot a homing beacon onto the Falcon's hull and than follow at a reasonable distance.
The Emporer's holo conversation needs re-working to remove any confirmation that Luke is Vader's son - Just for the sake of watching them in released order
Vader's leaving Cloud City - all bad - doesn't sound like JE Jones (although I'm sure I read it is)
Fett's flirting in Jabba's Palace has to go - although I prefer the new musical number
Jawa's eyes to match ANH
Change Ewoks to Wookies - Pipe dream I know but improvements must be made please
All creaures throughout both ESB & ROTJ need Adywan's Cantina treatment
A couple of badly delivered lines "Our first catch of the day" escape from Hoth
and Jedi's Death Star battle"Copy Gold Leader" when Lando order's split and head back to the surface make me cringe
just a timing trim may fix these
that's all for now