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Prequelize the OT — Page 2

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[Leia is reclining on a computer animated bed that is floating in her prison cell. Her white robe is torn across her midriff. She has a strange look on her face and is playing with her hair. Luke enters Leia's prison cell, and Leia looks up - overly startled - and winces.]

Leia: Jangotroopers tend to be exactly two meters tall - I mean, they ARE clones, after all. You seem to be a few centimeters shorter than that - are you really a Jangotrooper?

Luke: What are you talking about, m'lady? Oh! Are you referring to my Jangotrooper armor? I can see why it would be confusing. Fear not, m'lady! [Luke removes his helmet and shakes loose his long curly shoulder-length tresses] See? No clone under this white armor! My name is Luke Skywalker, and I came to the Death Star with several other freedom fighters in order to rescue you.
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Super Mario Bros. - The Wicked Star Story
"Ah, the proverbial sad sack with a wasted wish."
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that would be so true.... nightmarish!! Keep 'em comin'!

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hehe, jangotroopers! From this moment on I will never use the word stormtrooper again in context of the PT or the 2004 revisions.

"Every time Warb sighs, an angel falls into a vat of mapel syrup." - Gaffer Tape

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Leia: I love you.
Han: I know. I've wished for this ever since the day I met you. I wish I could just wish away my feelings. But which wish is which? The witch ol' wish or the wicked wish?
Boba Fett: I take it back. You can kill him.
I am fluent in over six million forms of procrastination.
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I posted this at the Superman board where somebody has been purporting that Vader clearly had the upper hand when he defeated Obi-Wan on the Death Star. It deserves to be reposted here, in this thread.
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Hey, maybe Lucas can insert some overly-expository dialog into the next edition to clear this up.

Vader: "Your powers are weak, old man. Clearly your skills have diminished since the time when we dueled on the volcanic planet of Mustafar and I made the mistake of letting you get the high ground when I otherwise showed the superior saber technique."

Obi-Wan: "Only in your mind, my very mechanical apprentice. You can't win, young Padawan, who once was called Anakin but now clearly has no good left and therefore can simply be called Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, as I have learned the ability to defy oblivion, as was once accomplished by a Shaman of the Whills. It is a state acquired through compassion, not greed. To commune with the force and become one with it while retaining my consciousness was taught to me by Qui-Gon since I last saw you. You will see."

Vader: "You should not have come back. My Sith training has allowed me to enhance my point of view that all Jedi are evil. By channeling the dark side through my mechanical appendages, I can cut you down faster than you can defend your position. I can tell by your slow moves that a man of your age needs the dark side to remain quick. Just like Dooku, I mean Tyrannus, proved to us on the bridge of the Invisible Hand back when we rescued Palpatine from the clutches of the cyborg General Grievous. Clearly the dark side gave him the upper hand on the Invisible Hand -- hey I made a funny. And if you will allow me to give a syllogism, Dooku, I mean Tyrannus at his most powerful, was able to render you unconscious; I was able to kill Dooku; ergo I will be able to kill you easily because the dark side has made me stronger while your fighting skills have deteriorated in your solitude.

Obi-Wan: You have been watching Young Indiana Jones, now available on DVD in stores everywhere and from your favorite online retailer from Lucasfilm, Ltd. haven't you?

Vader: "You underestimate my pow-errrrr."

Lucas: "Cut. Faster. More intense!!!"

Vader: "Youunderestimatemypowerrrrr!"

That kind of fantastic Lucas dialog will clear this up once and for all.
I am fluent in over six million forms of procrastination.
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Obi-Wan: You have been watching Young Indiana Jones, now available on DVD in stores everywhere and from your favorite online retailer from Lucasfilm, Ltd. haven't you?


Holy crap! That's comedy!
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This is not a scene from the OT, but I imagine it as a deleted scene from Ep. III:

Anakin and Padme are alone in their secret downtown Coruscant apartment. The war has given both much stress, and the distance has strained their relationship. Anakin is sitting in the living room, watching the latest news clip of his latest heroic action. Padme stomps in, obviously distressed.

Padme: "Are you going to watch that stupid holographic box all day? I told you we're out of food... When are you going to the store?"

Anakin: "As soon as this news clip is over, my precious drop of water."

Padme: (Folding her arms.) "That's what you said after the last clip!"

Anakin: (A bit annoyed that he cannot hear the announcer over her voice.) "Well, I meant this one, my love."

Padme stomps towards the hologram box, yanks a few power cords, and says, "Guess what? News clip is over, I'm pregnant, and we're hungry... Guess who's getting us something to eat?"

Anakin: Anakin sighs, and begins to smirk in a seductive way. "Sugar comet, it's okay. Let me hold you like I did on the lakes of Naboo-"

Padme: "Don't you "Sugar comet" me, Ani. I'm starving... Get me something... Now!"

Anakin: "But blueberry!"

Padme: "Anakin."

Anakin: "Yes, my love?"

Padme: "Shut up and get me some chocolate."

Anakin: "Yes, dear..."