Han Decides to Leave:
Han: Good bye, m’lady. I expect I shall never see you again. (*walks away*).
Leia: Han Solo? Are you really going to leave? I cannot believe you would do that. It breaks my heart.
Han: I do not wish to sound crass, m’lady, but in my point of view, it would be very dangerous for me and my furry companion Chewbacca to remain here much longer. When we were on Ord Mantell, in the Outer Rim territories which has spice miners, I came into contact with a bounty hunter.
Leia: What?
Han: When I say bounty hunter, I mean a mercenary that tracks people down and either captures them or kills them…for a large sum. I’m sorry for the confusion, m’lady. The presence of the bounty hunter and the thought that he represents the looming threat of Jabba the Hutt causes me to have serious misgivings about staying with the Rebel Trade Alliance to which I have contributed over the last several time units.
Leia: We totally need you here, Han Solo.
Han: When you say “we,” are you merely referring to the Rebel Trade Alliance in which I have taken part, or are you referring to you yourself and only you? Please tell me; I’d die to know.
Leia: I don’t know what you’re talking about. And stop looking at me like that. It makes me feel uncomfortable.
Han: My heart is beating and my lips are parted, waiting for a sign, a kiss, something to show that you care. You are in my very soul…tormenting me. I shall do anything that you ask. Anything…
Leia: Then shut up! And stay here on Hoth.
Han: I’m sorry, m’lady. I will do whatever you say.
Leia: Anyway, I’d rather kiss a Wookie.
Han: I wish that I could just wish away my feelings! But I can’t! (*cries*)
Luke meets Yoda:
Luke: I don’t know. I feel like…
Yoda: Feel like what!?
(*Luke turns around and is confronted by a small CG creature holding a lightsaber*).
Yoda: Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! (*bounces forward and swings at Luke*)
The asteroid scene:
Han: Oh, no! Those are asteroids! Blast! I hate flying! I’ll go in anyway.
C3PO: But sir! This was already done in one of the prequels!
Han: Shut him up or shut him down or turn him off.
(*approaches the asteroids*)
C3PO: This is suicide!
Leia: You don’t have to do this to impress me.
Han: Really?
(*Flies out of the asteroid field*)
The confrontation:
Vader: The Force is with you, boy. But you are not a Jedi yet. Nor shall you ever be. My midichlorian count is higher than yours and I will dominate.
Luke: You’ll find I’m full of surprises.
Vader: I have more surprises. I’ll tell you in the next scene in case you haven’t seen the prequels yet.
Luke: I believe you are wrong.
Vader: Yes, but I believe you to be wrong.
Luke: OK. In my point of view, you are wrong.
Vader: There is no such thing as point of view. You shall see things my way.
Luke: Only a Sith lord like yourself deals in absolutes. That being said, you are pure evil and you must die.
Vader: Let this contest be decided by our skill with a lightsaber, then.
Luke: You turn yours on first.
Vader: No, you turn yours on first, boy.
Luke: All right, then. We shall stand back to back and take ten paces, at which point we shall turn around, simultaneously ignite our sabers, and begin the duel.
Vader: I do not think this is a good idea.
(*scene drags on for five minutes*)