I’m writing in an effort to establish which version of Star Wars you are showing for your 40th anniversary celebration. In case you are not aware there are different versions of the film each of which we nerds complain about at various levels. Naturally the original unaltered version as shown in 1977 is the preferred version while each subsequent version released thereafter is bemoaned upon more and more resulting in emails such as this. If said emails fail to result in our desired outcome an online petition will be created and signed by every nerd at my disposal. The last time we did this it resulted in an unsatisfactory bonus disc release suitable only for the knob operated television set my father used to watch the Honeymooners on. But I digress.
So getting back to my initial reason for contacting you, please know that only the original version of Star Wars is accepted by true Star Wars fans. Anyone that accepts poorly rendered Jabba the Hutts and odd muppet-like musical numbers is clearly not a fan but rather a sheep crawling wherever George Lucas points his Shepard’s stick.
Thank you for your time,
JediRandy