18) Cut quickly to Anakin jumping at Dooku
This worked flawlessly! The pacing is definitely improved.
Palpatine's line follows too closely on Anakin's; it feels rushed in comparison to Palpatine's tone.
28) Cut to a short shot of Anakin reacting.
This worked flawlessly! The pacing is definitely improved.
19) Cut to the closeup of Anakin and Dooku with dooku's line about hate and anger a little bit early just to push it that much further
I didn't even notice the edit was there, but, BOOM!, Dooku's words were sounding more believable than I've heard them before!
I also really liked how you were able to extend Anakin holding the blades ignited longer by cutting in the shot and line of Palpatine. That was beautiful, though it might seem like a flub in the wider shot where Palpatine's mouth isn't moving. Small price to pay for the improvement, I say.
Your treatment of Palpatine's justification to Anakin is a vast improvement focusing on the revenge aspect and not over-explaining why when we all know what Dooku did to Anakin in Episode II.
I feel that a handful of things didn't work quite as well:
The sequence plays too quickly now. It would definitely work if it had been shot as one fluid set of motions, but it's apparent that Anakin brings the blades to Dooku's neck in a thoughtful way instead of as a flowing finishing move. Maybe you could keep the sped up shots but allow for more of a pause as Anakin considers the man kneeling in front of him, although this does make it a colder, more calculated decision than one made in the heat of a thoughtless moment.
27) As anakin explains he shouldn't have killed dooku, I cut to Palpatine getting out of the chair with Palpatine saying "It is only natural," as if to combat what anakin had to say about the Jedi way.
I didn't even notice the edit was there, but, BOOM!, Dooku's words were sounding more believable than I've heard them before!
I also really liked how you were able to extend Anakin holding the blades ignited longer by cutting in the shot and line of Palpatine. That was beautiful, though it might seem like a flub in the wider shot where Palpatine's mouth isn't moving. Small price to pay for the improvement, I say.
Your treatment of Palpatine's justification to Anakin is a vast improvement focusing on the revenge aspect and not over-explaining why when we all know what Dooku did to Anakin in Episode II.
I feel that a handful of things didn't work quite as well:
17) I remove a little bit of Anakin sitting around looking at the Obi-Wan and then to Dooku..
For someone seeing the scene for the first time, I think they would probably not know what they had just seen and how it really relates to the surrounding shots, because it goes by so quickly.
21) I speed up the shot of Anakin cutting off Dooku's hands. 22) Cut to Anakin with Dooku's blade 23) cut to a slightly sped up shot of Anakin placing the blades at Dooku's neck
For someone seeing the scene for the first time, I think they would probably not know what they had just seen and how it really relates to the surrounding shots, because it goes by so quickly.
21) I speed up the shot of Anakin cutting off Dooku's hands. 22) Cut to Anakin with Dooku's blade 23) cut to a slightly sped up shot of Anakin placing the blades at Dooku's neck
The sequence plays too quickly now. It would definitely work if it had been shot as one fluid set of motions, but it's apparent that Anakin brings the blades to Dooku's neck in a thoughtful way instead of as a flowing finishing move. Maybe you could keep the sped up shots but allow for more of a pause as Anakin considers the man kneeling in front of him, although this does make it a colder, more calculated decision than one made in the heat of a thoughtless moment.
27) As anakin explains he shouldn't have killed dooku, I cut to Palpatine getting out of the chair with Palpatine saying "It is only natural," as if to combat what anakin had to say about the Jedi way.
Palpatine's line follows too closely on Anakin's; it feels rushed in comparison to Palpatine's tone.
28) Cut to a short shot of Anakin reacting.
This didn't feel quite right to me. Maybe just a little more time for the shot would help, or a different part of the shot where Anakin isn't moving as much. Also, Anakin's eyeline doesn't match from this shot to the next; that may be part of it.
Overall, I am still trying for an edit that loses some of the immature dialogue and characterization that Lucas has given us to work with. You've definitely given me some edit choices to consider. Thanks, GM!
P.S. Just watched most of the duel again, and I love the placement of "You wanted revenge"; it fits so perfectly with that shot!