Some nitpicks:
1.Cut the part where Anikan ignites his saber and attempts to run and jump from the structure. Make it so that he swings back on to the structure and before he can even attempt to run and jump off it he plummets down the lava fall.
2. Not really a nit pick but when you pull away from the falls after Anikan has fallen down the falls you can see the structure still floating down the lava river in the background. This can be removed with Adobe After Effects.
3. After you have the shot that pulls away from the lava fall I would cut Obi-Wan's reaction shots and go straight to volcanoe erupting shot and then to Obi-Wan approaching the ship. The reason for this is because you already have two reaction shots from Obi-Wan before you have the pull out shot and don't really need two more. If you don't want to remove these shots at least get rid of or replace the last shot of Obi-Wan where he is holding his ignited lightsaber right before the volcanoe shot. It just doesn't flow naturally with the other reaction shots, because they are close up facial shots and that is a full body shot. I understand the emotion that is supposed to be portrayed by Obi-Wan's body stance, but it feels awkward among the other reaction shots.
And about not showing Anikan surviving his fall over the lava fall, I like this and it would keep Anikan's fate unkown.