Something that would help to give the Polis Massa scene more substance is to take the part where the droid comes out and says " We are losing her. We don't know why, but she has lost the will to live." Put it at the begging of the Polis Massa scene , and dub over the droids lines with something like this " Do to trauma we have lost her. " Then have the part of Obi-Wan walikng to the right of the screen looking sad, and then show the shot of Padme lying on the table, and then show Yoda looking at her in sadness. Then wipe to the next scene.