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A Heart-Warming Message from the RIAA

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Alright, you college student pirate assholes, LISTEN UP. Cary Sherman and Mitch Bainwol, the president and CEO of the RIAA, respectively, have a message for you in an op/ed on Inside Higher Ed. Suing all of you is "necessary" because what you're doing is costing "billions of dollars in lost revenue, millions of dollars in lost taxes, thousands of lost jobs." That's right, people are losing their JOBS. Thousands of them. I'm not sure who or what they did, but this is probably because now they're unemployed, thanks to you.

You stole two thirds of your music. You told the NPD you did. So now, "finding a record store still in business anywhere near a campus is a difficult assignment at best." It's not because of Best Buy and Wal-Mart undercutting them with lower prices or anything, it's because those super low prices weren't low enough for your thieving asses.

And these damn universities are so uncooperative. The RIAA is being super helpful and showing them all kinds of ways block P2P entirely to stop you bastards in your tracks, since "the overwhelming, if not sole, use of these applications on campus is to illegally download and distribute copyrighted works." It's not like anyone actually uses that BitTorrent store, after all.

It's a damn shame schools aren't doing more, because they have a "moral responsibility, as educators, as organizations transmitting values" to teach you jackasses not to steal music. Which is why "when schools increasingly provide their students with amenities like cable TV, there is simply no reason not to offer them cheap or free legal access to the music they crave." Yeah, schools should pay for the licenses for those services. The RIAA deserves that money, so they get paid even if you resort to stealing music encoded at a higher bit rate with no DRM. Greedy assholes.

Artists' mansions are shrinking. Their children are only able to afford a Wii and a 360, but not a PS3. Think about that the next time you download Nelly's new album, or even some up-and-coming band's new record which you tell all your friends about so they go to their shows and stuff. You just stole a CD from them.

God, why do you keep complaining about the RIAA? They're just trying to "educate these particular students about the importance of music... and the importance of respecting and valuing music as intellectual property." You don't have to be a pirate for life. The RIAA can help. It just needs a small settlement to get you started. – Matt Buchanan
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Until the RIAA demonstrably proves to me that they are trying to increasing my sales as an independent artist, I will never buy into their rhetoric. The recording industry has done dick for my music. By killing Napster and the file-sharing community, they have decimated one of the best chances I have had to increase underground interest in my music. Corporate radio sure as hell isn't an outlet for discovering talent anymore, and Karaoke and country line dancing have killed live music dead in the small clubs and bars.

I hate the RIAA (and to a lesser extent the MPAA) because of their unwillingness to embrace new technologies and develop a proper way to monetize them. To the RIAA: You are killing my livelihood.

To the MPAA: Your FBI logos in front of my store-bought DVDs are doing absolutely, positively nothing to curb pirates AND they're pissing me off because I, who paid good money, can't skip past the annoying messages every time I put the damn DVD in the player. Hell, even VHS let us fast-forward. And with regards to my fan-editing projects, if you'd develop a reasonable royalty calculation method by which I (or downloaders) could pay for distributing fan-edits the way I do to all musicians when I cover their material, then you'd stand to make money off of my hobby. As it stands, neither of us do. Because I will not capitalize on what you won't allow in the first place, even though the market shows there is a demand.
I am fluent in over six million forms of procrastination.
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Artists' mansions are shrinking. Their children are only able to afford a Wii and a 360, but not a PS3. Think about that the next time you download Nelly's new album, or even some up-and-coming band's new record which you tell all your friends about so they go to their shows and stuff. You just stole a CD from them.


I found this part especially funny.
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Originally posted by: ADigitalMan
Until the RIAA demonstrably proves to me that they are trying to increasing my sales as an independent artist, I will never buy into their rhetoric. The recording industry has done dick for my music. By killing Napster and the file-sharing community, they have decimated one of the best chances I have had to increase underground interest in my music. Corporate radio sure as hell isn't an outlet for discovering talent anymore, and Karaoke and country line dancing have killed live music dead in the small clubs and bars.

I hate the RIAA (and to a lesser extent the MPAA) because of their unwillingness to embrace new technologies and develop a proper way to monetize them. To the RIAA: You are killing my livelihood.

To the MPAA: Your FBI logos in front of my store-bought DVDs are doing absolutely, positively nothing to curb pirates AND they're pissing me off because I, who paid good money, can't skip past the annoying messages every time I put the damn DVD in the player. Hell, even VHS let us fast-forward. And with regards to my fan-editing projects, if you'd develop a reasonable royalty calculation method by which I (or downloaders) could pay for distributing fan-edits the way I do to all musicians when I cover their material, then you'd stand to make money off of my hobby. As it stands, neither of us do. Because I will not capitalize on what you won't allow in the first place, even though the market shows there is a demand.


I am also a musician and I hate the RIAA with a passion.
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Don't Download This Song
by "Weird Al" Yankovic

Once in a while maybe you will feel the urge
To break international copyright law
By downloading MP3s from file-sharing sites
Like Morpheus or Grokster or Limewire or KaZaA

But deep in your heart you know the guilt would drive you mad
And the shame would leave a permanent scar
'Cause you start out stealing songs and then you're robbing liquor stores
And sellin' crack and runnin' over school kids with your car

So don't download this song
The record store's where you belong
Go and buy the CD like you know that you should
Oh, don't download this song

Oh, you don't wanna mess with the R-I-double-A
They'll sue you if you burn that CD-R
It doesn't matter if you're a grandma or a seven year old girl
They'll treat you like the evil hard-bitten criminal scum you are

So don't download this song
Don't go pirating music all day long
Go and buy the CD like you know that you should
Oh, don't download this song

Don't take away money from artists just like me
How else can I afford another solid gold Hum-Vee
And diamond-studded swimming pools
These things don't grow on trees
So all I ask is, "Everybody, please..."

Don't donwload this song (Don't do it, no, no)
Even Lars Ulrich knows it's wrong (You can just ask him)
Go and buy the CD like you know that you should (You really should)
Oh, don't download this song

Don't donwload this song (Oh please, don't you do it)
Or you might wind up in jail like Tommy Chong (Remember Tommy)
Go and buy the CD (Right now) like you know that you should (Go out and buy it)
Oh, don't download this song

Don't download this song (No, no, no, no, no, no)
You'll burn in hell before too long (and you'll deserve it)
Go and buy the CD (Just buy it) like you know that you should (You cheap bastard)
Oh, don't download this song

My Projects:
[Holiday Special Hybrid DVD v2]
[X0 Project]
[Backstroke of the West DVD]
[ROTS Theatrical DVD]

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Thanks for this, guys! Made my day!

Who killed the electric song? RIAA. At least they are trying.
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Our music industry makes me wonder how the starving artists of the past ever accomplished what they did. Thank God we have our modern corporations to uplift and advance the quality of music in our society. Without them we'd probably be spending money on utter crap.

"Now all Lucas has to do is make a cgi version of himself.  It will be better than the original and fit his original vision." - skyjedi2005

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"To the MPAA: Your FBI logos in front of my store-bought DVDs are doing absolutely, positively nothing to curb pirates AND they're pissing me off because I, who paid good money, can't skip past the annoying messages every time I put the damn DVD in the player."

Hear, hear! It's shit like that, and all the dame intervening screens "Disney DVD", "Upcoming Films", blah, blah, blah, that make me make copies of my legitimately bought Disney DVDs, so my children and I don't have to go through them every single fucking time we play them.

Whatever happened to autostarters, like Waterworld.

<span class=“Italics”>MeBeJedi: Sadly, I believe the prequels are beyond repair.
<span class=“Bold”>JediRandy: They’re certainly beyond any repair you’re capable of making.</span></span>

<span class=“Italics”>MeBeJedi: You aren’t one of us.
<span class=“Bold”>Go-Mer-Tonic: I can’t say I find that very disappointing.</span></span>

<span class=“Italics”>JediRandy: I won’t suck as much as a fan edit.</span>

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Those stupid Disney DVDs. I had always thought VHS was retarded how they loaded up the beginning of movies with advertisments when I have already paid them money for their movie. And even more retarded that years later they were outdated ads advertising films "coming soon to a theater near you" that have not been in the theaters for several years. When DVD first came out I remember this was one of the big selling points they used, "No commercials". Now they not only have commercials, but they sometimes even force you to watch them. A step in the wrong direction if you ask me.

I often wonder how much money the MPAA really looses over piracy. The last DVD I bought was Revenge of the Sith (actually it was bought for me, but it is the latest DVD I own) and that is because of all this new HD technology coming out, and the infinate releases of every single film. Any DVD I buy I know I am going to sooner or later find a better more updated version on store shelves, that more than anything makes me think twice before purchasing any thing.

"Every time Warb sighs, an angel falls into a vat of mapel syrup." - Gaffer Tape

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Originally posted by: MeBeJedi
"To the MPAA: Your FBI logos in front of my store-bought DVDs are doing absolutely, positively nothing to curb pirates AND they're pissing me off because I, who paid good money, can't skip past the annoying messages every time I put the damn DVD in the player."

Hear, hear! It's shit like that, and all the dame intervening screens "Disney DVD", "Upcoming Films", blah, blah, blah, that make me make copies of my legitimately bought Disney DVDs, so my children and I don't have to go through them every single fucking time we play them.

Whatever happened to autostarters, like Waterworld.

What's even more ironic, most pirated dvds have the forced logos removed.
Fez: I am so excited about Star Whores.
Hyde: Fezzy, man, it's Star Wars.
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Originally posted by: Arnie.d
Originally posted by: MeBeJedi
"To the MPAA: Your FBI logos in front of my store-bought DVDs are doing absolutely, positively nothing to curb pirates AND they're pissing me off because I, who paid good money, can't skip past the annoying messages every time I put the damn DVD in the player."

Hear, hear! It's shit like that, and all the dame intervening screens "Disney DVD", "Upcoming Films", blah, blah, blah, that make me make copies of my legitimately bought Disney DVDs, so my children and I don't have to go through them every single fucking time we play them.

Whatever happened to autostarters, like Waterworld.

What's even more ironic, most pirated dvds have the forced logos removed.


Which ones are those?
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I love downloading a screener of something (for Academy members or something) and the ripper seems to intentionally leave in the big blue screen telling you that if you're watching it and you aren't who it was intended for then you are a piece of shit and should report it. They act like if you downloaded it, you know you aren't supposed to and should turn yourself in.

BTW, those adverts and warnings take up precious encoding space for the movie being pirated, so none of them have those.

Hey look, a bear!

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Some kids at school are acting so big just because they pirate movies. Idiot punk kids.
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LOL-I don't tell anyone that I do what I do----
t o r r e n t z . c o m
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Everyone always seems to turn to me to get them new music or movies or something. I always tell them to do it themselves and they act like I'm being an asshole. It seriously takes 5 minutes to find the right program and the right torrent (if you choose that way) and you're set, yet everyone seems to think you have to be a hacker or something. Most of them spend more time on the net than I do too.

Hey look, a bear!

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Originally posted by: sean wookie
Originally posted by: Arnie.d
Originally posted by: MeBeJedi
"To the MPAA: Your FBI logos in front of my store-bought DVDs are doing absolutely, positively nothing to curb pirates AND they're pissing me off because I, who paid good money, can't skip past the annoying messages every time I put the damn DVD in the player."

Hear, hear! It's shit like that, and all the dame intervening screens "Disney DVD", "Upcoming Films", blah, blah, blah, that make me make copies of my legitimately bought Disney DVDs, so my children and I don't have to go through them every single fucking time we play them.

Whatever happened to autostarters, like Waterworld.

What's even more ironic, most pirated dvds have the forced logos removed.


Which ones are those?

Hehe... all of them.

Most of my dvds (about 300) are store bought dvds. What bothers me is that the industry acts as if every downloaded dvd stands for the exact money they missed. Well, I hated the animated series of x-men. So I didn't want to see the movie(s). But downloaded x-men 1 from a torrent site a long time ago to give it a shot. I actually liked the movie so I bought the special edition 2 disc set in stores. Because I liked x-men 1 I went to see x-men 2 and 3 in cinemas + I bought them on dvd. This would not have happened if I didn't had the chance to download number 1 in the first place.
Fez: I am so excited about Star Whores.
Hyde: Fezzy, man, it's Star Wars.
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Yeah I think South park said it best.

"I see an island without an owner"

When my family sometimes has trouble paying for food I couldn't care less about over paid "artists" and the executives who leach off of them.