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Post #275445

Author
Doctor M
Parent topic
Superman by Taolar (Formally: Son of Jorel) WORKPRINT AVAILABLE
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/275445/action/topic#275445
Date created
5-Mar-2007, 6:04 PM
Yup, v2.0 is better. (And I do see improvement in the bus lifting.)

I think maybe it would be better if you cut the two words "the people" altogether. (Just leave "Don't do it.")
Cutting away from it makes it feel rushed, keeping the video shows the smirk. I don't think you can win with it. Also (and maybe it's just me) his tone in delivering the line is still pretty poor.
(Mind you, you can't edit by committee, do what you feel is right.)