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Another bloody edit of TPM (* unfinished project *) — Page 3

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Re: the Queen / Padme thing:

I am convinced that this problem can be solved in the throne room when Keira Knightley shows up with the backup troops. There's plenty going on at once and inserting Natalie Portman's "my decoy" from the deleted Boss Nass scene as Keira turns up should be possible IMO.
I am NOT a committee!
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No, I think that it is only not confusing because we have lived with Ep1 for several years now. A good movie should give just the right amount of explanation to the audience.

With the earlier reveal now edited out, we've only seen Natalie Portman giving orders before the raid - it's clear at this point that this is the queen, but not clear that she is wearing one of Padme's outfits. She does not change costume after this point. The decoy doesn't appear (iirc) until the scene in the throne room, and a throwaway "my decoy!" as the doors open is enough IMO to confuse Gunray and enlighten the audience.

The alternative would be to splice some Neeson dialogue into an earlier scene (because Qui-Gonn has quite clearly sussed that Padme===Amidala already) so that he addresses Padme as "Queen". I can't think of a suitable place for this to occur, though.

Someone mentioned earlier that the whole bongo scene can be removed, and I like this idea. However, filmically, I think the audience needs to see the Gungan city so that they have some empathy with the Gungans (and have met them in a quasi-intelligent capacity) before the battle. It also allows Jar Jar to come out of the swamp later and comment something like "a massacre... they're all dead!", just before the raid briefing scene.
I am NOT a committee!
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Someone mentioned earlier that the whole bongo scene can be removed, and I like this idea. However, filmically, I think the audience needs to see the Gungan city so that they have some empathy with the Gungans (and have met them in a quasi-intelligent capacity) before the battle.

OK, I hope my reasoning makes sense.
So, to be honest, I think I'm kind of against this idea. I never would have thought I'd want to cut any of that...I love the gungan city and the sea creature chase!
But, now, I'm thinking it's better out. For one thing, It'll help speed up the trip to Anakin. I think this is probably the most important concept.
But I also don't think we need to go to the city because, at least for me, it doesn't really create any empathy...well, maybe it does...but do you really need to know the gungans that well?
The one we need to know about is Jar Jar-...
Maybe I'm picturing this edit differently.
My idea (if you were to use my video clip concepts) is that the gungans are there when the droids land. We meet Jar Jar too. A little later, the gungans battle the droids. The battle takes place before Tatoonie...maybe. After that, the gungans really don't show up again-...which, now that I think about it...that doesn't make much sense. You need some kind of closure with the gungans. But since I *think* you're cutting the end celebration, what fate will the gungans have? I guess my other question would be: are the Naboo and the gungans friends or enemies?

It also allows Jar Jar to come out of the swamp later and comment something like "a massacre... they're all dead!", just before the raid briefing scene.

I think without seeing any battle in the underwater city, what's the point of having JarJar mention it?
As I understand it, by this point in the movie, we've seen the gungans battle the droids and lose...right?
Plus Jar Jar doesn't seem too upset if it were a massacre...
Also, another thought: do we NEED the briefing scene? I guess a briefing scene is normal for star wars...it just doesn't have much...gusto.
Plus, does that mean you have to cut out the talk about the gungans fighting the droids? Or do they fight them again?

There's a few things to chew on...
Just bringing thoughts to the table, Ith!

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But to go with an idea like that, having the ground battles earlier on...would the plotline of anakin disabling the battle droids by taking out the lead federation ship sync up somehow? or be removed?i guess its only important if showing the Gungans as the victors.
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Originally posted by: Johnny Ringo
But to go with an idea like that, having the ground battles earlier on...would the plotline of anakin disabling the battle droids by taking out the lead federation ship sync up somehow? or be removed?i guess its only important if showing the Gungans as the victors.


It could easily be removed. I quite like this idea, a huge thing to do, bring the battle to the start of the film (ala ESB) but I like it....

Anakin can easily spend the end of the movie "hiding" in the Naboo starfighter after Qui-Gon tells him to stay put. He's only a kid afterall anyway and doesn't belong in the battle. The Maul/Obi/QuiGon fights and Queen/Viceroy fights could quite easily carry the remainder of the film and be pieced together with the Gungan battle cut out/repositioned.

Ambitious! Bloody oathe!

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Well, I think Anakin needs SOMETHING to do. I think he could still blow up the ship (as Ith has said before)...but does he disable the droids?
If so, what footage do we use to show this happening to the droids?
Do we use the original footage that includes the gungans?
If so, why are the gungans there? Are they fighting the droids again?
Or is it possible to rotoscope a few droids out of that scene and put them elsewhere?
If so, where? In the throne room?

Lots of questions...

OK, so I was going back re-reading some of the thread when I saw that the gungans are supposed to be dead (according to an earlier post by Ith) by the end of the film-...I guess, except Jar Jar.
I'm not sure it's a good idea to kill ALL of them off. Not sure if I could really say why...it's a bold idea...
Actually, I thought maybe you were planning on the TF capturing the gungans and using them as slaves (looking at the new crawl).
Another random thought: A good way to have a celebration (without using the one currently in TPM) at the end of the film (ala ANH) would be to use the Naboo shot used in ROTJ SE DVD.
OK, I'm done for now!

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Attack of the Clones: Alternate Timeline Edit Thread:
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well there's one reason i can think of why killing all the gungans wont make sense. Because they appear to have Jar Jar as a representative in the senate in later years.

Good thinking with Anakin. It may well be possible to still have him destroy the control ship AND remove any reference to taking down the droids...The ships would still need to pose a threat at this point tho - just as the blockade i guess...

I agree he needs something to do but I still dont like that he destroys the ship but random button mashing [and trigger pulling] alone tho. Having him convincingly plan to do it would be nice if possible. maybe cut and paste some dialogue?


He's only a kid afterall anyway and doesn't belong in the battle.

You could say the same about Luke.


The trade federation might seem sinister if given an actual purpose [that will be one of my goals]. not just blockading cuz a guy in a robe told them to. I the the idea of them attempting to enslave the gungans - has more of a gritty, real world feel to it. The droids DID seem effective at rounding up civilians.


I'd love for the film to end on Palpatine. but i'm not sure how well that would work. we all know there's sequels to the story so there's really no need to wrap things up neatly at the end. At the end of ANH they were celebrating the heroes that stopped the imperial death star on their doorstep. in TPM the only reason seems to be the newfound unity between the races...That doesn't really seem to fit anymore i guess.

I wonder if it would be possible to paint the gungans out of the city. maybe its desserted when the jedi arrive since they are on the battlefield?
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Originally posted by: Johnny Ringo

You could say the same about Luke.


Surely Luke's story is more believable than Anakins though? A 19 year old (who has had years more life experience and years behind his T16), who with Obi-Wan's help, uses the force to destroy the Death Star vs the brat who is able to blow up ships accidentally as we're shown in TPM?

I guess he does need something to do as he is on Naboo and all but with the material that's available, there ain't much to be done.

The idea of Anakin blowing up the ship but not disabling the droids is an option though. Definitely workable.
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Maybe I'm just burned out from trying to map out this movie for so long on the Ranch, but I really don't see how you can remove the Gungan/Droid battle and still have a reason for the space battle. This gets even more confusing without the brefing scene, which in theory could be edited around mention of the ground battle. Don't get me wrong, I like the ideas here of reshuffling the Gungans scenes and omitting "I am Queen Amidala" all together, but I don't see how it is possible with the footage available. More power to you if you can figure all that out.
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If you have the Naboo fighters as part of the finale, then it has to be an attempt to bring down the droid control ships-- i.e. disable the droids. The Padme/Jedi stuff on its own won't easily make any kind of sense-- especially if it means cutting out the battle at the hanger where they release the pilots so they can go destroy the droid ships (I mean, if they aren't going to destroy the droid control ships, then why bother to release a few pilots?).

Anyway, my suggestion is to use some footage of the Gungans being herded around by the droids as if it were "concentration camp" footage. Then use the footage of the droids failing and flopping at the Gungan prisoners' feet to illustrate the effect of Anakin's attack.

This would mean keeping a few Gungans alive and establishing the "camps" somehow so cutting to them makes a little sense. But it allows the battle to be moved up front and allows the Anakin vs. Droid ship sequence to makes sense and carry story weight.

I love the idea of moving the Gungan massacre into the opening. It will generate sympathy for Jar Jar that will make the whole movie more watchable! It makes that battle more exciting and juices up the opening of the movie. It strengthens the bad-guys and puts the Queen and Jedi in more jeopardy as the droids take over her city. I think this is a major breakthrough, on par with the idea of eliminating Darth Sidious from the movie (which I consider another vital improvement, clarifying who the badguys are in this movie and allowing it to flow properly. A lot of discussion on that point is in the "Starkiller Ranch" thread.) It even streamlines the ending sequences in a good way -- provided we make a bigger "meal" of the space-fight sequences. My opinion is that the space battle is vital to making the ending really work-- for the "Star Wars" feeling to be there, that space battle needs to be built up and tied well to the story. It should be Anakin's big moment in the movie.

If we can get this to happen, and have Anakin's victory tie in to his sensing of Qui-Gon's demise-- then the downbeat ending-- This could finally be a really good movie! It's a lot of work, but someone, some day has got to do it.

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I really like the direction this is going in. Here's an outline of how all this might tie together:

________________________________________________

Opening Crawl. Jist: the Republic has abolished slavery. In protest, the Niemodian slavers have prepared an attack on Naboo. The Jedi have secretly stowed aboard the tradefed vessels.

PAN DOWN to Naboo, with droid ships in orbit.

(Optional scene here where we see Qui Gon and Obi Wan drop out of ventilation shaft, observe the droid army, and discuss plans to stow away aboard landing ships.)

Landing ships head toward planet and land. (In some way we need to communicate that the tradefed plan is to attack Naboo from the Gungan side, enslave them first, then attack the Naboo. Also, Nute is not aware of the Jedi's presence.)

QuiGon saves Jar Jar, they encounter Obi Wan, and go to Gungan city. Jar Jar is surprised to see
that the city is deserted (rotoscope the city to be empty).

Meanwhile, the Gungans emerge from the swamp. Nute activates the droid army, and the battle ensues.

We cut to Gungan city exterior, as the Jedi and JarJar leave in a bongo.

Gungans fight and lose to Droid army.

A little exposition by JarJar in Bongo. He explains that the Naboo and Gungans don't get along. No other underwater footage.

Droid army rolls on to Theed, takes the city, and captures the queen. Nute mentions that the Gungans have been defeated and will be placed in concentration/slave camps. Nute says the Queen and her people are next.

Queen is lead away by droids, we suddenly see Qui Gon and Obi Wan appear and save them (we cut the Bongo's arrival at Theed, so we are surprised by the Jedi's appearance here). No mention of negotiations. Jedi take the queen to her ship and get off the planet.

Nute contacts Maul to track the Queen. She is needed to sign a treaty that will enslave her people.

Tatooine stuff (a whole other ball of wax).

Coruscant stuff (eh...)

They return to Naboo and have their briefing. The plan is to storm the city and capture Nute. At the same time, the pilots will disable the droid control ship. No mention of a Gungan distraction. (Why are they disabling the ship? As a backup to victory if the attempt to capture Nute fails, and to free the Gungans.)

*One question arises, going with MTHaslett's idea for a Gungan concentration camp (which I loved, by the way), what exactly will JarJar be doing in the end? I think we need to give him something to do. Should he try to sneak into the Gungan camp? Should he go talk to Boss Nass (who can be in hiding in the sacred place)?

End battles play out pretty much as usual (except no Gungans). Qui Gon dies first. Queen is captured next. Anakin ends up in tradefed ship. (Things are looking really bad at this point. The only thing that can save them is the force.) Then Qui Gon, already dead, uses force talk to help Anakin destroy the control ship (just like in ANH).

Ship blows up and gungans are freed, as we see droids fall over (as per MTHaslett's idea). And finally (I hope this can be pulled off as SomethingStarWarsRelated suggested), have the droids in the throne room fall over via rotoscoping. Queen: "It's time to negotiate a new treaty".

Palpatine's shuttle arrives and Nute is escorted away. Yoda talks to Obi Wan (but maybe this can be cut). Funeral scene (Obi Wan mentions that he will train Anakin).

Iris out to end credits.

_______________________________

This still leaves the Queen's identity unresolved, but I think it works well otherwise. This whole queen identity subplot is really weak anyway. Why does Nute have any reason to thing Padme is the queen before her decoy shows up? She's not dressed as the queen.

Some possibilities for revealing the Queen:

1) Qui Gon can address her as queen or highness when she asks to come along on Tatooine. Some whimsical music can play this up.

2) Maybe the scene with Boss Nass in the sacred place can be salvaged. But what help is Padme asking for? I'm a bit stumped on this one. Any ideas?

You know of the rebellion against the Empire?

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Alright, Erikstormtrooper, Commander Courage, MTHaslett, Johnny Ringo, Dantha Fodder...great comments and observations!
I'm not even sure where to begin!
Alot of great thoughts to think about!

But I think I'll start with the gungans.
This MUST be figured out before anything else...*I* think.
So, first, IF we use the briefing scene, take a look at the background...gungans! So we can't kill them ALL off.
Second, I really like the idea of concentration camps, but it looks as if there is only one shot in the movie that really shows this idea (the one with the droids leading the gungans with their hands up).
AND it seems like there won't be a good way of roto-ing anyone out of those frames.
So, with that in mind, chew on this idea:
Sometime, before the all the fight scenes at the end, we establish that the gungans are being enslaved (like Erikstormtrooper suggested) and are going to be loaded onto the TF ship.
That's why the gungans are in the big clearing. Some ship is going to land there and the gungans will be loaded onto it (the shot of the gungans with their hands in the air).
Jedi fight, Anakin flies, Queen does her thang, and Jar Jar (with a few other gungans-...maybe tarples?) go to try and free as many gungans as they can at the concentration camps.
Now, obviously, you would have to manipulate some of the shots to make this work...like roto Jar Jar out of some earlier scenes so he could actually achieve this goal...hmm.
I'll put some more thought into this...

Oh, and another thought on that: Jar Jar could be more heroic in this scene by having him release those blue ball things onto the droids...?

Thoughts please!

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Attack of the Clones: Alternate Timeline Edit Thread:
https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/SSWRs-Attack-of-the-Clones-Alternate-Timeline-Edit/id/66888

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Jar Jar could be more heroic in this scene by having him release those blue ball things onto the droids...?

And not taking a cannon to the nuts!

I'm all for the enslavement idea if possible and i agree on sorting out the chronology of the gungan plotline first... I haven't had a chance to really review any of the footage yet. I havent looked but what of the possibility of having the sphere of a trade fed ship descend - ala geonosis.
- Although it would seem the ring section would be more suited given the storage space.
- or they could be planning to herd them up by the shuttle load?

It was never made clear WHAT the federation trades in, i guess you can bend this to your will.



I'll have to go and rewatch tpm on the weekend and see what else i think of. I'm happy to contribute here as i'm really interested in the ideas brought forth as well as improving the pacing of the movie. - be forewarned tho, i may steal good ideas for my self .
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Johnny Ringo, I'm curious, when do you plan to do your own TPM edit?
And not taking a cannon to the nuts!
Does he really? I never noticed that! Ha!
Yeah. Cut that out.
the sphere of a trade fed ship descend - ala geonosis

Yes! That could work very well! I like it! It would be "easy" to add in to the movie too.

As everyone can tell, I'm really into this edit at the moment. I would love to do my own someday, but I don't know if I'll have the time or money. That's why I love contributing in this way. I have no responsiblity!

Erikstormtrooper, I love alot of your ideas in your post. I actually took your outline and modified it to suit my own desires...for the moment.
I just might continue to modify it until we have the whole movie. I'd like to share it with all of you:

Opening Crawl. Jist: the Republic has abolished slavery. In protest, the Niemodian slavers have secretly prepared an attack on Naboo. The Jedi have come to settle some other dispute (?), but Nute orders the droids to kill them. Why? They can't know about this invasion. They would go report them to the republic. The Jedi find the invasion army and stow away on the ships.

Then, this happens: Clip 1 (droids landing and gungans reacting)

Nute tells droid (through hologram) to attack Naboo from the gungan side, enslave them first, then attack the Naboo.

Can we put the queen scene here (the one with Palpy on hologram)? I guess we can, we just have to cut a few things...like all of Palpy's lines!

This scene happens: Clip 2 (gungan watchs army approach through binoculars)

QuiGon saves Jar Jar (Binks says he was on his way to the battle, but now he wants to help the Jedi), and the three of them head toward Theed.

Meanwhile, the Gungans emerge from the swamp (let’s cut the fog). Nute activates the droid army, and the battle begins. (Obviously, we cut Binks out of the battle because he is with the Jedi.)

Another scene here? a Nute scene?

A separate droid army rolls on to Theed, takes the city, and captures the queen.

Gungans fight and lose to Droid army.

Show Jedi and Binks coming in the “back entrance” (the last shot from the deleted waterfall scene)

Nute mentions to the queen that the Gungans have been defeated and will be placed in concentration/slave camps. Nute says the Queen and her people are next.

Queen is lead away by droids. We have Jedi & Binks appear and save them. Jedi take the queen to her ship and get off the planet.

Nute contacts Maul to track the Queen. She is needed to sign a treaty that will enslave her people.

Tatooine stuff (a whole other ball of wax).

Coruscant stuff (eh...)

They return to Naboo and have their briefing. The plan is to storm the city and capture Nute. Binks and some gungans will attempt to save a few more gungans at the concentration camps. At the same time, the pilots will disable the droid control ship. Why are they disabling the ship? As a backup, if the attempt to capture Nute fails, and, of course, to free the Gungans.

Should Binks go talk to Boss Nass (who can be in hiding in the sacred place)?

End battles play out pretty much as usual. Qui-Gon dies first. Queen is captured next. Anakin ends up in TF ship. Things are looking really bad at this point. The only thing that can save them is the force. Then Qui-Gon, already dead, uses force talk to help Anakin destroy the control ship (just like in ANH).

Ship blows up, droids are disabled, and gungans are freed.

Palpatine's shuttle arrives and Nute is escorted away.

Show gungans celebrating with clip of ROTJ SE DVD (I believe we need to see *some* kind of victory. I think this is the best way to do that).

Yoda talks to Obi Wan (but maybe this can be cut). Funeral scene (Obi Wan mentions that he will train Anakin). Last shot is everyone facing camera with Qui-Gon burning in the middle.

Iris out to end credits.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
So, there it is...for now. Let's add and change it up.

OK, I don't know if the video clips links are working or not...the links were giving me trouble. But you should be able to find them either way from the link that is there...

SSWR’s YouTube channel

Attack of the Clones: Alternate Timeline Edit Thread:
https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/SSWRs-Attack-of-the-Clones-Alternate-Timeline-Edit/id/66888

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LTH,

Are still working on your Episode I edit?

For some reason yesterday I started thinking about all the cool things that were discussed for this edit.

Can we coax you into coming out of hiding?

You know of the rebellion against the Empire?

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For some reason yesterday I started thinking about all the cool things that were discussed for this edit.


Strange. Me too.
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Hello,

I was waiting for TM's Ep2 to come out. It seems to have been delayed somewhat

Also, I'm a lazy bastard. One day I'll knock out a rough cut to storyboard my idea.

Finally, I have a fulltime job and a business on the side. Time is not my friend.

Thanks for the good vibes, anyhoo.
I am NOT a committee!
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Originally posted by: lth
Hello,

I was waiting for TM's Ep2 to come out. It seems to have been delayed somewhat

Also, I'm a lazy bastard. One day I'll knock out a rough cut to storyboard my idea.

Finally, I have a fulltime job and a business on the side. Time is not my friend.

Thanks for the good vibes, anyhoo.


I'm sorry, folks- my computer's been down. The movie is basically done- from here it's a bunch of technicalities: encoding, mixing, subitles, etc...

The cut itself is locked.

Episode II: Shroud of the Dark Side

Emperor Jar-Jar
“Back when we made Star Wars, we just couldn’t make Palpatine as evil as we intended. Now, thanks to the miracles of technology, it is finally possible. Finally, I’ve created the movies that I originally imagined.” -George Lucas on the 2007 Extra Extra Special HD-DVD Edition

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Because of the Episode 1 DVD's age, I sugest a color correction a a saber repaint job.
You dig?
RB
Film Reinvented
Come On!
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Originally posted by: RemixerBoss
Because of the Episode 1 DVD's age, I sugest a color correction a a saber repaint job.
You dig?


Episode 1 has my favorite lightsabers out of the entire saga. They don't look like popcycles getting waved around, they look rough and have a look of real energy that doesn't assume a definite shape.


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That's because of the disadvantages of DVD tech. in '01.
RB
Film Reinvented
Come On!
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DVD tech has nothing to do with how the lightsabers are roto'd. They are roto'd in an editing software, and looked like that in the theatre.