You know, you mentioned something that does strike a chord with me.
"You're uncomfortable in situations you don't know how to behave or don't have full control of the situation."
For a long time, probably as long as I can remember, I have been an observer and a researcher. I plan things out. I investigate my options. I rarely leap without having looked (in fact I'd probably try to measure how far I need to leap, then test myself to make sure I could make the leap).
You are absolutely right, I really am not comfortable in those kinds of situations. In fact that's one thing I tried to tell my coworker. She seemed to discount it at first, but she later told me that she would try to find things I'd be more comfortable doing.
"Try going out with some friends, including that friend of yours, and just be yourself"
She told me that too, that I need to be myself. My problem is: I either don't know what 'myself' is like OR she's seen 'myself' and thinks that it isn't 'myself'.
"I'm not sure what you're thinking about achieving with that... What will change?"
Well, the time off, having less responsibilities and worries is something I think I could use. As I said before, I so rarely take vacations. I can relax.
As far as the introspection, my exact methods I'm not even clear on. My reason for starting this in the first place was to get ideas on what I could do.
I may try taking a topic that I feel I need to clear up in my head and just do some kind of stream of consciousness writing with it. Anything that enters my head, I write.
I may use what I can only call 'The Mindy Method', named for a cartoon character from Animaniacs. Simply take a question and ask myself why. Why do I care? Why did I let XXXXX affect me the way it did? Why can't I bring myself to tell someone I care, especially in person?
What will change? Maybe nothing, maybe everything, maybe somewhere in between. I need to examine my motivations and see if I need to change them and if I CAN change them.
One of the things my coworker has told me is that she thinks I lack any self-confidence. That I choose not to say some things for fear of offending someone.
I think she's at least partially right. What she didn't come up with, and what just entered my mind now, is I think I choose not to say things for fear of myself being hurt. I could bring myself to tell a girl in HS how I felt, for fear of rejection. I have difficulty putting myself in social situations because I fear I may say something stupid and get laughed at or otherwise riticuled.
I also don't think these are conscious fears. I think they reside deeper than that. My mind tricks my body to make it harder for me to "put myself in danger," so to speak.