(they watch "Jedi" with the original ending, hate TPM, and bash Lucas)
selected bits:
Bilbo Bagshot: What about the Ewoks eh? They were rubbish. You don't complain about them.
Tim: Yeah but Jar Jar makes the Ewoks look like... fuckin'... Shaft.
Daisy: So how are you, you big bloody man?
Tim: I'm good, I'm good. Just, had a few things to sort out.
Daisy: With Sarah?
Tim: No, with George Lucas.
Daisy: Tim, it's been over a year.
Tim: It's been 18 months, Daisy. And it still hurts.
Daisy: Well, I didn't think The Phantom Menace was *that* bad.
[to a Star Wars: The Phantom Menace fan]
Tim Bisley: You are so blind! You so do not understand! You weren't there at the beginning. You don't know how good it was! How important! This is it for you! This jumped-up firework display of a toy advert! People like you make me sick! What's wrong with you? Now, I don't care if you've saved up all your fifty 'p's, take your pocket money and get out!
[the little boy runs off, crying]
Tim Bisley: What a prick.
Tim: Brian, did you notice that everything that transpired in those three films - and I *mean* everything - can be attributed to the actions of one very *minor* character?
Brian: Who?
Tim: The gunner on the Star Destroyer at the beginning of the first film.
Brian: How come?
Tim: [know-it-all] Well. Hmmhmmhmm. Because, if the gunner *had* shot the pod that C-3P0 and R2 were in, they wouldn't have got to Tatooine, they wouldn't have met Luke, Luke wouldn't have met Ben, they wouldn't have met Han and Chewie, they wouldn't have rescued Princess Leia. *None* of it would have happened.