As for cutting yourself, I've been there too. It sounds like a cliche, but it won't make anything better. I know how bad depression sucks. Like being sucked into a black hole where every little thing you do feels like it was designed by some higher power just to illustrate what a total fuck-up loser you are. I woke up and cried in the shower for no reason for like 4 years. Every morning before school I contemplated ending it. At the time it seemed like death would have been preferable to the living hell called high school. It seems funny now. That is the upside. It WILL end eventually. For me, it was the birth of my daughter. Every day since then has been sunny, at least to me. Hang in there. It seems bleak now, I know. Just remember that you are NOT the only one who feels like you do. As for cutting yourself, I've been there too. It sounds like a cliche, but it won't make anything better. I know how bad depression sucks. Like being sucked into a black hole where every little thing you do feels like it was designed by some higher power just to illustrate what a total fuck-up loser you are. I woke up and cried in the shower for no reason for like 4 years. Every morning before school I contemplated ending it. At the time it seemed like death would have been preferable to the living hell called high school. It seems funny now. That is the upside. It WILL end eventually. For me, it was the birth of my daughter. Every day since then has been sunny, at least to me. Hang in there. It seems bleak now, I know. Just remember that you are NOT the only one who feels like you do.