Originally posted by: Master Skywalker
I already did

My new ROTJ crawl:

Episode III
Revenge of the Jedi

The rebellion is doomed. The GALACTIC EMPIRE is about
to finish the construction of a new armored space station,
even stronger then the first dreaded DEATH STAR.

While the rebel fleet is regrouping to form a GREAT
REBEL FLEET, Luke Skywalker, the last JEDI KNIGHT
alive, is returning to his homeplanet of Tatooine to
rescue rebel general HAN SOLO from the cluthes
of the vile gangster JABBA THE HUTT.

Its a hard time for the remaining freedom fighters,
that are trying to restore justice and freedom to the
galaxy, and the empire is preparing for the final
battle . . .

I think its better but the end needs a little work. Any ideas are always welcome

I'd change "While the rebel fleet is regrouping to form a GREAT REBEL FLEET" to:
"While the scattered remnants of the Alliance are regrouping to form a GREAT REBEL FLEET."

Also "homeplanet" should be two words.

"Its" should be changed to the contration "It's," or better yet, split up the contraction to "It is."

Maybe the last bit could read:

"It is a perilous time for the remaining freedom fighters
struggling to restore peace and justice to the galaxy,
as the Empire prepares the ultimate weapon for the final
battle..."

EDIT: Here's my version of your crawl:

The rebellion is doomed. The GALACTIC EMPIRE is nearing
completion of the construction of a new armored space station,
even more powerful then the first dreaded DEATH STAR.

While the scattered remnants of the Alliance are regrouping
to form a GREAT REBEL FLEET, Luke Skywalker, the last of
the JEDI KNIGHTS, is returning to his home planet of
Tatooine to rescue rebel general HAN SOLO from the clutches
of the vile gangster JABBA THE HUTT.

It is a perilous time for the remaining freedom fighters
struggling to restore peace and justice to the galaxy,
as the Empire prepares the ultimate weapon for the final
battle...