Well, my little friend, you've got something jammed in here real good.
I swear that's the last time I buy from Ebay....
"WHAT'S THIS?"
"Young ADigitalMan, it is time for the truth.
" I am your father. "
(No. No. That's not true! That's impossible!)
"Search your feelings. You know it to be true."
"You have done well, my son. Only through destruction of the past, can we control the future."
"The book was de-Seussed by the dark side of The Force."
"Join me, and together we can rule the toy, movie, cartoon, comic book, book and videogame industries as father and son."
"Come with me. It is the only way."
"Remember always - Lose The Source, dude."