First off, as a new member, you might want to turn on your pm's - not that I have one to send to you, but it will help in the future, I'm sure.
Overall, I think ADigitalMan's Special Editions have what you are looking for.
Most 2004-based edits have the ANH edits you want. Darth Editous is doing an Episode V edit that meets most of your criteria, also. Not sure who else might have ROTJ's new ending music in, but there might be some.
You and I agree on a lot of the changes we'd make.