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Simple Storytelling — Page 5

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Loretta immedietly awoke from her coma, grasping at her throat.

War does not make one great.

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"My necklace!", she said. "Someone stole my necklace while I was on a coma! And I need it to reveal the secret of the Ace of Spades!"
“Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.” — Nazi Reich Marshal Hermann Goering
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Then Loretta jumped out of her bed, ran out of her room, and dumped her head in the horse trough that was unexplicably in the hallway of this hospital.

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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Mojo pulled her out of the trough but she was unconcious again.

War does not make one great.

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It turned out that Loretta was wrong, because her necklace was still around her neck. Mojo thought, sadly, that without Loretta still conscious, there was no way for him to use the necklace. He hoped that it would only take a few more minutes for the stuff to really clear up her head, but he was no doctor.

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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Luckily, his guess was right, and within ten minutes Loretta was awake.

War does not make one great.

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Deciding to forego any more Back to the Future Part III references, Reallife took control of Mojo and snatched the necklace from Loretta's neck, demanding her to reveal the secrets.

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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And she said the other part of the necklace, that would bring the final truth that Mojo seeks, is buried under a big W.
“Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.” — Nazi Reich Marshal Hermann Goering
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Not knowing eactly HOW large the big W was, Mojo and Reallife searched the internet for clues, eventually resignign themselves to booking a spaceflight that orbited earth hoping to find out the meaning of this massive W that they couldn't seem to find even with the great and might powers of Google.

4

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Sadly, the space tourism was too expensive, so they decided to get every image in high res from Google Earth and print it out, so it would look like they are on space.
“Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.” — Nazi Reich Marshal Hermann Goering
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And the other part of the neckalace, perchance, was only a rod to the left.
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So they went to where they thought the necklace was buried and realised it wasn't there. Google Earth had failed them. Frustrated, Mojo done a handstand (as he always does in times of frustration because it relaxes him), which caused reallife to cry out 'THERE IT IS!!'

Mojo looked at where reallife was pointing. In the handstand position, the M on Mojo's t-shirt became a W!! The necklace was INSIDE Mojo!!

War does not make one great.

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After three hours of intensive surgery, Mojo emerged with a scar in his chest and the other part of the neckless in hand...

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"Wow," Mojo mused. "How amazing that my possessed and sold soul housing an evil entity can perform surgery on me so well... And not choose to kill me in the process!"

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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"I'm right here, doofus," Reallife muttered from inside Mojo's soul. "And to be perfectly honest, just because I'm a demon doesn't make me evil. I'm just.... altriustically impaired."

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"Okay," Mojo said, "I'll bite. What the hell could possibly the difference between the two? And wouldn't that be an awesome idea for a guitar-based ballad?"

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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The idea given to him by the demon Reallife was an instant success, and Mojo's fame skyrockted as Altruistically Impaired became the nunber one single in America, Sweeden, Denmark, and the United Kingdom.

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With Mojo's sudden success whisking him off his feet, many years passed before Mojo even thought about his destiny, the necklace, or the card again. But, of course, that was all part of Reallife's altruistically-imparied plan. It was a really quite complicated plan, actually.

EDIT: Added subordinate phrase in first sentence for clarification.

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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so complicated, in fact, that the demon had no clue what was coming next. Down in the 7th layer of hell stood Reallife's boss, Oxnar. Oxnar was an evil bloke, so evil that looking into his eyes would send strong men down the path of insanity.

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And still, Oxnar had a gentle and kind way and a musically beautiful voice. The whole contradiction had people go insane. Oxnar decided to end the partnership between Reallife and Mojo. To end it in blood.
“Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.” — Nazi Reich Marshal Hermann Goering
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Which, after some pondering and assistance of a magic 8 ball, was answered by Oxnar himself: Mojo's and Reallife's blood. So he decided to go to Earth in order to solve this issue. So he wouldn't be noticed on Earth, he changed his self image as the image of a 10 year old Shirley Temple, his favorite actress.
“Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.” — Nazi Reich Marshal Hermann Goering
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Word of a ten year old Shirly Temple intent on spilling their blood quickly reached Mojo and Reallife (who at this point were on tour in Japan to promote their new album 'pass the peanuts'). Mojo, no stranger to death threats from maniacal fans, was understandably scared and decided to triple his bodyguard count. Reallife, on the other hand, was not concerned because, being a soul inhabiting demon, he had no blood.

War does not make one great.

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Shirley Temple got into an airplane and travelled to Tokyo. "Eeeto... Sumimasen! Sumimasen!", she asked a japanese citizen after arriving, "Mojo to Rearuraifu wa doko ni imasu ka?", asking for the location of Mojo and Reallife.
“Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.” — Nazi Reich Marshal Hermann Goering