I don't agree with everthing he says, but he's got a few ideas that actually seem possible. Check it out:
"4) Yoda’s first statement
Why: “The dark side clouds everything.” It seems too early in the film to be mentioning the dark side of the Force and how everything’s getting dark. Plus it seems rather un-wise of Yoda to be admitting his vulnerability to everyone including the Chancellor. In my opinion, things like this are usually discussed only within the Jedi Council. Either way, it’s too early in the film to mention something like that.
How: Replace the line with something like “Hmm, the future…always difficult to see it is.” Like this it’s more general, and gives less of a feeling that something’s up with the Force from the get-go. There’s plenty of time later to focus on that."
10) Protection and investigation
Why: The dialogue between Obi-Wan and Anakin when they’re talking about protecting the senator as opposed to investigating the matter could be done a little more smoothly. Anakin can still look disobedient, but it could be a little more cleaned up.
How: I think this is just a matter of cut and paste. Take the first line Obi-Wan says in reply to Padmé, “We’re here to protect you, senator. Not to start an investigation,” and place it just before Anakin says, “Why?” after leaving a little pause after the previous line. This way Anakin doesn’t look so goofy when he says, “We will find out who’s trying to kill you Padmé, I promise you,” and the whole conversation flows a little more smoothly.
11) Anakin confessing to Jar Jar
Why: When Anakin is talking to Jar Jar, he tells him that he’s been thinking about Padmé every day since they’ve parted, but here’s a question…who would tell this to Jar Jar?? And in that same conversation we have another example of ignoring kind words when Jar Jar tells Anakin that “Hesa bustin with happiness.”
How: After Jar Jar tells Anakin, “Mesa bustin with happiness seeing yousa again, Ani” have Anakin say, “I’m happy to see you too, Jar Jar. –pause– Padmé barely even recognized me.” He watches her walk away. “She’s forgotten me completely.” This should be a simple dub because Anakin is facing away from the camera and part of his dialogue is off-screen.
18) Anakin’s jump onto Zam’s speeder
Why: Anakin jumping from his speeder and falling hundreds of meters only to fall directly onto Zam’s speeder totally unhurt seems very unrealistic, even for a Jedi.
How: This can be changed by significantly decreasing the distance Anakin falls. Cut all the shots of him falling, just show him jumping out of his speeder, followed by the shot of him falling and landing on Zam’s speeder. He actually falls a good distance in that shot, and it’s more than enough."
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Anyway, if you have time, take a look.