Hmm... that clip doesn't work for me for a number of reasons. Like the others have stated, cutting from the ambassadors' ship right to the escaping Jedi is very confusing, and I'm not sure how you get around that if you can't somehow generate a new shot from the opening pan down. It also doesn't feel right to me that the queen is getting out of dodge before the sh*t even goes down... but maybe I'm just conditioned to expect the old dynamic of her wanting to stick it out and resist. The neimoidians say they don't dare go against the jedi, but the jedi aren't even there any more. They just split. Then we see the ambassadors' ship again, and apparently it's taken ten minutes for them to travel about 50 feet. Cutting from the shot of the ambassadors' ship docking to the shot of it sitting there when the guns turn on it isn't a good transition. You'd need more of an angle change to justify it. Right now it looks like a weird jump cut.

I'm still curious to see where you take this.