Absolutely great! This is the best reworking of the beginning of TPM I've seen (and I've seen a lot). It makes it feel a lot more like SW, being thrown into the action, and having to figure out what's going on as you go, rather than having it laboriously spelled out to you. Only point of contention is the first cut - it seems unnecessary and confusing to show the ambassadors ship, then cut straight to the queen's ship.

As far as the ending goes, I think you have to have the iris wipe into the end credits and go straight into the fanfare at the same time. Can't you do this from the last shot of the funeral without changing the funeral score?