unfortunately, upper management is looking for redundancies in the corporation and we can't promise all will have jobs.
1) our prior employment roster of 1000 grues will be cut to 2. this will save time and money, especially with facilities. I mean, seriously, who wants to clean after 1000 grues?
2) all clones will be disposed of. Clones are only second to uncleanliness against grues. although they look the same as their respective dopplegangers they have no understanding of personal hygiene. plus i saw one of them pissing in YIYF's pirhana tank.
3) sexxy parties are mandatory when reaching milestones. in the past, sexxy parties have been given arbitrarily for any small milestone. now only post numbers ending in 00 will allow for the sexxy party.
4) The chefs will stay on the payment roster until further notice. it's hard to find a good chef.
5) Warbler's antics are a waste of company time and resources. although we welcome the occassional banter and battle from said person we must ask for his key cards. It's getting tiring fixing up his mess everytime he engages in a new battle. However he will be welcome to any party. except to watch the world cup.
6) smoking is permitted in my office. while the world cup is on, all work is suspended.
7) there will be a fully stocked refridgerator with YooHoo brand flavoured beverage. specifically for greencapt.
8) Nanner must find a different position within the company. Mascots are deemed redundant.
9) when you see this individual
please move out of the way. he has important plumber business to attend to.10) and finally, any and all rules are subject to change and final approval by YIYF.