Oh, ric, that is genius! Fake flirting with the annoying phone bitches! I've had more than my share of those too. Well, actually, I haven't had that much of a share, because, until recently, I could just say I wasn't an adult (the only time I ever bragged about kids not having the rights to order things over the phone), and they'd usually hang right up without saying anything, those rude assholes. But for a few years, I've sounded too old to get away with that anymore. The thing with me is that I'm usually too polite. I just have a hard time telling people to get off my back. I'm pretty passive-aggressive unless someone really hits that trigger (which my mom does all the time) that causes me to go berserk. I remember this lady with a very affected Asian accent called me one morning last summer. I don't even remember what she was offering. I told her I wasn't interested, but she just wouldn't let me go. I must have told her fifteen times I wasn't interested, but she acted like it didn't really matter, and it almost seemed like her boss was standing over her with a gun, and if she didn't make this sale, she'd be shot. That's the kind of fervor she had. And she seemed so nice and timid (aside from refusing to let me off the phone) that I just couldn't be mean to her, so I started getting roped into it. After about half an hour of me putting it off, she finally started to break down my spirit and my sanity. She kept on asking for my social security number, which I told her I didn't feel comfortable giving her. But she kept on pestering me for it, so I acted like I was about to give it to her, and then just quietly hung up. About fifteen seconds later, the phone rang again. I thought it was her again, and like some bad horror movie sequel, she just refused to leave me alone. So I ran into the bathroom, locked the door, and plugged my ears with my fingers while humming. I later found out it was my girlfriend, who made fun of me for being such a wuss in that situation. Since then, I've realized that politeness only gets you so far, and I've taken a firmer stance. But then again, I've never since encountered one as sneaky, dangerous, and pushy as her. I'm tempted to use your idea, ric, but I wouldn't use it if the person would just go away when I said I wasn't interested. I'd have to save it for someone pushy, like the one I just described.

I'm embarrassed to tell that story, because I can't believe what a pushover I was.