Hey, don't apologize- I too was much more impressed with this clip than with your opening (although you did some interesting stuff there). I'll tell you what I liked about that clip- I loved the way that you cut away from the scene, and you cut back to the Jedi being chopped down. This is more dramatically effective, and as mentioned, it makes it seem as though there was a fight BEFORE he started chopping down Jedi. Good idea! Also nice was of course your omission of most of Palpatine's faces and his ridiculous CG stunt. And I liked the way that Mace doesn't mince words any more. Obviously the music needs some work, but more specifically, I don't know about starting the force lightning offscreen. It doesn't seem quite as dramatic as seeing him actually do it. I'd also put in a few more close-ups of Anakin, especially a longer shot of Anakin looking in wonder at Palpatine's power. (See, in my Ep. II all of the force lightning is edited out. This is the first time we see it in the saga. I'm not sure if that would affect your cut, though).
The only other thing I'm not sure about is how Anakin watches a great deal of the saber battle. Now, I understand the reason you did this (because you used the Anakin landing sequence earlier so that you could cut away from the Palpatine confrontation. Now, you have no choice but to use a shot to break up the two halves of the Windu/Palpatine battle- otherwise you have a skip in the action. I'd still see if there was a way around that, though.
Say- the general idea of that clip was very good, though. I think the lack of emotion can be solved with an effective music cue and more shots of Anakin. I actually think I can use both ideas- I can do the dream as I'd envisioned, and then I can cut the sequence your way to imply that he is indeed revealing his true identity. I just recently found a shot perfect for the Ep. III dream, though, so I think that'll work. Perhaps I can use your cut as a base for mine when I get to it in a few months (obviously, there are some music things I'll do differently, as well as the Anakin dubbing, the purple saber rotoscoping, and etc.), but it seems like you also have ambition to make the prequels great. Welcome to the club, darkhelmet!
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OK, guys- I finally got around to writing the two Lama-Su scenes for Nanner Split to record. This was actually really fun (especially the second scene) because I could make him say anything that came into my head. Here's some of it:
Lama-Su: But I’m sure he would have been proud of the army we’ve built for him.
Kenobi: The army?
Lama-Su: You amuse me, Kenobi. (slow zoom). You came to inspect the clones, did you not? Your army of slaves?
Ominous motif begins. Close-up of Obi-Wan (realizing that something's really fishy here). Close-up of Lama-Su.
Kenobi: Yes ,yes (he decides to play along). Tell me, Prime Minister, when my master first contacted you, did he say who it was for?
Lama-Su: Of course he did. This army is for the Republic. (close-up of Kenobi).
Lama-Su: (laugh) Our noxious atmosphere must have dulled your senses on the way in, my friend. The sensation will soon pass away. Come, come. I will show you the clones at once.
Obi-Wan follows in silence.
You see, I'm able to develop his character however I want. It gets better in scene 2, as I'm able to talk about anything and everything- how clones aren't moral but they're doing it anyway, about how Fett was the last Mandalorian, about how Fett kept a natural son for himself and the mother is unknown. This is one of the most fun parts of doing this edit- being able to reveal all this character information that wasn't written in previously.
OK- here's the thing I need to figure out before I send him the lines. I've realized that since I'm dubbing Lama-Su, I've found a way through a couple of dialogue edits to actually change Jango Fett's name to whatever I want. I don't know why this didn't occur to me before, and I'm sure I'm not alone in thinking that "Jango" is kind of ridiculous. But what should his name be?
Jim Fett?
Mark Fett?
Robert Fett?
I'd just like a return to the normal OT type names, like Luke, Ben, and Han. I'm not so good with names, so I'd like some suggestions
-TM