At the same time I understand I should be grateful, however, since there are many who never get the chance to go this far. It's proving very hard for me to make the most of it. It's also hard to remember a lot of what I learn, so I sometimes wonder, 'is it worth it?' Life is so contrary. At the same time I understand I should be grateful, however, since there are many who never get the chance to go this far. It's proving very hard for me to make the most of it. It's also hard to remember a lot of what I learn, so I sometimes wonder, 'is it worth it?' Life is so contrary.