Lets take this further, what if after shooting and killing your family member, he escapes. Do you or do not want the police to go after him. Do want him to just walk around free for the rest of his life and never be punished for what he did? What if the police find him and he refuses to surrender without a fight. Should they let him go or use violence to take him into custody?
As for war. As I said before, unless you wish to be ruled by the likes of Hitler, war is somtimes necessary. Or are you going tell me that a man who kills 6 million Jews because he hates Jewish people shouldn't be stopped?
You're right when you say if both sides put their guns down, there would be no war. But, put yourself in the soldiers position, soldiers from the enemy country are charging at you and your comrades, are you going to bet your life, the lives of your fellow soldiers, your country, and your family that if you put your gun down, the enemy will too?
Nonviolence works if both sides agree to solve their problems nonviolently. But if only one side chooses nonviolence, the side that chooses violence will win. So unless you like to lose, you will have to choose violence.
And are you willing to give up to avoid violence? Your life? Your rights? Your way of life? Your religious beliefs? Your freedom? If the choice is to give up the things that I have meantioned or resort to violence what do you do? At what price nonviolence Jag?