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Alan Smithee

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I guess I should've figured that the "All Things Film Junkie" would be the first guy to reply to this thread.

http://i.imgur.com/7N84TM8.jpg

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How the hell did he get that label!?!

I still want "Pretentious Bastard".

<span class=“Italics”>MeBeJedi: Sadly, I believe the prequels are beyond repair.
<span class=“Bold”>JediRandy: They’re certainly beyond any repair you’re capable of making.</span></span>

<span class=“Italics”>MeBeJedi: You aren’t one of us.
<span class=“Bold”>Go-Mer-Tonic: I can’t say I find that very disappointing.</span></span>

<span class=“Italics”>JediRandy: I won’t suck as much as a fan edit.</span>

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hey! I'm one of the big movie geeks her dude!
"Who's scruffy-lookin'?" - Han Solo
"I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself." -sybeman
"You know, putting animals in the microwave is not a good idea. I had to learn that one the hard way." -seanwookie
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Originally posted by: MeBeJedi
How the hell did he get that label!?!

I still want "Pretentious Bastard".

Ask Jay nicely, and maybe you'll receive.

Princess Leia: I happen to like nice men.
Han Solo: I'm a nice man.

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And I want OTAKU PRIDE

The Alan Smithee alias for directors who have disowned their films is not used anymore.
“Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.” — Nazi Reich Marshal Hermann Goering
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If I ever became a director, you can be damn sure that at least one of my movies would use the Alan Smithee moniker just for the hell of it.

http://i.imgur.com/7N84TM8.jpg

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Here's 10 things you may not have known about Alan Smithee:

1. Alan Smithee was childhood friends with former Pennsylvania State Senator Budd Dwyer. They used to play cowboys and indians together. An attempt to re-enact one of their a play-sessions led to the infamous Budd Dwyer suicide in 1987.

2. Alan Smithee used the umbilical cord of his sixth son Alan Jr. VI (born from dancer/singer Iris Chacon) to play jump-rope in the hospital dorm. When later confronted on his strange behavior he used the same umbilical cord to garrote the delivery doctor, two nurses, six hospital patients and a potted plant before jumping out the window and suffering a broken leg upon hitting the pavement.

3. Alan Smithee voiced Beavis in the Mike Judge short cartoon "Frog Baseball" in 1992 by request of the animator. Smithee also animated the film in question, as well as six unreleased episodes of "Beavis & Butthead".

4. On August 23rd, 1964, Alan Smithee was reported to grow a full beard on a short bus trip from New York to Florida. This famous event is known to have inspired James Leo Herlihy in the writing of "Midnight Cowboy". The beard in question is known to have inspired Chuck Norris and, to a lesser extent, James Hetfield of Metallica.

5. Alan Smithee has an autographed Bible at home. The autograph is that of Alan Smithee.

6. Alan Smithee taught Mark Knopfler how to play guitar. The friendship of the two guitar-virtuosos was short-lived though, as Smithee, during a drunken binge, tossed Mark Knopfler's television set as well as his first guitar and one of his children out the window of their seven-story hotel room. They have not spoken since.

7. Alan Smithee invented Santa Claus by mistake one morning when he, having not shaven for some six hours, fell down the chimney of famed caricaturist Thomas Nast on January 30th, 1863.

8. Alan Smithee bench-pressed 600 lbs once. Having supposedly died from the effort, he mysteriously appeared on the set of "Catchfire" and directed it, disregarding the numerous claims of his death. Later that same evening, Denis Hopper suffered a near-fatal heart-attack. Found at the foot of his bed was a hankerchief with the initials "A.S.". It has been rumored to be left there by famed lounge-singer Arnold Schwarzenegger.

9. Alan Smithee guest-directed the shot from "Mean Streets" where Harvey Keitel points his finger at his girlfriend. The gunshot that can be heard during this event was caused by Alan Smithee who at the same instance shot a member of the catering personnel with his .357 revolver.

10. Alan Smithee once broke a coconut with a hammer.

http://i.imgur.com/7N84TM8.jpg

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Originally posted by: GundarkHunter
Originally posted by: MeBeJedi
How the hell did he get that label!?!

I still want "Pretentious Bastard".

Ask Jay nicely, and maybe you'll receive.


I want Bad Mother Fucker
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1. Alan Smithee was kicked out of the Church of Scientology for undisclosed reasons.

2. Alan Smithee is convinced that all red-heads are robots.

3. Alan Smithee was arrested in a Montevideo bath house while in the midst of a three-way with Argentinian film legends Francesca Fiori and Bruno Puntz-Jones.

4. Alan Smithee recieved a master's degree at the Bringham Younge University having written his thesis on the dwarfish languages of Middle Earth.

5. Alan Smithee only drinks Fair Trade coffee.

6. Alan Smithee kept kosher until the age of 17 when he discovered, to his horror, that he is not in fact jewish. He now makes it a point to eat lobster at least once a day.

7. Alan Smithee has a severe phobia of garden gnomes. After seeing the french film "Amelie", Smithee required psychiatric hospitalization.

8. Alan Smithee is obsessed with proper grammar and punctuation. The publication and success of the punctuation guide "Eats shoots and leaves" gave him more sexual satisfaction than any of the $10 000 hookers he routinely visits.

9. Alan Smithee once consumed a goose-down duvet.

10. Alan Smithee refuses to travel without his three-legged Basset Hound, Stumpy.

http://i.imgur.com/7N84TM8.jpg