I think the parallel action is effective in principle, it's just that the three strands are not equal in tension. The weakest is clearly Endor. Here's something I posted in MagnoliaFan's thread a while back, which might be more appropriate here:

originally posted Thu December 01, 2005 11:41 AM

MagFan,

long ago, before this forum, before there were prequels, I had a plan to re-edit RotJ (shock, horror, scandal). It never happened, as there was no DVD then and no access to 5.1 mixes. Now I know you are going to do all the movies eventually so I'd like to request for you to incorporate the main feature of my old plan: re-dub the Ewoks. Of course, judging by your prequels, you may well already be planning this. The idea wouldn't be to give them subs like your JarJar & Nemoidians, since I think it works that we don't know what they're saying, but just to change the tone of their characters. Okay, they look like teddy bears. Nothing can be done about that (CG wookiees?). But I think a lot of their silliness comes from the way they sound. If they had deeper, more guttural voices (think Samurai warriors in Kurosawa's films) they would be far less cute, and seem more serious, which would make their eventual victory over the imperial troops much more believable. This would be helped by removing their most comical antics like the guy who accidentally wraps his bolas around himself and so on. Just wanted to share this with you - I'm sure whatever you come up with will be great.