
Not this:

I mean, the new ones aren't even bloody small!! They're the size of an average car.
And £180 for a tyre? F**k that.
Still though, you sound like you're a man in need, so I'm willing to make a sacrifice to help you out and offer you a trade - My 1985 Honda Civic for your shitty Mini. I know I'm getting a bad deal, but a friend in need...