A couple had only been married for two weeks. The
husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town
and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll
be right back."
Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the
wife. "I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer." The
wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the
refrigerator and showed him 25 different ki! nds of beer, brands from 12
different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only
thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the
bar... you know... they have frozen glasses... "
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the
wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She
took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting
chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar
they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really
delicious... I won't be! long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out
5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets,
mushroom caps, and pork strips.
"But my sweet honey... at the bar.... you know there's swearing, dirty
words and! all that..."
"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?... "LISTEN UP
DICKHEAD! SIT DOWN, SHUT THE FUCK UP, DRINK YOUR GODDAMN BEER IN YOUR
FUCKING FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR FUCKING HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR
MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A FUCKING BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER...GOT IT,
ASSHOLE?"