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"Rise, Lord Vader!" - my vision of ROTS

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Hi guys! I'm lying in bed with a nasty stomach ache, light fever causes my thoughts to fly to an fro... Suddanly I started to think about SW, even though I promised myself to rest from it for a longer time (that's why I rarely visit this forum now). Again I re-thought my views on EIII - ROTS, and the surge of thoughts was so strong, that I need to share them with somebody.

This is not one of Rebel Scumb's scripts - I feel like [censored] today, so I'm writing in a hurry. I apologize for a rough style and misspelings.

I will not cover the whole movie here, but some of its most dramatic moments.

PLEASE NOTE: this thread is aimed for the die-hard original Trilogy fans like me. Easy-going Lucas' fans who blindly buy any product with STAR WARS logo on it "because it's Star Wars!" - please do not bash me. PT fans, who actually like PT because of conscious choice - you may or may not like my post. You've been warned

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So Padme arrives and talks to Anakin. When he spots Obi, who starts another lecture, he goes mad with jealousy. He tolds her that he sacrificed everything he believed in to save her, yet she "betrayed" him with Obi-Wan. He Force Chokes her like in the movie.

...and here we go, Obi fights Annie on some remote vulcanic planet. We need to change fight choreographer - stunt coordinator (or whaddyacallit), the combat sucked. Too much Far Eastern "show-off" (ya know, crouching tiger, hidden dragon), I want to promptly shoot such "fancy" fighter, just like Indiana did once I know that SW took a lot from Japanese and other Asian cultures (e.g. the word "Jedi" comes from "Sengoku Jidai" [sp?] ), I don't want to remove such elements from the movies (after all I love the kabuto style Vader's helmet etc., Imperial officers hats from IJNavy etc.), but as a European I want more "knightly" style, period. Use less lava in the background - d*mmit, this is not "Mortal Kombat" where you kill opponent using traps! Use more Force Throw, let them throw stuff at each other in anger. Make Anakin fight dirty near the end - remember Luke's not-so-fair-play kicks? also remember that Vader fist plays with his son using saber in one hand, but in the end he slashes it double-handed in anger?

Finally they fight near deep "pit" with lava on the very bottom, which has another "level" (catwalk?) below the top surrounding surface. Anakin uses his all skill and hatred, he kicks (possibly also wounds with saber?) Obi, who falls to the lower level of the pit. Obi's saber is thrown out of his hand. Annie decides to finish him (maybe Obi tried to speak to him for the last time?) and jumps down to that "catwalk" where Obi lies. Suddenly Obi uses the Force to grab his saber and dismembers Annie, who falls down to the lava. He may even try to grab him instinctively, reaching his hand as crying "Annie!" He sees that Annie's limbs have fallen into the lava. Obi realizes his friend is gone: "I loved you like a brother... may you find peace now... old friend...". The scene ends like in the movie: Obi takes Padme to safety, Palpie feels that his pupil is in danger. He finds him alive on the pit bottom - just like we saw Annie burning alive on the lava "lake" bank, climbing up with his metallic hand.

What do we get by that? = Obi doesn't leave his old friend for a certain death in incredible pain - in the real movie he should have killed him out of mercy In my version there's no "weak" Obi, not having the guts to finish the agony of his fav pupil.

The scene where he is "rescued" in the med center also needs fixing. PG-13 wouldn't probably allow for this, but I'd like to see more pain - the scene of donning the armor should be partially like a torture. Quick shots of medical instruments (blades, needles) being stuck in the charred flesh of Anakin, who is "revived" with electric shots. The mask shot was perfect - leave it as it is.
"Raise, Lord Vader" says slowly Palpie, enjoying every word. With his hand gesture the bed goes to vertical position. Vader breathes heavily (what we saw on the movie).

NOTE: after offing Mace, while "initiating" Annakin, Palpie could have only whispered his new name to him (we can guess it by his mouth motion) - this way "Darth Vader" would be uttered for the first time only when Annie is finally in his famous suit!

- Where... Where is she? --- says Vader with incertainty... fear maybe? His first word is uttered with difficulty
- Oh, I'm afraid your beloved one is no longer with us... you killed her. ---- says Palpie with feign sorrow ("I'm afraid the shield will be operational...")
- No... It cannot be... --- Vader slowly gets angry, fears the truth
- Search your feelings... you know that to be true --- Palpie repeats Vader's line from ESB
- (slowly) What've I... (gets angry) no! It's all your fault! You made me to do it! --- Vader looses control and stares at Palpie
- Oh, did I order you to choke her using the Force? ...You did it yourself! --- Palpie says that with irony, barely hiding his smile... evil b*stard
- No! ...Nnnooo! - shouts Vader. Contrary to what we get in the movie ("Nnnnooo! My kitten was hit by a car!") he cries that with anger ("I'm gonna kill you, you SOB!")
Vader forcibly frees himself from the binds and demolishes the room with the Force (much more intensively than in the movie) - he stares at Palpie, trying to Force choke him! (raised hand gesture). Palpie laughs with his evil creaky laugh He "silences" Vader with a "mild" Force Lightning. Vader cries in anguish (JEJ's "oouuahh!' from ESB ) momentarily stepping back and resting himself on the standing bed.
- (with hatred) You think that such youngster can take a Sith Master by himself? That armor won't help you for long... (seductively) if you want to live, I can teach you how to embrace the Dark Side, which will make you stronger... join me, it's the only way! --- said with evil smile and glowing eyes
Vader hestitates for a second, looking elsewhere... but then he nods his head (as if in resignation) and says in emotionless JEJ's voice: "Yes... Master...". (does he yeld to Emperor? is he obedient like a robot now? or maybe he... lies?)
- Good... Good! --- smiles content Palpie
Quick shot on Vader's hand, he clenches a fist in hopeless anger... (ie: if only I could get you, you old b*stard!). Slow fade-to-black (not an MTV cut like in the actual movie), with "Darth Vader's Death" motif (only last notes, which sound like a grim lullaby).


What do we get by this = Vader has reason to live - in the movie he destroyed all he believed in and later killed the person, for which he commited that crime, so why would he want to live anymore? Why would he listen to Palpie for so many years? Because Dark Side is cool? "I'm a bad*ss mofo"? Nonsense. In my version Vader has to listen to Palpie, because otherwise he may die from his wounds - and his secret plan is to take revenge and kill that old wizard When he learns he has a son, he resumes that plot "now I have an ally to overthrow the Emperor".
Makes sense?




Phew, I had to vent it from me, it was in my mind ever since I left the cinema after ROTS premiere
I saw the original theatrical release of the Old Trilogy on the big screen and I'm proud of it...
How did I accomplish that (considering my age) is my secret...
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Brillent post rrs, I LOVE IT. it is much much better then what actually happened, though i dont really have a problem with it asides from the NOOOOO, yeah great post. You're right on all your acounts and i agree with you 100%.


MAN why cant we have posts like that more often.
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Originally posted by: RRS-1980
Hi guys! I'm lying in bed with a nasty stomach ache, light fever causes my thoughts to fly to an fro... Suddanly I started to think about SW, even though I promised myself to rest from it for a longer time (that's why I rarely visit this forum now). Again I re-thought my views on EIII - ROTS, and the surge of thoughts was so strong, that I need to share them with somebody.

This is not one of Rebel Scumb's scripts - I feel like [censored] today, so I'm writing in a hurry. I apologize for a rough style and misspelings.

I will not cover the whole movie here, but some of its most dramatic moments.

PLEASE NOTE: this thread is aimed for the die-hard original Trilogy fans like me. Easy-going Lucas' fans who blindly buy any product with STAR WARS logo on it "because it's Star Wars!" - please do not bash me. PT fans, who actually like PT because of conscious choice - you may or may not like my post. You've been warned

-----------------------

So Padme arrives and talks to Anakin. When he spots Obi, who starts another lecture, he goes mad with jealousy. He tolds her that he sacrificed everything he believed in to save her, yet she "betrayed" him with Obi-Wan. He Force Chokes her like in the movie.

...and here we go, Obi fights Annie on some remote vulcanic planet. We need to change fight choreographer - stunt coordinator (or whaddyacallit), the combat sucked. Too much Far Eastern "show-off" (ya know, crouching tiger, hidden dragon), I want to promptly shoot such "fancy" fighter, just like Indiana did once I know that SW took a lot from Japanese and other Asian cultures (e.g. the word "Jedi" comes from "Sengoku Jidai" [sp?] ), I don't want to remove such elements from the movies (after all I love the kabuto style Vader's helmet etc., Imperial officers hats from IJNavy etc.), but as a European I want more "knightly" style, period. Use less lava in the background - d*mmit, this is not "Mortal Kombat" where you kill opponent using traps! Use more Force Throw, let them throw stuff at each other in anger. Make Anakin fight dirty near the end - remember Luke's not-so-fair-play kicks? also remember that Vader fist plays with his son using saber in one hand, but in the end he slashes it double-handed in anger?

Finally they fight near deep "pit" with lava on the very bottom, which has another "level" (catwalk?) below the top surrounding surface. Anakin uses his all skill and hatred, he kicks (possibly also wounds with saber?) Obi, who falls to the lower level of the pit. Obi's saber is thrown out of his hand. Annie decides to finish him (maybe Obi tried to speak to him for the last time?) and jumps down to that "catwalk" where Obi lies. Suddenly Obi uses the Force to grab his saber and dismembers Annie, who falls down to the lava. He may even try to grab him instinctively, reaching his hand as crying "Annie!" He sees that Annie's limbs have fallen into the lava. Obi realizes his friend is gone: "I loved you like a brother... may you find peace now... old friend...". The scene ends like in the movie: Obi takes Padme to safety, Palpie feels that his pupil is in danger. He finds him alive on the pit bottom - just like we saw Annie burning alive on the lava "lake" bank, climbing up with his metallic hand.

What do we get by that? = Obi doesn't leave his old friend for a certain death in incredible pain - in the real movie he should have killed him out of mercy In my version there's no "weak" Obi, not having the guts to finish the agony of his fav pupil.

The scene where he is "rescued" in the med center also needs fixing. PG-13 wouldn't probably allow for this, but I'd like to see more pain - the scene of donning the armor should be partially like a torture. Quick shots of medical instruments (blades, needles) being stuck in the charred flesh of Anakin, who is "revived" with electric shots. The mask shot was perfect - leave it as it is.
"Raise, Lord Vader" says slowly Palpie, enjoying every word. With his hand gesture the bed goes to vertical position. Vader breathes heavily (what we saw on the movie).

NOTE: after offing Mace, while "initiating" Annakin, Palpie could have only whispered his new name to him (we can guess it by his mouth motion) - this way "Darth Vader" would be uttered for the first time only when Annie is finally in his famous suit!

- Where... Where is she? --- says Vader with incertainty... fear maybe? His first word is uttered with difficulty
- Oh, I'm afraid your beloved one is no longer with us... you killed her. ---- says Palpie with feign sorrow ("I'm afraid the shield will be operational...")
- No... It cannot be... --- Vader slowly gets angry, fears the truth
- Search your feelings... you know that to be true --- Palpie repeats Vader's line from ESB
- (slowly) What've I... (gets angry) no! It's all your fault! You made me to do it! --- Vader looses control and stares at Palpie
- Oh, did I order you to choke her using the Force? ...You did it yourself! --- Palpie says that with irony, barely hiding his smile... evil b*stard
- No! ...Nnnooo! - shouts Vader. Contrary to what we get in the movie ("Nnnnooo! My kitten was hit by a car!") he cries that with anger ("I'm gonna kill you, you SOB!")
Vader forcibly frees himself from the binds and demolishes the room with the Force (much more intensively than in the movie) - he stares at Palpie, trying to Force choke him! (raised hand gesture). Palpie laughs with his evil creaky laugh He "silences" Vader with a "mild" Force Lightning. Vader cries in anguish (JEJ's "oouuahh!' from ESB ) momentarily stepping back and resting himself on the standing bed.
- (with hatred) You think that such youngster can take a Sith Master by himself? That armor won't help you for long... (seductively) if you want to live, I can teach you how to embrace the Dark Side, which will make you stronger... join me, it's the only way! --- said with evil smile and glowing eyes
Vader hestitates for a second, looking elsewhere... but then he nods his head (as if in resignation) and says in emotionless JEJ's voice: "Yes... Master...". (does he yeld to Emperor? is he obedient like a robot now? or maybe he... lies?)
- Good... Good! --- smiles content Palpie
Quick shot on Vader's hand, he clenches a fist in hopeless anger... (ie: if only I could get you, you old b*stard!). Slow fade-to-black (not an MTV cut like in the actual movie), with "Darth Vader's Death" motif (only last notes, which sound like a grim lullaby).


What do we get by this = Vader has reason to live - in the movie he destroyed all he believed in and later killed the person, for which he commited that crime, so why would he want to live anymore? Why would he listen to Palpie for so many years? Because Dark Side is cool? "I'm a bad*ss mofo"? Nonsense. In my version Vader has to listen to Palpie, because otherwise he may die from his wounds - and his secret plan is to take revenge and kill that old wizard When he learns he has a son, he resumes that plot "now I have an ally to overthrow the Emperor".
Makes sense?




Phew, I had to vent it from me, it was in my mind ever since I left the cinema after ROTS premiere


That was really really good
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it really was, hey RRS you know soemthing funny, i sent Jay a PM the other day voicing my concerns about the site, and in there i mentioned that some of my best memories here were those of Rebels scripts hahaha.
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Nice stuff RRS! Hopefully I'll be able to finish the little project I'm working on occasionally whenever I find the time. I might pm you a small peek of it. I'd be interested what a person with ideas that head in a similar direction thinks about what I've been working on. Who knows? Perhaps you'd even be interested to team up with me.
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I'm glad you like it, guys. I'm somewhat positively surprised, as I was hesitating to post it at all, given how few people share my "hardcore/old-school" views on Star Wars.

Originally posted by: Master Sifo-Dyas
I might pm you a small peek of it. I'd be interested what a person with ideas that head in a similar direction thinks about what I've been working on. Who knows? Perhaps you'd even be interested to team up with me.
Feel free to PM it to me - you're one of the few people on this forum who have similar views on Star Wars as me (or at least that's my impression).
I can share few comments with you, but I'm afraid I won't be able to join... reality is a bit harsh for me recently, so I have less time for hobbies, and I'm already deeply involved in my own big project (completely different subject - making add-ons for flight simulators) which takes all my available time, patience and energy.

Originally posted by: Shimraa
i sent Jay a PM the other day voicing my concerns about the site, and in there i mentioned that some of my best memories here were those of Rebels scripts hahaha.

I must admit I miss a bit that period on the forum - things changed, so I stepped away into the shadow...
I saw the original theatrical release of the Old Trilogy on the big screen and I'm proud of it...
How did I accomplish that (considering my age) is my secret...
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Brilliant. That raise some very good and poignant observations.

Why does Vader want to keep on living now that Padme (and for all he knows, his child) are dead? Didn't he say that he can't live without her? Why does he keep on living? To see the Death Star get built? Pfft. Whatever.

Why did he feel that Padme betrayed him? There was very, very little evidence to suggest that Anakin was jealous that Obi-Wan was moving in on his wife? Now that would have been a wonderful plot device. Maybe even walk in on Obi-Wan receiving a comforting hug from Padme and Anakin flies off the handle at that sight, spouting venom about "stealing his woman."

And that "Nooooo!!!" has got to go. That is easily recorded over. It sounds more like he got his mid-term paper back and only made a "C-" on it when he worked so hard for that "A+," rather than the anguished cries of a man who has LOST EVERYTHING.

Padme's death. 'Nuff said.

And the old shoe, "Why the hell does Leia remember, but Luke doesn't?"

All good points raised. I like your changes much more. Hell, any changes could be better. ROTS still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth today because of crap like that. At least TPM and AOTC was bland and inoffensive.
"I am altering the movies. Pray I don't alter them any further." -Darth Lucas
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I like the ideas you've put forward, but I don't know about your dialogue. Then again, I've rewritten the screenplays to Episodes I and II and I'm not sure I like my own dialogue. It's difficult to write.

I'll be finishing my rewrite of Episode III when I get home from the US (I'm in Seattle now and I live in Australia).

The idea that I like the most is Anakin having to harness the dark side of the Force to sustain himself. Although, I would have done it all in a slightly different order.

- Obi-wan dismembers/mortally wounds Anakin on the volcanic planet.
- Obi-wan returns to his ship (I don't know if it works to have Padme there or not), is alerted to approaching vessels.
- Obi-wan leaves to evade ships that he thinks are looking for him. Obi-wan escapes.
- Palpatine arrives in one of said ships. He finds Anakin, dying.
- He tells Anakin that he must harness his anger and hatred to sustain himself.
- Anakin sustains himself with his dark power.
- Palpatine takes Anakin somewhere where they can operate on him.
- Anakin is given the suit and a name. Darth Vader. (that whispering thing was a good idea, I think).
- His new dependence on the dark side effectively kills his old self.

Or perhaps Vader's name doesn't need to be said at all, and it can be merely implied that he adopts the name Vader over time. But I do think that Anakin probably should have became Vader upon being roboticised to give weight to Obi-wan's claims that he is more machine than man, twisted and evil. Obi-wan kind of implies there that his dark power is at least partly attributable to his inhumanity (although, in a way, Luke disproves this in turning him back). But one thing's for sure, Obi-wan's OT monologue left no room for a Darth Vader that wasn't robotic.
MTFBWY. Always.

http://www.myspace.com/red_ajax
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First off, I just want to say that it is a great post, and I enjoyed reading it. Great ideas, and most of them are leagues ahead of the movie. But I'm not entirely in agreement, and as this is a message board, I'm sure you won't mind me spouting off some of my opinions. Right? Please? Debate's good.

My first point is, I was ecstatic in the movie that Anakin was renamed Vader before he adopted the suit. That's the way I'd always read it, and I'd always imagined the homicidal adventures that the original Vader had in his early days. But a lot of the fans found Vader to be so synonomous with the suit that I figured George would end up retconning it and not naming him Vader until the suit was on. The advertising did this, though, with lines like, "Anakin vs. Obi-Wan." Pfft. Screw that. So that was probably my favorite part of the whole movie when Palpatine named him Darth Vader, simply because that was the one thing I really expected them to screw up. Of course, they ended up screwing up so many other things that I hadn't expected...

The only other problem I had was that I thought, in the movie, Vader never really came to that point where he embraced the Dark Side and truly became, well, for lack of a better term, evil. And I agree that the logic in the movie about Vader still serving Palpatine at the end was implausible. In my dream version, when Vader reawakened in the suit, he wouldn't give a crap about Padme. He's moved on. There's the tragedy. If you're going to keep the motive that he did all this for love (which I still find a bit dubious), have the irony be that, at the end, he hates her. He feels, like he did on Mustafar, that she betrayed him. Betrayed him for Obi-Wan, betrayed the Republic, whatever. So, once he comes to that, the only thing he has is his power, which he embraces. The Dark Side is his love, as corny as that sounds. He shouldn't still be whining about Padme. That was one of my hugest cringe moments was the first thing he asks when he wakes up is if she's safe. Be a badass! If he wasn't before (since this hypothesis is keeping in line with the official version and/or yours as much as possible deviating only where I feel necessary... if it were truly my own vision, it would simply be the greed and lust for power (like Obi-Wan claims, but I wasn't convinced) that caused him to abandon what he previously held dear), he should now be a loyal servant. And in that case, there's one deleted scene that would work well in this version: the one where the future leaders of the Rebellion meet with Palpatine, and when they leave, Palpatine subtly suggests to Anakin that he can't trust Padme. And now he should fully have convinced Vader that Padme betrayed him, not that he killed her.

Phew. Okay, that was fun. Thanks for starting me up.

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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Gaffer Tape - no problem, I'm not interpreting that as if you tried to argue with me

You made some valid points. I must say that I used "Vader missing Padme" because I saw that on screen - subconsciously I borrowed that from the movie, without letting my imagination to rewrite the story from the scratch.
Vader hating everything, including Padme for her "betrayal" should fit that character, too. However the latter SW movies tried to portray Vader not as 1-dimensional character as Palpatine (who could sing that retro song: "I'm such a cold bastard and I feel good with that, no doubt!", pure evil), as "there's good in him". So in my version Vader wants revenge on Palpatine - he's not just "power crazy", wanting to become "number one" because it's cool. Revenge for what? For loosing everything. This goal isn't against his way to the Dark Side - after all, he's fueled by hatred - even if it's hate to an evil person such as Palpatine is. This goal still isn't against his way to power - kill the old guy and get the whole Empire for yourself, to make up for what you lost. Makes sense?

About Annakin to Vader transformation - again my imagination followed what I saw in the movie, this time it was Obi-Wan. Kenobi's words give a feeling that Vader's inhuman behavior/morality is due to the fact that he's a cyborg now. So I imagined that his final step into the Dark Side (which includes getting new name) occurred when he was "transformed into machine". It has such "poetic" meaning: machines have no feelings, no mercy, no remorse. I even assumed - before I saw ROTS - that Vader will be instrumental in murdering the last Jedi Knights, i.e. he will personally slice the last most powerful Masters with his lightsaber (perhaps with a little help of Palpie in the hardest cases). I wanted to see Vader fighting in that armor, showing his superior powers to his former brethren. That was said before: "he helped the Emperor to track and kill the last Jedi". We saw him killing the Younglings - as far as condemnable is this evil deed of killing children (ie. requires you to be a real SOB), this is not a challenge in terms of using saber/Force in fight. Give this man some worthy opponent, some real challenge, not some dirty but "easy" job!

What do we get by this? - the Jedi would finally witness (on their own skins) how mighty is the Chosen One - and we could see it, too!
In the movie we only saw his evil side - not skill/power itself. We could argue that he demostrated a part of his prowess during the fight with Obi-Wan, but still...
I saw the original theatrical release of the Old Trilogy on the big screen and I'm proud of it...
How did I accomplish that (considering my age) is my secret...
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Why would Obi-Wan kill Anakin out of mercy? That doesn't make sense. As the movie states, he was like a brother to him. Obi-Wan would never, ever, willingly kill Anakin. As far as Obi-Wan knew, Anakin would die right then and there in a matter of seconds. It was only by luck/Force that Palpatine found him alive in time.

As for the Vader "NOOOO...", yeah, it wasn't done well. They should rerecord the ADR for that scene. And a minor addition...have Vader break free, and then fall to his knees, unable to control his legs yet, and THEN scream.

Would work better.

But ultimately, if they'd just release the whole Anakin/Obi-Wan fight, I'll be happy.

And Nick Gillard does not suck. He breathed new life into the fighting.
Which is the more foolish, the fool (the OT) or the fool who follows (the PT)?

"Stay back, or Mr...Fett gets it!"