Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures of the ten most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
"Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him."
Little Johnny then asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"
Little Johnny's Equine Education
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father, watching as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump, and chest.
After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?"
His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy."
Looking worried, Johnny said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom!"
Little Johnny's Report Card
Little Johnny's father said, "let me see your report card."
Johnny replied, "I don't have it."
"Why not?" His father asked.
"My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
Little Johnny Names The Lakes
Teachers never give up, and neither does Little Johnny. She asks him, "Can you name the Great Lakes?"
You know Johnny, always fast with an answer, pipes up with, "I don't need to. They've already been named."
Little Johnny Learns Proper Grammar
During a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said.
"Excellent, Michael!"
Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny. "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, just #$&#*&^# beautiful!"
Johnny's Math Lesson
The arithmetic teacher had written 10.9 on the blackboard and had then rubbed out the decimal point to show the effect of multiplying this number by ten.
"Johnny," the teacher asked, "where is the decimal point now?"
"On the eraser!" came back the quick reply.