This is the scene where we meet Anakin. I want it to contain more drama between Anakin and Padme. One thing is to make their interaction more jagged -- less understanding politeness. Another is to introduce a trick that Anakin can use: he "Force talks" to Padme when he first speaks to her. She is impressed, but doesn't know what to make of it, and being with a couple Jedi -- she's not as freaked out by it as one of us would be, and I think her reaction looks appropriate. Suprised, impressed, interested, but confused and ultimately more concerned with other things.
Anyway, here goes. I think it works better with a longer build up of Padme and Jar Jar getting the lay of the land before Anakin jumps in to talk.
INT. WATTO'S GARAGE
Watto hums the Cantina theme from ANH -- the door "pings" and Qui Gonn enters, asking for J-Type parts. -- keep everything up to Q telling JJ not to touch anything -- then cut JJ's tongue gag. (a la "BotF")
Padme looks around -- use the shot where Anakin says "Are you an angel" -- but CUT this line. Cut off the shot before Anakin's lip flap becomes too noticable. Leave the shot with out dialogue -- she's looking around, lost, interested...
CUT TO: JJ inspecting the junk (the "handheld" shot -- probably the best Jar Jar effects shot in the movie)
Then to the 2 shot of Padme and Anakin watching JJ
Then JJ leans in and turns on a droid -- it runs around.
Back to Anakin and Padme "Hey, hit the nose!"
JJ catches the droid "what?"
Back to Anakin "Hit the nose."
JJ does it and the droid folds up.
CUT TO: Close up of Anakin -- looking serious, staring at Padme (for this, use the last part of the shot where he says "I'm a person and my name is Anakin" -- he's staring hard at Padme). His voice comes over the shot -- "Force talking" accompanied by appropriate harp/Force music cue
Anakin (V.O.) "Are you..."
Padme turns to Anakin in shock -- "...an angel?" She stares and answers: "What?"
Cut to Anakin: "An angel, I hear the deep space pilots talk about them. ..."
CUT TO Padme's awed reaction: "... They're the most beautiful creatures in the universe."
CUT TO Reverse angle; Padme says "How do you know so much."
He answers her. Does his best acting in the movie. Use this shot all the way up to Anakin saying "mm-hmm. All my life." Padme's confused -- he's a pilot? But...
CUT TO: Padme's skeptical close up: "You're a slave?"
CUT TO: Anakin: "I'm a person, and my name is Anakin!"
Whoa. Easy there-- but before we get any calming down, we...
CUT TO: Qui Gonn dealing with Watto. Use the entire scene as is -- except the last shot is the close up of him pretending to smile to Watto -- no need to see him walking toward the shop again.
CUT TO: Back to Anakin "...I wouldn't have lasted so long anyway, if I wasn't so good at building things." He's calmed down. Q enters. Etc. Use the whole scene -- except cut the "Yippee!" We'll adjust Watto's dialogue to be meaner, a la BotF.
Maybe cut the JJ "double spin" as he leaves -- but everything else is good (after we adjust the music -- InfoDroid).
More later. Thoughts?