A noble idea, but futile when it comes down to it. It's impossible to remove in every shot, and Obi-Wan's will br prominent in Episode I as well. So I would say don't concern yourself too much with this.
I will avoid doing this if the framing suffers at all. It's just an image thing. Can you picture Luke or Han Solo with a ponytail? It's a personal distraction to me to be reminded of this in every shot, and in some cases it's quite easy to crop it out.
Conference Room Scene Suggestion:
(This is a bit different from yours. Notice Padme does not ask "Do you have any idea who's behind this attack," because Mace's answer would be total BS. Don't ask, don't tell.)
EXT. Chancellor's office - Day
INT. Chancellor's office - Continuous
Ki-Adi-Mundi: He is a political idealist, not a murderer.
Mace: You know Dooku was once a jedi. He couldn't assassinate anyone.
Palpatine: But more and more star systems are joining the seperatists. I don't know how much longer I can hold off...
Palpatine: ...I don't know how much longer I can...
Mace: If they do break away...
Palpatine: My negotiations will not fail.
Mace: If they do, you must realize that there aren't enough Jedi to protect the Republic. We're keepers of the peace not soldiers.
Palpatine: Master Yoda, do you really think it will come to war?
Yoda: The dark side clouds everything. Impossible to see, the future is.
Rodian: The loyalist committee has arrived, Chancellor. They await your convenience.
Palpatine: Send them in.
Yoda: Senator Amidala. In grave danger, you are.
Palpatine: Master Jedi, may I suggest the senator be placed under the protection of your graces.
Padme: If I may comment, I don't believe the situation...
Palpatine:...is that serious? Oh but I do [your majesty].
(Rest of scene as you laid out).
Very good tweaks to this- this is in my script now.
Deleting the elevator scene is excellent. That of course brings us to the character of Jar-Jar. I don't think any of us have a clear idea of what we want to do with his character at this point.
That's the whole issue- Jar-Jar in SOTDS is really dependent on what is possible for Ep. I. That's why I'm so happy and thrilled that InfoDroid is doing Episode I at the same time so that everything works continuity-wise.
We've already discussed the Ceti Alpha V Eel. It's a good concept, but if it won't blend in seemlessly I say we're best without it.
I have no problem with posting my revised version so that you can see if it is indeed seamless. I guess the issue is that it doesn't move as smoothly in the close-up as in all the other (CG) shots.
If at all possible I'd really like to include "I've heard this lesson before," "You haven't learned anything Anakin."
So would I. However, I'll have to find a way to extract Obi-Wan's line from the trailer-without the background music. Anakin obviously isn't an issue. But if worst comes to worst, I could always go with the extremely short "Next time, try not to lose it." "I try, master." After all, they're trying to catch the assassin, not bicker in front of the club.
I see no problem with Zam's reference to "bounty hunter" and think it should remain. Those of Jango's profession are referred to as such in ESB.
OK- this was never a personal problem for me, but I did it after reading this complaint on the "top _ reasons to hate Ep. II" list.
Missing Kamino Scene Suggestion:
(Entire library scene)
Jocosta Nu: If an item does not appear in our records, it does not exist!
She walks off, Obi-Wan stares at computer.
Wide shot of Obi-Wan sitting at computer, Yoda (V.O.): The data must have been erased.
CUT to end of Younglings scene, continuing conversation.
Obi-Wan: But Master Yoda who could have erased information from the archives? That's impossible, isn't it?
Yoda: Dangerous and disturbing this puzzle is. Only a Jedi could have erased those files. But who and why, harder to answer. Meditate on this, I will. May the Force be with you.
(I don't see why you altered the end dialogue the way you did. The only problem I could see would be "only a Jedi..." but we're inferring it's Dooku so that won't be a problem. Also w/out that "who and why" don't make any sense. So I say leave the dialogue there as-is).
Good ideas- the only thing I have reservations about is using too much of the dialogue overlap from one scene to another. It seems like a more modern technique. The removal of the files was another "Top _ reasons to hate Ep. II" item. His complaint was that Yoda puts this info out without explaining why it would take a Jedi to erase the files. Why not just a good computer hacker? I don't really care one way or the other.
Everthing regarding the Coruscant chase sounds great. I look forward to your music choices as well.
Thank you- I'll have a lot more to say about the chase later on...
I still think replacing "Sypho-Dias" with "Qui-Gon" would be a neat way to do things if appropriate readings by McGregor could be found. Then at the end of the film it could be inferred that Dooku ordered the clones in his former apprentice's name. Too complicated? Maybe. But much more intriguing than the current strategy.
Especially since Lama-Su is being redone anyway. That's very interesting. It makes a little less sense, but it is definitely making more sense. Speaking of Lama-Su, I was browsing through that "Master Edition" website and actually found some very good ideas for Lama-Su dialogue. I've used the basic ideas...
Lama-Su: This army is for the Republic. Master Syfo-Dyas/Qui-Gon has informed us of everything, Master Kenobi, so there is no need for discretion.
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Lama-Su: Oh, we keep him here. We required new samples of blood for the cloning. As Fett is one of the last remaining Mandalorians in the galaxy, he was an ideal host.
Obi-Wan: Curious.
Lama-Su: Yes...he has extraordinary physical strength and stamina, even for a Madalorian. A wise choice for the operation.
Soon, I will have finalized the dialogue and Nanner Split can begin the ADR.
Yes, cut the hair-combing scene in III and utilize the dialogue for the balcony/fireplace scene.
You mean the music? Absolutely.
Nute Gunray: we need to establish what exactly we're doing with this character. Is he going to die in I? I'm still not convinced of the logistics of that. That will obviously have a major impact on where we go in II with either him or his brother Carl.
I'm not sure. I have to say that if it would work, the idea of killing him off in I and his brother trying to avenge him in II/III is very interesting, particularly since I've cut the scene with Queen Jamilla in SOTDS. But I'll leave this to InfoDroid- it won't affect me as much one way or the other.
Voice of Qui-Gon: The repeated clip of "Anakin!" is very obvious. Either plug in a different, more subdued reading in the place on the fist one, or just cut it down to one "Anakin!" As for the "No!", in Narnia the Beaver yells "No!" and although it's not Neeson I couldn't help but think how much it sounded like him. That's the best source for an alternate "No!" here I've heard. It would be a shame to have to wait until an official DVD to utilixe it or any of the other great dialogue Neeson has as Aslan...
Unfortunately, unless there's no music or other extra noise on the track at that time, we probably wouldn't have access to a center speaker track from the 5.1 until the DVD.
I think the order of Padme's family scene should be: Arrival, Dinner, Kitchen, Room. Maybe even delete the room scene all together. Portman's delivery is especially flat there, and there's no real appeal to the scene. The "you die if you're unable to adapt" message of course, but still I think it might be best if it was jettisoned. Also putting it before the dinner scene makes little sense as that's when they first talk to the family (at dinner). Surely they would have done so previously on the way to her room. I hope I'm making sense.
That does make sense. I actually never loved this scene anyway- it seems very forced. I can do my best with that in the ADR, but this is also going to be cut down a bit because we cut to the dinner scene right afterwards. But I do think if it's included at all, it should come before the dinner scene.
Thank you very much, CC! That was a great help and much appreciated.
The elevator scene is a tough one.
I personally don't have a problem with it, in fact I thought it was one of the better scenes between Ewan and Hayden. We don't see much of their "Friendship" and this scene really tries and I think suceeds in letting us know they are in fact friends. By cutting this, what other scenes really show this -"and he was a good friend". Everything else is pretty much teacher and student.
I agree. I also know about the false beard added when this was filmed in post. I realize why it was filmed (that's the tough part); to establish Obi-Wan and Anakin as having a good relationship. However, in thinking about it, I remembered that a main point of this movie was that Anakin is irritated at Obi-Wan from the very beginning. He won't let Anakin go back to Tatooine ever again. He knows his mother is in pain and this irritates him. Therefore, the humour and the "buddies" tone doesn't really work anymore with the new scenario. Also, I used one of Obi-Wan's lines from that scene in the following scene that I am keeping.
Thank you though! I'd love to hear more from you...
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I just want to say how floored I still am that InfoDroid has audio dub tracks for all of the Nemoidians already! I feel badly because I'm not keeping up with his insansely wonderful pace. But things are moving. One of the greatest things I've discovered is that I have the capability not only to do zooms at any speed on a static image, but on moving video as well. This is almost as good as directing the movie. I can redo the compositions however I'd like, zoom in or zoom out for dramatic effect, alter the lighting and the colors...it's absolutely wonderful. When I started, I had no idea that I'd be able to do this type of thing so easily and with so much detail.
Also, I'm experimenting with a bit of compositing chroma-key work...and it may be possible to make the "Anakin/Padme receive message on Tatooine scene" into a sunset scene by replacing the blue sky and adjusting the colors appropriately. I'll keep you posted on that as well...
And finally, work is still continuing on the Coruscant sequence of scenes. Color work, music work, and sound effect work. Here's a little example:
I have also made a fascinating (to me, anyway) change to the scene, which as always began as an experiment. When I got done, I had...
Anakin: If you'll pardon me...
Anakin jumps onto Zam's speeder below. No free fall. He zooms into the distance.
Obi-Wan: I hate it when he does this.
Anakin pulls out his saber immediately, getting a grip on the handle. CUT to Zam, who looks up in fear and shrieks! (my sped up female Wilhelm scream). I love this because this is a classic thing where you don't know what she's frightened about until you see the next shot. Anakin ignites the saber and stabs it into the cockpit, as the music erupts. We hear the saber, the sparks, and some more fainting screaming as well.
I changed this for many reasons. One is because I felt like we were losing momentum and dragging things out too much with all the scrambling on the ship. Second, because even with the color changes, the CG still looked incredibly bad, which is unusual. Thirdly, because this is the first time we see Anakin in action against a set foe. Particularly, the person that’s trying to kill Padme. The one that Anakin desperately wants to kill. So he says, “Pardon me,” jumps onto her ship, pulls out his saber, and shatters the cockpit as she screams. Absolutely no mercy or fooling around. Watching it all with the music, it really feels like classic SW. You don’t mess around with the future Darth Vader.
I can't wait until I'm finally done with this. One big problem has been that what started out as a slightly smaller project has extended into a huge reworking of every aspect of the film. It's incredibly time-consuming, and I only hope that mine will be finished in as timely a manner as Ep. I. But once it's done and viewed alongside InfoDroid's Ep. I, I honestly think that fans will be slack-jawed watching these for the first time. Maybe we could even get Lucas or McCallum to watch! They watched the Phantom Edit, after all.
I will post some video clips as soon as I get to a PC with high-speed Internet. Until then!
-TM