I really enjoyed this edit. The narrative flows much better in a movie format. While the TV show had some great moments, the constant intercutting and breaks between episodes fragmented the narrative. The way you have stitched these moments together into longer scenes works much better here. Also, I thought the reptilian voice for Daki worked well, it definitely made him feel more alien.

Some points I noticed:

In the title crawl, I would capitalise “JEDI ORDER” in the first paragraph
Consider cutting the first scene of Devon stealing and being arrested? The sequence is clumsy, and makes her seem incompetent even for a padawan. It should be fine to introduce her character after her arrest at the police precinct
The cut to Daki on 24.36 is too abrupt; the transition might be less jarring if some of the chase sequence was retained? I also miss the scene with Daki here
Consider adding a wipe transition on the cut at 27.40? I feel that more wipe transitions could be added throughout the film in general
I wonder if Maul’s line at 45.00 “you did not simply think I would let you walk out of here?” could be cut? Clearly he’s trying to goad Devon, but he is also just going to let her leave at the end of the scene, so I find this line of dialogue contradictory and confusing for his character
Possible abrupt audio cut at 48.55?
I miss a few minor scenes from the show: the racket ball game, Pikes on Obi-Diah, the scene with Rylee’s mother, and Leena’s death scene; though I’d like to see these scenes restored, I understand wanting to cut them for brevity, and the narrative does flow well without them
The overlapping audio on the imperial arrival (1.01.50) feels a bit too chaotic and loud to me
I find Maul’s vacillation on whether to fight Devon or let her go frustrating and inconsistent; I wonder if their brief duel at 1.35.00 could be trimmed or cut?
The action sequence from episode 7 (the Mandalorian subplot; approximately 1.40.00 in your edit) seems inconsequential to the overall plot, and could be cut entirely? Personally, I don’t find a fight between three characters who die in other Filoni TV shows very compelling… I suppose this scene shows Maul’s Mandalorians failing to escape, but I feel that this is sufficiently explained when they meet Lawson again later on
Consider adding a fade in from black on the new shot at 1.53.50. I’m not sure about having a hard cut after a fade to black
Audio volume seems to increase substantially at 2.05.45 and then drop at 2.07.10?
I feel like Vader being unable to kill Devon at 2.25.00 could be cut? It would make more sense if Vader was still on the bridge; stories in this era (like Jedi Fallen Order and Kenobi) rely too much on dropping things on Vader to prevent him killing all the main characters

Hopefully some of these points are helpful! Overall the edit was fantastic and a great improvement over the fragmented structure of the TV show.