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The legendary "Starkiller Ranch" Thread — Page 21

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Not a lot, but here's the next snippet of script --

CUT TO:

INT COCKPIT
Seeing the same Tatooine matte painting through the windshield
Qui Gonn instructs them to land near outskirts NOT

CHANGE: Qui Gonn dialogue replace: "Space ports like this one are havens for people who don't wish to be found." Use instead of "land near the outskirts."

EXT. TATOOINE
The ship lands

INT. QUEEN"S THRONE ROOM
(It will take good dialogue mixing to make this scene work, but it will save us so much dead weight and activate a pretty dead scene, check it out Jedi, Artoo and Panaka stand before Queen. (I know the R2 damage has already been repaired, so let's not see him as much as possible) Use master shot first, but instead of hearing the Queen talk, we hear Qui Gonn dialogue as if his report is in progress--

"...Tatooine, [cut] Your highness. It's..."

Med shot of Qui GOnn: "...in a system far beyond the reach of the Trade Federation."

On Queen, her placid reaction: "Padme" she says. Padme crosses out from behind her...

Close on Qui Gonn, observing silently

On Queen: "Continue, Captain." Panaka turns to Qui Gonn : "Her highness...

On Panaka (shot as he says "I do not agree..." etc. sync as well as possible): "...commands you to take her handmaiden with you." [ Cut away when the non-sync gets too obvious]

Back to Master using this angle to cover the rest of Panaka's dialogue as he finishes

Close on Qui Gonn (from when he says "trust me") his reaction is not defiant, but not happy -- "This is not a good idea..." he says. Try it a couple different ways to get the most resigned, but pessimistic reaction on his face. CUT TO (eliminate wipe)

INT. SHIP
Qui Gonn passes Obi Wan working on the hyperdrive. Use scene as is -- a disturbance in the Force. No communications. QG leaves and we a NEW THEME begins to play as we WIPE TO

EXT. TATOOINE

...It's the "TATOOINE THEME" for Ep 1. InfoDroid, give us good Tatooine music like the droid hike in ANH -- maybe the same theme -- as this whole sequence all the way into Watto's shop is without dialogue and played for musical intro to Tatooine.

Crop all shots so we can't see the city in the distance.

Long Shot of QG, JJ, and R2

Med shot of same as they turn, reacting to someone behind them

Long shot of Panaka leading Padme -- crop out the ship behind them

CU Shot of Qui Gonn's face emoting "this is not a good idea"

Med Shot of QG starting to walk again and Padme following as Panaka stays (crop out ship again)

Long shot of QG, JJ, P and R2 walking toward distance (crop out city)

Dissolve to same shot cropped different: this time shot is jus the horizon with the city, no figures walking in the foreground. WIPE TO

QG leading group into town -- up to a point where two figures cross dramatically in the foreground (right before JJ steps in dog doo) -- CUT To

QG et al walking straight toward camera, QG stops before us and looks screen left. CUT to

The flipped/reversed second half of this shot (minus a little movement at the head) so that QG leads the group screen left toward some buildings -- CUT TO

The Long Shot rising second half of the "walking into town shot" -- picking up where it feels natural in terms of how close JJ is to the troup. We pull up and back, seeing the whole city swallow them -- CUT TO

INT. WATTO'S GARAGE

Watto hums the Cantina theme from ANH -- the door "pings" and Qui Gonn enters...

A more adventerous intro to Mos Espa -- more majestic, especially if you imagine that haunting theme from ANH -- Is there a good reason we can't use the same music?

Anyway -- that's all for now. More soon.

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First of all, I want to say that I love this. It's going to be difficult, but it's really good.

Secondly, I think we should definitely use the droid hike music from ANH. Have you thought about cutting or wiping from the ship scene to some desert documentary footage? A few sweeping shots of the arid dunes, then show our friends walking? Just an idea. I have a few documentaries on DVD that may provide the right kind of footage for this. Might open it up a little, give it a more classic feel. As long as it matches.

Haha... I can't beleive we're this deep into the movie already!


--InfoDroid

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Maybe for ANH, instead of the documentary footage, we could use the SE footage of Banthas roaming the desert of Tatooine from ROTJ. You know, it's during the scene where Jabba and co. are traveling toi the pit of carcoon.
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Very nice addition to the script. It also made me realized how clustered that whole sequence was in the original cut, we didn't need all of that exposition on getting out of the ship and going somewhere to fix the hyperdrive. With the right music added, this will finally stand out as a neat entry in the mos espa, something that surprised me the first time I saw it by being non-chalant. I think the "Droid wandering" music from ANH and the "enter mos eisley" from ANH would be obvious choices , however......wouldn't it be a little copy and paiste? Meaning, wouldn't it seem to be imitating ANH too much? I'm all for the extra shots of spanning dunes however, the bantha's from the ROTJ SE could work, but you only have soo much to work with there before the sail barge comes flying in. I'm for putting in "droid wandering" track for the characters approaching.....but I think we should keep the mos eisly theme for mos eisly only. Perhaps a nice , warming "skywalker theme" considering that this is the moment we are about to meet the chosen one.

By the way, I know you guys are going for titling this Star Wars. Although I understand your reasoning for it, I don't think that it makes a whole lot of sense when we are purposefully making this Pt. 1 of a saga. It's almost as if trying to fool people into thinking it was the first one to come out, and then all the sequels came after it. I dont know.........i'm a fan of Star wars episode one: The Chosen One. It's simple and entirely effective. I can't believe that you are coming up with such interesting shots Mthasslet, this is a very good cut so far. I'm getting nervous as we get to the darth maul scenes.........i'm not quite on the Maul=Grevious band wagon. I know you guys have already decided to go forward with it, but i'm having a hard time putting the characters together, no matter what the dialouge. But anyway, good luck with the next update!

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Originally posted by: darthpreston

By the way, I know you guys are going for titling this Star Wars. Although I understand your reasoning for it, I don't think that it makes a whole lot of sense when we are purposefully making this Pt. 1 of a saga. It's almost as if trying to fool people into thinking it was the first one to come out, and then all the sequels came after it. I dont know.........i'm a fan of Star wars episode one: The Chosen One. It's simple and entirely effective.


I agree. No way should we call any of them that. It would make it seems as if all of the other films were simply afterthoughts, and were sequels in the usual use of the word.
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seems as if lucas made the prequels so poorly just so these fan edits could exist
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Why would he do that? There is no money involved, from what I can see.
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By the way, I know you guys are going for titling this Star Wars. Although I understand your reasoning for it, I don't think that it makes a whole lot of sense when we are purposefully making this Pt. 1 of a saga. It's almost as if trying to fool people into thinking it was the first one to come out, and then all the sequels came after it.

Actually, my favorite title for Episode I was the one that MagnoliaFan took: Balance of the Force. But this presented two problems: Confusion with MF's "Balance", and also the fact that we now have extreme redundancy in the titles:

Balance of the Force
Shroud of the Dark Side
Revenge of the Sith

Great idea regarding using footage from other films (Lawrence of Arabia, maybe?) as establishing shots of the desert. That was my original intention anyway. And I love this new script so far, particularly the last bit. When I get time, I'll analyze it and give you more in-depth thoughts and my ideas...

Episode II: Shroud of the Dark Side

Emperor Jar-Jar
“Back when we made Star Wars, we just couldn’t make Palpatine as evil as we intended. Now, thanks to the miracles of technology, it is finally possible. Finally, I’ve created the movies that I originally imagined.” -George Lucas on the 2007 Extra Extra Special HD-DVD Edition

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Hey Gang,

Although "The Chosen One" is a title which is decidedly on-topic for the events that take place in the film, it's not only redundant (Episode One: The Chosen One), but it also seems very dull to me. Doesn't sound like a classic title, nor is it a title which would compel me to watch the movie. It's mysterious, but not very exciting.

To find a title, first we have to analyze the other titles it will be in the company of. ALL of the titles refer to the broader-scale galactic events we see unfold in the film. Shroud of the Dark Side, Revenge of the Sith, A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi. Really read these titles and compare them with any ideas you have. We would like to avoid "of the", I do know that was something we decided earlier. So, if any of you have any BRILLIANT, well-thought-out ideas, please let us know.

Personally, I like "Star Wars: The Battle Begins". I'm not saying "it's the one!" But that one just appeals to my personal taste. I must admit, although the novelty of being title-less is intriguing to me, I'm also a little bothered by it for the reasons previously pointed out by darthpreston.

I want to make it clear, however, that by commenting on this, I'm not necessarily fostering the idea that now "we need a title", but at this early stage, I feel it shouldn't be a matter that has been completely taken off the table.

In the end, I'd be just as satisfied with having no title, and would rather have no title than one that doesn't fit 100%.



--InfoDroid




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Because it's unforgettably, unalterably, unforgiveably interwoven with one of the biggest hack-job disappointments ever committed to film.

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InfoDroid, I like 'The Battle Begins' to a degree as it is a 'beginning' and the word is fit to be in the title.

'Balance Of The Force' would be an ideal title as well apart from the reasons stated by Trooperman.

My instinct would be to definately have 'force' in the title somewhere as this movie specifically deals with issues concerning the force, the prophecy and the discovery of the Chosen One. It's far more difficult a task than I imagined getting 'force' in there!

Some Ideas:

Star Wars Episode One: The Prophecy

Star Wars Episode One: Knights To The Republic

Star Wars Episode One: A Call To Arms

Star Wars Episode One: Discord In The Republic

Star Wars Episode One: The Struggle Begins


Nope, can't think of any 'force' titles!

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Probably a crappy shot at this - but what about 'Episode 1 - The Force Within'?

Cheers,

Rebel Scum.
(not the more reknowned RebelScum)
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A quick combination to think about .. "The Prophecy Begins"

Well I like it.
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InfoDroid / All,

Regarding 'Vaderizing' some James Earl Jones dialogue, I have been tinkering around and I think it will certainly be possible to accomplish this seamlessly with bit of practice. Bear in mind that currently JEJ dialogue in my possesion is VERY limited and I haven't had time to find some clean 'center channel only' Vader dialogue from SW to compare it too. Nethertheless I think it has come out pretty good.

Get ready for some 'new' Darth Vader dialogue!

Here are the links to my first attempts:

vader1

vader2

If you think you will be needing new dialogue WAY down the line when work begins on eps 4,5,6 I am happy to help out!
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Originally posted by: InfoDroid
Because it's unforgettably, unalterably, unforgiveably interwoven with one of the biggest hack-job disappointments ever committed to film.


It's not exactly a hack-job. I watched it recently and apart from Jar-Jar and the poop-jokes, I actually enjoyed it. It's a decent piece of fun escapism and that's what Star Wars is all about. Besides, the original title is probably the best thing about it! But if you're looking for an alternative, I'd suggest "Episode I: Duel of The Fates" myself.
"The things that stick in my mind and make me laugh were, like, memos worried about whether or not the Wookie should have pants. They're looking at this thing and saying, "Couldn't he have some lederhosen?" This is great. Of all the things to worry about, the Wookie has no pants." -Mark Hamill
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Originally posted by: olzen
Originally posted by: InfoDroid
Because it's unforgettably, unalterably, unforgiveably interwoven with one of the biggest hack-job disappointments ever committed to film.


It's not exactly a hack-job. I watched it recently and apart from Jar-Jar and the poop-jokes, I actually enjoyed it. It's a decent piece of fun escapism and that's what Star Wars is all about. Besides, the original title is probably the best thing about it! But if you're looking for an alternative, I'd suggest "Episode I: Duel of The Fates" myself.


That was my point. Opinions on the film aside, the name itself is actually quite catchy and representative of the subject matter, without sounding overly cheasy or without giving away too much about the plot.
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olzen, I disagree. After looking at it closely, analyzing the dramatic structure, analyzing the way the film was put together, trying what was possible versus what was actually done, Lucas' "Menace" was an absolute disaster. He and his team dropped the ball in almost every way. It's a showcase of bad acting and missed opportunities. A textbook example of how NOT to make a film. Hence the reason we're trying to save this film from the fumbles of its own creator.

I always liked the idea of using "Duel of the Fates" for the title. But, it violates the "of the" rule. And any titles that mention "The Prophecy" always make me think of that string of bad Christopher Walken movies from the 80's and 90's...

Adamwankenobi, it's not going to be named "The Phantom Menace", for obvious reasons. Furthermore, the elimination of Sidious in the film will make that title even less appropriate, unless it refers to something going on behind the scenes, which a first-time viewer might not understand.

Dangelus, your Vader clips sound awesome for a first attempt! I think they sound VERY close to the real thing. I'd keep tweaking it and see how close you can actually get. There's all kinds of JEJ dialogue out there too. The Lion King, Field of Dreams, The Sandlot, The Hunt For Red October, just to name a few. Not sure if they have any usable dialogue, but you never know.

And Trooperman, I just noticed your earlier post. You must've been typing at the same time I was. I liked the long-rumored title "Balance" also, but like you said, it's already taken. I fear we're using too many ideas from MagFan's edit already, don't you think?

Lawrence of Arabia may be a possibility for the desert footage, if the age of the material isn't too obvious. I had a copy on DVD (the transfer wasn't really that great), but I finally traded it in. It was boring to the point of inducing nausea. The cinematic equivalent of watching paint dry. But hey, it's a classic. And Alec Guiness is always a delight to watch.

Trooperman, we'd love to hear your comments on ANYTHING at this point. You know that any involvement you can find time to offer this project is not only welcomed, but greatly appreciated.


--InfoDroid


P.S. - I dunno... Maybe Adam's right. Maybe it should be "The Phantom Menace".





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Originally posted by: olzen
Originally posted by: InfoDroid
Because it's unforgettably, unalterably, unforgiveably interwoven with one of the biggest hack-job disappointments ever committed to film.


It's not exactly a hack-job. I watched it recently and apart from Jar-Jar and the poop-jokes, I actually enjoyed it. It's a decent piece of fun escapism and that's what Star Wars is all about. Besides, the original title is probably the best thing about it! But if you're looking for an alternative, I'd suggest "Episode I: Duel of The Fates" myself.


I agree, it wasn't a hack job. It was the third sequel to a movie that didn't need sequels, however. It plays like it was filmed from the notes for a real movie, rather than from a finished script.

Anyone remember "Remo Williams: the Adventure Begins"? "Episode I" is marketing talk -- the first movie of a saga should not be called "Episode I" unless (as with TPM) it comes out fourth. In this imaginary reworking -- we're making the PT feel more OT so the whole saga holds together. This version goes 1-6 ironing out all the reasons that didn't really feel right in the Lucas releases.

Star Wars -- without "Episode ONE the Chosen ONE" or anything like it -- is how the series started in '77. I find it fitting and lovely to have the Starkiller Saga hold onto that and incorporate it.

If we are successful, this version of Episode I should play as a stand-alone film. TPM has a lot of tied up ends-- but none of them feel tied up because Sidious is more powerful than ever, Anakin's story has only begun without any development or conclusion, Qui Gonn's death amounted to nothing (unless it's as a postumous favor to him that the Council trains Anakin), and the Trade Federation isn't even really defeated. Doing it right means getting to an ending that feels like an ending -- not a beginning.

Making the walk to Mos Espa echo the droid hike will never make it a copy-- anymore than the Death Star run in ROTJ is a copy of the one in ANH. In ANH, the droids wander aimlessly, in TPM, Qui Gonn walks with purpose. Why can't we get a sense of how desolate this planet is while he walks? That's what the droid hike accomplished that TPM took for granted.

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Originally posted by: InfoDroid
olzen, I disagree. After looking at it closely, analyzing the dramatic structure, analyzing the way the film was put together, trying what was possible versus what was actually done, Lucas' "Menace" was an absolute disaster. He and his team dropped the ball in almost every way. It's a showcase of bad acting and missed opportunities. A textbook example of how NOT to make a film. Hence the reason we're trying to save this film from the fumbles of its own creator.

I always liked the idea of using "Duel of the Fates" for the title. But, it violates the "of the" rule.


What rule? If it sounds good, use it. That's the only thing I'd care about...

"The things that stick in my mind and make me laugh were, like, memos worried about whether or not the Wookie should have pants. They're looking at this thing and saying, "Couldn't he have some lederhosen?" This is great. Of all the things to worry about, the Wookie has no pants." -Mark Hamill
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Not to contradict you, MTH, but just for the sake of dicussion: The first "Pirates of the Carribean" movie had a subtitle. "The Curse of the Black Pearl". There've been many others as well. Especially recently. Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World, Lord of the Rings, Lemony Snicket, Harry Potter, Chronicles of Narnia... If they know it's going to be a series, as we know, then it is titled appropriately. There is a series title, and an episodic subtitle.

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Originally posted by: InfoDroid Dangelus, your Vader clips sound awesome for a first attempt! I think they sound VERY close to the real thing. I'd keep tweaking it and see how close you can actually get. There's all kinds of JEJ dialogue out there too. The Lion King, Field of Dreams, The Sandlot, The Hunt For Red October, just to name a few. Not sure if they have any usable dialogue, but you never know.


Thanks InfoDroid,

Once I get around to ripping (and figuring out how to!) isolated center Vader dialogue material from the OT I hope to make it match a little better. The filtering and EQ added to these ones were done 'by ear'.

D.
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None of them were called "Episode I"

Edited to add: The idea of "Star Wars" came from Trooperman, and now I'm in love with it. The simple reason is that it helps establish "Episode I" as a stand alone movie. Calling the first movie "Episode I" demands sequels. Those movies in your example, InfoDroid, come from book series. And they aren't "Episodes". Star Wars came out as a rollicking sci-fi adventure -- that's what the real "Episode I" should be. Not a bunch of exposition and set-ups which is what TPM turned out to be.

Unless someone comes up with a "gotta have it" title, using "Star Wars" with no "Episode" has charm and is the only place such a "reinstituting" of the first release crawl can happen.

If a "gotta have it" title comes up -- okay. But Episode ONE the CHosen ONE or The Phantom Menace sure don't cut it for me. Call me stubborn, but I like Trooperman's idea.

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What if we ditched ALL the subtitles? And just leave it at:

Star Wars
Star Wars II
Star Wars III
Star Wars IV
Star Wars V
Star Wars VI

And reserve the subtitles for Lucas' vision.

Too stark? Just a thought.

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Well, I'd suggest that you should at least just change "A New Hope" into "Star Wars". It's a much more poetic title and it does fit the Battle of Yavin quite well. As for the others, I don't know. Of course, it's up to you to decide, but I really think the old titles are working fine.
"The things that stick in my mind and make me laugh were, like, memos worried about whether or not the Wookie should have pants. They're looking at this thing and saying, "Couldn't he have some lederhosen?" This is great. Of all the things to worry about, the Wookie has no pants." -Mark Hamill