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The legendary "Starkiller Ranch" Thread — Page 20

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Since we're coming to this point in the script, I wanted to toss out a question that I posted a few days ago, but there wasn't any response. So , just tossing this up again.

-Just wanted to bring up a question for the scene of the queen and her crew being "escorted" to who knows where. Should we really use the idea of Nute "processing them"? That always felt really weak to me, what kind of clever and evil bad guy commands someone to be "processed". What does that mean? Turn in your I.D. ? Get a new prisoner uniform? In MagFans edit, as we all know, he changed it to where Nutes commands the droid commander to "shoot her friends". Although the line could use a change, I like the idea of something bad about to happen to them. It would give you sense of "oh no, the jedi need to hurry up and get here". Before there was no tension at all in watching them be "processed" , which I guess is just escorting them to a prison cell. Now, to make the line "shoot her compainions" as Magfan did would create one problem that I had with the alteration: No one reacts AT ALL to such a statement. So what could the line be? Think about it.....

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Yeah, preston, that's another pet peeve of mine. "Process them"?

It needs to be something horrible. Like, "Your aides will be sacrificed in my honor. And if you're not careful, My Dear, so will you. Take them away!"

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Oh Mr. Writer!! Mr. Writer??

More script please................
"You were so preoccupied with whether or not you could...you never stopped to think if you should." - Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park
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The "processed" line will be gone-- something more suitable will be there. He's sending them all to their doom, but it has to match everyone's reaction -- which I would describe as cautious stoicism.

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Originally posted by: tjdavis1138
Oh Mr. Writer!! Mr. Writer??

More script please................


AHH

I can't do it tonight-- Will try tomorrow.

THe general idea is the build-up of a surprise Jedi rescue of the Queen and a harsher defeat of the droids in the hanger (no talking to the droids before cutting them down)

But I can't now, DARN IT!

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No problem Chalala, you've got great ideas. I hope to see your project soon, and best of luck!

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Hey guys, I just thought of a neat idea reading the post about the jedi taking out the battle droids. The idea was to think about adding extra "Droid sounds" to the battle droids. What I mean by this is in the OT you can always hear 3-PO's gears moving when he turns his head, waves his arms, and while he's walking. How about adding those sounds to the Battledroids' movements to give them more of a realistic feel to them. I think their "clickety clack" walk sounds pretty cool, makes them seem really light weight though. I'm sure you're also going to give them different communication than what TPM offered, that was the BEST and most authentic change that Magfan did to his edit. The droids spoke basic to humans and neimoidian to the neimoidians. Anyway, just wanted to throw that in and see if it's necessary (anything is necessary for this movie).


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Think of how the probe droid from ESB sounded, Darth Preston.

Without giving too much away, our battle droids are going to sound along the same lines. Tentatively anyway. I might be a renegade by saying that this early without the approval of "the council". But, heck, I'm the sound guy, and tentatively... that's how they're gonna sound.

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I'm all for that, ID, as long as there's a wide variety of "dialogue" and not just the same Probe Droid stuff repeated over and over again.
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No way, CC. I've got a vault FILLED to the brim with unique droid sounds!

MUhahahahaha!!!!

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Darth Preston -- Love the Droid sound suggestion -- didn't know InfoDroid was already on top of it

---

Here's the next bit of script:

---

EXT. NABOO CITY

Establishing shot -- cut away before Bongo surfaces

INT. PALACE

Nute marches Queen down stairs and hands them over to droids

EXT. PALACE
They march down the steps
Out across the quad
Seen from a balcony, they march from right to left
Seen again from the balcony, a silhouette passes before camera (Qui Gonn -- shave this shot as much as possible while still feeling natural)
Ground level shot as Queen marches through alley
Reverse shot as Jedi leap off gangway--
Jedi dispatch droids and lead Queen away - talk to Governor; Panaka leads them to the Hanger

INT. HANGER
Establish hanger
Panaka looks in (cut his line -- leave some of his lip movement if you need to, but he looks in and then looks at QG) CUT TO
QG turning from having looked (no "That won't be a problem") he talks to the Queen
Play the rest out -- except OMIT the lines where Amidala consults Padme -- Go from Governor saying "Senator Palpatine will need your help" to Amidala saying "Then I will plead our case to the Senate."

They march into the hanger and OW says he'll take care of the pilots
QG marches up to the yellow droid -- before it says "halt" CUT TO
The yellow droid close up as he leans forward to say "You're under arrest"

QG cuts loose as does OW and they get everyone on the ship

INT QUEEN'S SHIP COCKPIT
Shave the shot of the pilot sitting to just the movement of him sitting -- no walking and no button pushing -- enough to feel natural, but at least half of this shot can go

EXT. PALACE
The ship flies off

INT QUEEN SHIP DROID STORAGE
OW leaves JJ with droids -- keep it all

INT COCKPIT
QG arrives (shave shot by half) As soon as he arrives, the pilot says (CUT TO Close up) "There's-..." CUT TO:

Shot out the windshield
"...the blockade!" Lasers pour at us

CU of QG as OW arrives behind him
More out windshield

EXT. SHOT as ship flies up -- taking fire. CLOSE UP of shield generator hit

INT. SHOT -- display of ship on dashboard; alarms; Pilot's Voice starts immediately OVER this image: "Shield..." CUT TO
Close up of Pilot: "...generator's been..." CUT TO
Alarm on the wall, (voice continues): "...hit!" Alarm continues--

INT DROID STAGING
Droids pour out and start leaving. Artoo bumps JJ and leaves. (Shorten JJ's reaction shot, try to keep him from looking like he's talking)

EXT. SHIP
Droids work, get blown up

INT COCKPIT
OW says 'We're losing droids fast" Move Panaka's line to play out over QG's close up "If we don't get the generator up we'll be sitting ducks!"
Pilot: shields are gone
Artoo plugs in the bypass
The display powers up.
The Pilot notices -- but cut his line (he doesn't say "the power's back!")-- let his face talk
Artoo welds the connection
The pilot (seen from behind) "That little droid did it!"
Over the Qui Gonn close up: "Deflector shields up at maximum"--

EXT DROID CONTROL SHIP
The Queen's ship flies past the guns
Artoo heads inside
ADD A SHOT -- Droid fighters fly over the Control Ship toward camera (reverse shot from the battle at the end -- right after Padme gets captured and before Anakin says "We're hit artoo!")

INT COCKPIT
ADD SOUNDS OF BLASTS HITTING SHIELDS
Display shows the hyperdrive -- pilot's voice says "not enough power, etc."
Shot of pilot: 'The hyperdrive is leaking!"
The rest of the shots play out -- WITH LOTS OF BOOMS AND BLASTS TO PUNCTUATE
(They're calm attitude will now play like courage and confidence in the face of the enemy, instead of a strange dramatic lull.)
QG says "that gives us the advantage..." CUT TO

EXT QUEEN'S SHIP
As it flies off fast enough to disappear from view-- outrunning any droid fighters behind it. CUT TO:

INT. NUTE'S DROID SHIP

Nute stands on the bridge with his flunkies (a "hologram removal" shot-- the first shot of the Nemoidian leaders talking to Sidious with Sidious removed -- like they're looking out the window CUT TO

Close up of Nute
Dialogue is more or less -- "I'm taking an awful risk, Vader. This had better work" -- No, wait... I mean Flunky: "The Jedi must have helped her. If she reaches the Senate..."
Nute: "It makes no difference, we have already won. And I have made a deal so that she can never escape my reach..."

WIPE TO:

EXT SPACE
The Queen's ship zooms by

INT QUEEN'S SHIP
Padme cleans Artoo and meets Jar Jar (we'll adjust JJ's dialogue to juice this up, but Amidala is SHOWING her gratitude to Artoo rather than TELLING us about it -- and she's meeting JJ which makes this a valuable scene) WIPE TO:

A star field -- then we pan UP and see Tatooine. A flipped version of the opening shot of ANH -- a much more fitting intro of the planet than the little pea we see the ship flying toward in TPM .

Pilot Voice Over: "That's it, Tatooine"

CUT TO:

INT COCKPIT
Seeing the same matte painting through the windshield
Qui Gonn instructs them to land near outskirts

---

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Originally posted by: MTHaslett
Nute stands on the bridge with his flunkies (a "hologram removal" shot-- the first shot of the Nemoidian leaders talking to Sidious with Sidious removed -- like they're looking out the window CUT TO

Close up of Nute
Dialogue is more or less -- "I'm taking an awful risk, Vader. This had better work" -- No, wait... I mean Flunky: "The Jedi must have helped her. If she reaches the Senate..."
Nute: "It makes no difference, we have already won. And I have made a deal so that she can never escape my reach..."


------------

A star field -- then we pan UP and see Tatooine. A flipped version of the opening shot of ANH -- a much more fitting intro of the planet than the little pea we see the ship flying toward in TPM .

Pilot Voice Over: "That's it, Tatooine"


-------------


I love it all, MTH... But these two parts make me REALLY glad we decided to do this project. Top notch. Good luck in pulling it off, TJ.


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Nute stands on the bridge with his flunkies (a "hologram removal" shot-- the first shot of the Nemoidian leaders talking to Sidious with Sidious removed -- like they're looking out the window CUT TO



Hologram removal...

"You were so preoccupied with whether or not you could...you never stopped to think if you should." - Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park
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Sorry, TJDavis1138

I thought you made it look so easy, let's do some more!

Not easy? Look for another shot that does the same thing -- maybe the now unnecessary "meet Darth Maul" scene will do. I prefer the scope of the bridge to that little conference room -- but whatever.

Those little frown faces got to me

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have you guys ever considered maybe re-rotoscoping Anakin/Vader's lightsaber to be red in the Mustafar fight. Cuz sense he became a Sith he should have red saber, but then again the backround of Mustafar might make it hard to see it the saber was red. jsut trying to give some idea's
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Then we'd have to rotoscope Luke's lightsaber in ANH and ESB since it's the same one -- the one OW lies and says "Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your Uncle wouldn't allow it..."

...grumble grumble, lying Obi Wan, grumble...

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Well, try to imagine this scenario then...

"Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough..."
"Really? Wow!"
"Nah, actually I just picked it up when he was lying on the volcano burning to death while he screamed 'I HATE YOU!'."
"..."
"Uh... it's an elegant weapon! From a more civilized age."

The colours of the lightsaber blades do not change depending on what side you're on. They do however change when you bring them aboard The Millenium Falcon
"The things that stick in my mind and make me laugh were, like, memos worried about whether or not the Wookie should have pants. They're looking at this thing and saying, "Couldn't he have some lederhosen?" This is great. Of all the things to worry about, the Wookie has no pants." -Mark Hamill
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Good point Darth Richard, and nice response olzen.

I too have my reservations about Luke's first lightsaber being used to kill Jedi in Order 66. Although the blue/blue lightsaber duel is something I'd always wanted to see. In the end it's not the weapon itself, but the one who wields it. So I say leave it as-is.
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Originally posted by: olzen
The colours of the lightsaber blades do not change depending on what side you're on. They do however change when you bring them aboard The Millenium Falcon


That's the most poignant, profound statement I've ever read on this board. Good one, olzen.

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Originally posted by: olzen
Well, try to imagine this scenario then...

"Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough..."
"Really? Wow!"
"Nah, actually I just picked it up when he was lying on the volcano burning to death while he screamed 'I HATE YOU!'."
"..."
"Uh... it's an elegant weapon! From a more civilized age."

The colours of the lightsaber blades do not change depending on what side you're on. They do however change when you bring them aboard The Millenium Falcon


O ya i forgot about the giving it Luke duh.. and i like explain for the Lukes saber changing colors hahahahhaha
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I was thinking......for the scene of the crew escaping the naboo hangar and flying off through the blockade: should we implement the "asteroid field" theme from the old trilogy? I was just imagining those scenes with that music and it made it seem really intense and very star wars. If not that specific piece, then one similar to it perhaps. Other than that, if those cuts can be carried out as well as they are written then it should improve this (originally) very weak scene into intense action. Excellent, on to tatooine!
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Hi Guys,

I stumbled on this site a little while back by accident really after discovering this whole new world of fan edit movies on myspleen. I would just like to comment on the level of creativity in this thread. It's amazing!I am now officially hooked on all this.

I've seen a couple of SW fan edits recently and I can't wait for more! Good luck with the completion of these ideas into an excellent alternative to the official saga. I don't know what you guys do for a living in the 'real world' but if you're not already doing it you should be scriptng and editing movies! Truly amazing work here.

On a side note, I've dabbled in audio editing in the past and I'm gonna try and find myself some James Earl Jones dialogue and try to 'Vaderize' it!

All the best,

D.
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Thanks for the comments, Dangelus!

And keep us posted about that "Vaderize" effect you're working on. You never know when something like that might come in handy. Episodes IV-VI are down the road!




--InfoDroid