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I've been lurking around for a while now, but allow me to say that I'm really impressed with what I have seen from you guys so far. At least someone know how to get these changes right!
The legendary "Starkiller Ranch" Thread — Page 18
I've been lurking around for a while now, but allow me to say that I'm really impressed with what I have seen from you guys so far. At least someone know how to get these changes right!
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Originally posted by: olzen
Hmm... wasn't Huttese and Ewokese based on some genuine languages of African origin? If you want to put that much effort into it, maybe that's the way to go. Take some foreign languages that are totally different from the main languages (English, French, Spanish etc.) and combine them to create something new. Unfortunately, it's not just something you do in one day!
I've been lurking around for a while now, but allow me to say that I'm really impressed with what I have seen from you guys so far. At least someone know how to get these changes right!
Hmm... wasn't Huttese and Ewokese based on some genuine languages of African origin? If you want to put that much effort into it, maybe that's the way to go. Take some foreign languages that are totally different from the main languages (English, French, Spanish etc.) and combine them to create something new. Unfortunately, it's not just something you do in one day!
I've been lurking around for a while now, but allow me to say that I'm really impressed with what I have seen from you guys so far. At least someone know how to get these changes right!
is how Burtt made the languages of the OT. They are just many random words from many random languages. I think it was only Nein Nunb that actually spoke a whole African dialect.
I am not sure about giving up voices from the Passions. On the one hand, thier voices were really menacing, but on the other, I'd prefer not to have something in there that would take me out of the movie. Remember Greg Proops's line of "That's gotta hurt!" It took me right out of the film. I can't speak for others, but words like Allah and Nazerath would be sticking out for me even if I didn't know what movie they were lifted from. But that's just me.
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I think our standard for alien dialogue should be simply to outdo MagFan's original back-mastered foreign tracks. You've already done that. Avoid "Allah's" if it's easy. Leave 'em if it's not -- We have to pick our battles. Our method allows different passes for different emphasis -- If we get the story right, Trooperman's pass can be for his strength in aesthetics (music, alien dialogue, photo-effects, etc.). We'll have an incredible leg-up on things when it's gone past all the people here at Starkiller Ranch.
To avoid being torn to shreds on stuff that isn't ready, I advise we keep clips to a minimum and reveal only what's ready for mass consumption. Let the "shredding" occur at the level of ideas -- concepts, script, things where everyone's thoughts, opinions, pet peeves, rants and fangs are invaluable and constructive.
Have we looked at the different "Klingon-ese" dialogue from Star Trek releases (TV and movies)? There is such a wealth of alien dialogue from that catalogue that I bet there's a lot of unrecognizable alien sounding dialogue to mine. [I mean for additional characters like the Gungan, the Pod Race announcers, whatever-- not the Nemoidians who are already perfect]
Just a thought.
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Regarding the recent topics of discussion:
"The Passion" Dialogue:
I am all for this, and can't see any other source outdoing it. I can overlook an "Allah" and "Nazareth" every now and then; whose to say those wouldn't be words in their language? Everything thing else is absolutely perfect. InfoDroid is right about people being too perfectionistic. I know I "disagree" with a lot of ideas, but I try to think through my suggestions reasonably as to what and what cannot be done by us as fan edtors. Keep on InfoDroid, do noe be discouraged!
Darth Grievous/Maul:
I definitely see the position on keeping Maul's name Maul. I wish we could and still accomplish Maul=Grievous for Episode III, but it's simply impossible logistically to replace "Grievous" with "Maul." Therefore considering "Maul" is only mentioned by name by Sidious, and that in our edit there IS no Sidious, it is far more reasonable to simply re-name him in Episode I. If anyone has another practical suggestion feel free to share, but for now I don't see any other way to do it and a name change for a nameless charcter is a small price to pay for the overall advantages of tying these two one-off villains together.
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Originally posted by: Trooperman
Hello everyone! This is Trooperman
Welcome back!
One concern that I do have is the use of the name “Darth Grievous” throughout Episode I. I much prefer “Darth Maul”- it’s so much better aesthetically that it’d almost be worth it to me to just leave General Grievous as is in Episode III.
We don't get to hear his name a lot -- maybe a combo of "Maul Grievous" instead of "Darth Grievous" would suffice. I never understood why "Darth" suddenly became a title. Clearly, in ANH, it isn't a title since Obi Wan calls Vader "Darth" repeatedly. It was his first name, as conceived -- changed retroactively into a catch-all title "Darth SIdious" "Darth Maul" "Count Dukoo" "General Grievous" "Darth Vader" -- what's the rhyme and reason there?
I’m also very pleased that you’ve decided to go with my plan to title this film “Star Wars”. I’m not as happy about the omission of the prologue. Thinking back, I didn’t really care about having a LOTR style narrator and accompanying video. Even a series of blue sentences (in the same font as “A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away) that fade in and out would be very nice. We could have eerie music- or just fade the very brief and succinctly worded cards in and out. Kind of like the beginning of “2010”. I just think we need something for the beginning of everything, telling us about a war between the Jedi and the Sith in which the Sith were completely wiped out. “But there were whispers ever afterwards that the Sith had survived…”. Fade to black. “STAR WARS” logo appears, with familiar music.
Well, you have a lot of pull as spiritual leader around here. I must say, however, that this sounds like something to accomplish in the crawl proper. Does it really make sense to have a crawl to set up the crawl? If we have a single crawl after the title -- it should (and this was a disappointment about TPM for me) begin with a paragraph that sets up the Galaxy we're dealing with. "For Thousands of generations, the Galactic Republic has stood. Long ago, the Jedi Knights -- guided by the mysterious FORCE -- defeated the dark power of the evil Sith, establishing freedom and prosperity. The people of the Galaxy then allied their star systems into a single Republic for the protection of all..."
MUCH needed -- great news that we can pick what part of the frame we want, since some of the time it'll be the top portion, sometimes the bottom. I was afraid it came down to just slapping black bars onto the frame-- which would ruin some shots.
YES- and this is the most important to me. I’ve realized that to some people, believability in the PT is a big thing. To some, it’s the storyline. To some, it’s the excitement of adding new scenes, or changing lines, or what have you. To me, it’s the overall aesthetics, the cinematography, and the music that is most important. When I’m editing, this is first and foremost on my mind. Occasionally, I will make a decision to keep a beat, or to cut something out, not because it makes a lot of sense, but because it is dramatically effective. There are many, many things in these prequels where people might ask, “Why did you change this? There was nothing wrong with the way it was before.” There may not have been anything wrong with it before, but why settle for mediocrity when you can make it breathtaking, exhilarating…classic?
I’m off on a tangent. I will try to comment on some more specifics later. I still don’t know how a dream will advance the story any. If anything, it would seem to be a break stylewise from SW, especially for a stand-alone movie like the original. Yes, I know it will be done in SOTDS and in Ep. III, but there is a very important purpose in these cases. I would still need to be convinced that this is important to the story.
Classic. High standards indeed. We'll do our best and count on your help in the end -- but I think starting with story is the way to go. If we can make the story solid, then things have a chance to become classic. But no bit will work at that level if the overall story isn't somehow elevated first.
I love the idea of the first Anakin/Padme scene being a haunting moment, with the force theme playing and no dialogue. I would not abuse this technique of using little to no dialogue in a scene, though; I think part of what makes it special is its contrast with everything else, which could be lost if it is overused.
Agreed -- I think the footage isn't there to do it anyway. But if the first beat can be haunting, then the rest will play better. There are many scenes, however, that will play better with LESS dialogue. There is a dirth of OT style scenes that play out without wall-to-wall expositonal dialogue. "You come from a warm planet, space is cold, I don't need this to remember you, I care about you too, but... BLECH!" Reducing things to a couple words and the looks on their faces makes that scene so much better.
Anyway, thanks very much for reading. I can’t believe the number of responses this thread has gotten in such a short time- why didn’t you guys do this for my thread?
Maybe because I sometimes don’t respond for days on end! (my fault). And a new “Ranch” website- wow! (I still think we can generate a better name). Anyway, with the new interest in this new fan-created SW saga, it doesn’t look like we’ll have trouble securing voice actors for whatever we may need (sinister, Ensligh speaking battle droids, perhaps- to cut down on subtitles, Jar-Jar, maybe even someone’s son to dub Anakin? That’s certainly pushing it).
Hello everyone! This is Trooperman
Welcome back!
One concern that I do have is the use of the name “Darth Grievous” throughout Episode I. I much prefer “Darth Maul”- it’s so much better aesthetically that it’d almost be worth it to me to just leave General Grievous as is in Episode III.
We don't get to hear his name a lot -- maybe a combo of "Maul Grievous" instead of "Darth Grievous" would suffice. I never understood why "Darth" suddenly became a title. Clearly, in ANH, it isn't a title since Obi Wan calls Vader "Darth" repeatedly. It was his first name, as conceived -- changed retroactively into a catch-all title "Darth SIdious" "Darth Maul" "Count Dukoo" "General Grievous" "Darth Vader" -- what's the rhyme and reason there?
I’m also very pleased that you’ve decided to go with my plan to title this film “Star Wars”. I’m not as happy about the omission of the prologue. Thinking back, I didn’t really care about having a LOTR style narrator and accompanying video. Even a series of blue sentences (in the same font as “A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away) that fade in and out would be very nice. We could have eerie music- or just fade the very brief and succinctly worded cards in and out. Kind of like the beginning of “2010”. I just think we need something for the beginning of everything, telling us about a war between the Jedi and the Sith in which the Sith were completely wiped out. “But there were whispers ever afterwards that the Sith had survived…”. Fade to black. “STAR WARS” logo appears, with familiar music.
Well, you have a lot of pull as spiritual leader around here. I must say, however, that this sounds like something to accomplish in the crawl proper. Does it really make sense to have a crawl to set up the crawl? If we have a single crawl after the title -- it should (and this was a disappointment about TPM for me) begin with a paragraph that sets up the Galaxy we're dealing with. "For Thousands of generations, the Galactic Republic has stood. Long ago, the Jedi Knights -- guided by the mysterious FORCE -- defeated the dark power of the evil Sith, establishing freedom and prosperity. The people of the Galaxy then allied their star systems into a single Republic for the protection of all..."
MTH in particular- GREAT conceptual ideas and great bits of script you’ve posted. I especially like the new Boss Nass. How intelligent and wise he is now! The only issue is the cartoonish imagery, which I suppose is cured by taking the eyes off of the picture and onto the subtitles.
Thanks -- and yes, that's my idea. Plus, the cartoons become less annoying when the substance of their minds becomes intriguing. Boss Nass has to be the first to mention "The Prophecy" and how this feels like an age of prophecy -- setting Qui Gonn up for his discovery.
Excellent advice which I hope we can live up to. Your help will be most appreciated in a final pass, as you suggest.
I can try to share with everyone the specifics of using the full-screen DVD for anamorphic widescreen shots, but it generally just involves an anamorphic math calculation, making the choice of what part of the full-screen frame you want, and sometimes, a bit of sharpening to counter the softness sometimes apparent using the method. I think the advantages in storytelling and cinematography far outweigh the technical issues.
Thanks -- and yes, that's my idea. Plus, the cartoons become less annoying when the substance of their minds becomes intriguing. Boss Nass has to be the first to mention "The Prophecy" and how this feels like an age of prophecy -- setting Qui Gonn up for his discovery.
I’ll continue to follow this thread- however, I’m not going to be able to give consistent feedback and ideas on this, as I don’t have a clear picture in my head of what Episode I should be like. It’s such a flawed film, but there are so many interesting ideas to fix it. I liked MF’s approach to Jar-Jar; cocky and arrogant. However, I also think that some charm and wit is in order for his character, along with some British or Australian type of subtitles. That’s my picture of Jar-Jar (and the alien voice certainly needs to sound more normal in pitch). As far as the imagery- I would REALLY think to yourself with every shot- how is the cinematography? Is this classic filmmaking? Are these good compositions? Are the colors ridiculous, does the CG look like a cartoon, and are the colors oversaturated? That’s one big issue I have with this movie, particularly with the end battle. I don’t think they could have made the imagery more phony. We need realistic and muted colors, better and more dramatic lighting, impact flashes and lighting fluctuations during the battle, etc.
Excellent advice which I hope we can live up to. Your help will be most appreciated in a final pass, as you suggest.
I can try to share with everyone the specifics of using the full-screen DVD for anamorphic widescreen shots, but it generally just involves an anamorphic math calculation, making the choice of what part of the full-screen frame you want, and sometimes, a bit of sharpening to counter the softness sometimes apparent using the method. I think the advantages in storytelling and cinematography far outweigh the technical issues.
MUCH needed -- great news that we can pick what part of the frame we want, since some of the time it'll be the top portion, sometimes the bottom. I was afraid it came down to just slapping black bars onto the frame-- which would ruin some shots.
YES- and this is the most important to me. I’ve realized that to some people, believability in the PT is a big thing. To some, it’s the storyline. To some, it’s the excitement of adding new scenes, or changing lines, or what have you. To me, it’s the overall aesthetics, the cinematography, and the music that is most important. When I’m editing, this is first and foremost on my mind. Occasionally, I will make a decision to keep a beat, or to cut something out, not because it makes a lot of sense, but because it is dramatically effective. There are many, many things in these prequels where people might ask, “Why did you change this? There was nothing wrong with the way it was before.” There may not have been anything wrong with it before, but why settle for mediocrity when you can make it breathtaking, exhilarating…classic?
I’m off on a tangent. I will try to comment on some more specifics later. I still don’t know how a dream will advance the story any. If anything, it would seem to be a break stylewise from SW, especially for a stand-alone movie like the original. Yes, I know it will be done in SOTDS and in Ep. III, but there is a very important purpose in these cases. I would still need to be convinced that this is important to the story.
Classic. High standards indeed. We'll do our best and count on your help in the end -- but I think starting with story is the way to go. If we can make the story solid, then things have a chance to become classic. But no bit will work at that level if the overall story isn't somehow elevated first.
I love the idea of the first Anakin/Padme scene being a haunting moment, with the force theme playing and no dialogue. I would not abuse this technique of using little to no dialogue in a scene, though; I think part of what makes it special is its contrast with everything else, which could be lost if it is overused.
Agreed -- I think the footage isn't there to do it anyway. But if the first beat can be haunting, then the rest will play better. There are many scenes, however, that will play better with LESS dialogue. There is a dirth of OT style scenes that play out without wall-to-wall expositonal dialogue. "You come from a warm planet, space is cold, I don't need this to remember you, I care about you too, but... BLECH!" Reducing things to a couple words and the looks on their faces makes that scene so much better.
Anyway, thanks very much for reading. I can’t believe the number of responses this thread has gotten in such a short time- why didn’t you guys do this for my thread?
Maybe because I sometimes don’t respond for days on end! (my fault). And a new “Ranch” website- wow! (I still think we can generate a better name). Anyway, with the new interest in this new fan-created SW saga, it doesn’t look like we’ll have trouble securing voice actors for whatever we may need (sinister, Ensligh speaking battle droids, perhaps- to cut down on subtitles, Jar-Jar, maybe even someone’s son to dub Anakin? That’s certainly pushing it). We tried to hijack your thread over Thanksgiving -- but it didn't really help you
Consider this whole thread an extention of yours -- and I must point out that things have slowed down after narrowing the focus to just Episode I. Discussing the whole Saga invites so many emotions and opinions that it was easy to rip through a dozen posts a day! Now it's getting awful close to a real project.Dubbing the Gungans will be so hard, though, won't it? -- the bilingual Jar Jar is smarter than an accented English speaking Jar Jar. Plus there's Boss Nass to cover -- and both of them have such performance issues... Subtitles improve the Gungans in many ways, I believe. But adding English/Australian coloquialisms to their dialogue might make sense "Aye, lad, I was banished. It's grim to think of it." Erm... someone can help, I hope. That's my vote, anyway.
Dubbing Anakin might help cover some of his performance-- but that's tough work. I've been strategizing ways of capitalizing on the best of Jake Lloyd's work -- of which the best is quite good. I think GL made the mistake of trying to keep massive amounts of exposition in the movie, coming from Anakin's character. Cut a lot of it and not only does Anakin get better, but several scenes improve as well.
Good to hear from you, Trooperman. Come back soon!
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Erik --
We're going to have some revisions to the first bit of script -- and that makes me realize we may have caused you a headache. SO I ask: if we change part 1,does that make you have to manually change all the other parts that contain part 1?
If so, let's log each snippet separately to save work.
---
One bit we've been struggling with is the "intro" of Nute.
I think what we have is close-- but it needs to be tweaked.
Holding back on his first appearance means we can't just cut to him talking to the droid or appearing on the vid-screen as he does in TPM.
The first attempt was to find him fuming mad about the idea that he's been secretly kept from killing the Jedi. This doesn't work because the footage for such a furious entrance doesn't exist -- and frankly that idea is kind of self-destructive. What kind of leader doesn't know how the Jedi will be dealt with?
So the cut goes from the ship landing, the Jedi talking, the Droids stacking up outside their door, the ship being blasted, the gas coming in, the door opening... the Jedi attack and massacre the droids, and...
Cut to: (again, all dialogue is Temp)
The Nemoidian Comm guy: "The Jedi are cornered, bu the droids are falling fast."
Next shot: over Gunray's left shoulder, favoring Flunky #1
Flunky #1: "It is worth it to spend a few droids. They will self-correct to defeat the Jedi. We must protect you, Lord Gunray. It has been too long since you killed a Jedi"
Nute: "I am still not convinced."
Cutaway of Jedi killing droids
Nemoidian Comm guy: "The Jedi are coming this way."
Next shot: again, over Nute's shoulder on Flunky #1 (the second such available shot)
Nute: "Bring them here. I will deal with them."
Flunky #1: "It is too risky. If they should get lucky, we cannot afford to lose you."
Cutaway of Jedi killing more droids
Close on Flunky #1: "The Destroyers will stop them..."
Nute: "Get away from me. You have failed."
Cutting to the shot of Flunky #1 shrinking away and Nute turning toward camera-- but cutting away as we get our first glimpse of his face (before the shot pans over to catch Sidious).
Cut to Comm Guy: "They have shut down communications"
Cut To: Nute spinning round to face camera for our first real look at him.
Flunky #2 is there to provide more advice as they walk across the bridge to the closing door. Nute shouts an order, the doors shut and Nute believes this is a further mistake-- but Flunky #2 is calmly adamant that Nute should be protected.
The Jedi arrive and start cutting down the door.
This adjustment is to say that Nute okayed an attempt to kill the Jedi with droids, but he had his doubts. When it fails, he feels angry and misled. He wants to go with his initial plan of face to face combat, but the underlings feel Nute is too important to risk.
We should work in a hint about the effort they've made to get this invasion to be legal and hint at a role of another -- namely Sidious.
We should add appropriate shots of underlings and background agents to let this dialogue play out naturally -- so I guess that means we'd better write it
anyway...
Then, when the Destroyer droids arrive and start holding the Jedi off -- THAT'S when the Amidala call comes -- while the Jedi battle the destroyers in the background.
After the talk with Amidala ends, Nute orders his invasion. The Jedi are cornered and finished.
Then the Jedi escape! Nute and the flunky see it happen on the screen -- rather in disbelief(?)
Nute wants them brought to him-- (adjust from the spinning shot we've currently got. It has the right energy, but needs an additional shot or two to amend it)
Then we cut to the Queen's castle...
How does this sound?
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Originally posted by: MTHaslett
...SO back to business:
Erik --
We're going to have some revisions to the first bit of script -- and that makes me realize we may have caused you a headache. SO I ask: if we change part 1, does that make you have to manually change all the other parts that contain part 1?
If so, let's log each snippet separately to save work.
...SO back to business:
Erik --
We're going to have some revisions to the first bit of script -- and that makes me realize we may have caused you a headache. SO I ask: if we change part 1, does that make you have to manually change all the other parts that contain part 1?
If so, let's log each snippet separately to save work.
HTH,
So far, we have 3 versions of the script. The next thing I get - whatever that is - will be version 4. I don't see any need to go back and change what we've already posted. This way, we'll have a history of our changes.
You know of the rebellion against the Empire?
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Now I see the light!
How appropriate for Christmas Eve.
Thank you Erik, where ever you are!
Peace on Earth. Good will toward all.
Bless this little thread...
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Can we talk about the Duel of the Fates theme/musical cues?
I like them so much-- but because TPM is so flawed structurally, they don't mean much in the context of the movie. They signal the Maul/Qui Gonn showdown and that's about it -- or am I missing something?
I know they imply a great fate is in the balance -- and that's what they should mean -- but how does that play out in the movie? Maul knows nothing of Anakin, and really niether does anyone else.
In this new version of the story there's more opportunity to create meaning.
What do people think about introducing the themes and cues earlier -- building toward a full orchestration when all the pieces come together in the final battle?
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Has anybody starting considering how to arrange the soundtrack for this edit? I don't know about everyone else, but i'm all for dumping the "trade federation march" theme from the prequels. I know that it sounds outrageous to some, but I got bored with it after Episode 1, and then they continued to have it in 2 and 3. But it had random association in all the originals. In TPM it was obviously the droid army, in Ep.2 it was the clone army, then in Ep.3 it was the clones fighting the droids.........so if what they were going for was "Clone War" music, then I would have rather had something more epic. That's just my opinion. There are PLENTY of amazing tracks on the Shadows of the Empire soundtrack and I'm sure TrooperMan has a catalouge of music that should be good enough to stand in with Williams score. But I think there should be new themes for BossNass/Gungans, Naboo panaramic shots, Coruscant, and especially Tatooine. If you can re-score 90% of the movie, then you will have easier ways of blending cuts together and the swipes from scene to scene. Soo much of TPM score just seemed bland.........I know that there are alot of subtle tracks on the OOT soundtracks, but TPM sounds soo "bright" and "happy" and I believe you guys are trying to make a darker version of Ep.1. But ANYWAY, I agree with Mthaslett, we should think of uses pieces of Duel of the Fates to sprinkle around the plot and see how it turns out. Imagine back before the movie came out, and you were listening to the soundtrack when it came out...........weren't you imagining something soo GRAND when you were hearing the music? One thing I have to say about ALL of the prequels is that they didn't use the actual soundtracks to the best of their potential. I think that even ROTS didn't use its musical cues appropriately. Questions? Comments?
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Pretty much.
How about one of those all-star soundtracks, "music inspired by the Phantom Menace"? Featuring Mariah Carey, Elton John, Ja Rule, and The Black-Eyed Peas? Elton can sing "Circle of Life" while Qui-Gon explains midi-chlorians. Comments, suggestions?
I'm working in-depth on the soundtrack now. I'm drawing from a myriad of sources including John Williams material (from his filmography, nothing too recognizable), Joel McNeely's "Shadows of the Empire", ureleased tracks from the "TPM video game", "The Knights of the Old Republic 2", and unreleased material from ROTS and AOTC that was featured in "Battlefront II". I also MIGHT take some cues from the Ewoks movies soundtracks if appropriate. Maybe for Jar-Jar's theme or something, if we decide he gets a theme.
Anyway, work is progressing.
--InfoDroid
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The Nemoidians are doing something much bigger than blocking a trade route -- they are playing with Galactic history.
I think this theme fits that music.
So as we build the awareness within Qui Gonn that his distrust of the council is well-founded -- that something big is up and only he seems to be aware of it -- that the boy is the chosen one and that Maul, the TF, the Queen, and the Jedi all have roles and mistakes to make in order for the prophecy to become real -- the theme should build until the final battle where the prophecy is held in the balance -- and Qui Gonn's death makes it possible for Anakin to be taken as a Padawan.
I'd like something mysterious and powerful for Jar Jar and the Gungan -- they are the only ones besides Qui Gonn who sees the age of Prophecy coming.
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Wouldn't want to overdo it in the OT-- but definitely it needs to raise its head in the "return of Anakin" duel of ROTJ somehow. Probably it would add texture to a lot of what happens between Vader, Luke and the Emperor from the time Vader and Luke meet again at the elevator.
Kind of like putting the Imperial march into ANH a little -- we don't want to screw up what's done well, but add continuity and texture to the whole Saga.
Sharing some more ideas:
I've been looking for ways to keept more suspense in the action -- looking for places to make things look desperate for our heroes. Here are some:
When Jar Jar leads the Jedi to Gunga -- let their arrest be more rapid, give the guards some smarts: "So, Jedi. We know how to deal with your kind." Zap. The Jedi don't resist and we cut on a real downbeat--
TO NABOO -- The droids pour in and LASER BLASTS and EXPLOSIONS fill the soundtrack. The resistance is being wiped out. Ships fly over the castle. More BOOMS. There's a shot from the parade at the end looking up as Naboo fighters fly over Naboo and confetti flies -- add BLASTER SOUNDS and BOOMS and it looks like war footage -- hear SCREAMS, make this violent. Show the army approaching through a window and finally (moving this shot to the end) show us Amidala at the window, looking defeated...
Back to Gunga -- the Jedi face Boss Nass -- he says "Two Jedi? That's all the council sent? They are blind. This is a time of prophecy..." Etc. He gives them a Bongo and they go. They get chased by fish, then head for that outcropping... CUT TO:
Ext. Naboo, establishing-- cut away before Bongo surfaces. THen Nute marches the queen. Still hear muted Explosions, lasers and Screams. Nute orders the Queen "processed" and they march her away -- outside, down the street -- as long as we can make it seem WITHOUT cutting to the Jedi. We can still hear distant sounds of Battle. Then, just when it looks like no one can help, we see the Jedi heads pop into frame and they leap down from the walkway to devestate the droids and save teh PRincess. With the sounds of a war in the background it makes the Jedi attack feel like there's anger that they wish they could do more.
This surprise activates all the interchange between the Jedi and the Queen's guard. They actually catch us up on what's going on rather than just repeating what we all know so freakin' well already.
They viciously destroy the droids in the hanger and get on the ship and go-- saving what few Naboo they can. With battle sounds in the distance, Qui Gonn's warning that the Nemoidians will "kill you if you stay" seems a lot more accurate. They blast off.
Then when they approach the droid control ship, recutting this for more tension will mean avoiding as many shots of that pilot as possible. His shots all look like a guy sitting at his PC playing a video game. Shortening a lot of shots will help too. Then, as Artoo gets the shields back up, add a shot of Fighter Droids approaching (there's one in particular from the final battle that we can reverse and use) -- the Nemoidians aren't just letting them go. Keep the laser sounds and explosions Booming as they have a briefer discussion about how the hyperdrive is leaking and they should go to Tatooine (cut Panaka's B.S. objections) and then they escape by flying off (into hyperspace? Just cause the hyperdrive is leaking doesn't mean they can't make the jump, does it?) Anyway -- we can maybe assume they just outrun the droid ships which is basically what's there now anyway.
Adding these sources of tension will help a lot, I think.
Thoughts?
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Mthaslett wrote:
"Ext. Naboo, establishing-- cut away before Bongo surfaces. THen Nute marches the queen. Still hear muted Explosions, lasers and Screams. Nute orders the Queen "processed" and they march her away -- outside, down the street -- as long as we can make it seem WITHOUT cutting to the Jedi. We can still hear distant sounds of Battle. Then, just when it looks like no one can help, we see the Jedi heads pop into frame and they leap down from the walkway to devestate the droids and save teh PRincess. With the sounds of a war in the background it makes the Jedi attack feel like there's anger that they wish they could do more."
-Just wanted to bring up a question for the scene of the queen and her crew being "escorted" to who knows where. Should we really use the idea of Nute "processing them"? That always felt really weak to me, what kind of clever and evil bad guy commands someone to be "processed". What does that mean? Turn in your I.D. ? Get a new prisoner uniform? In MagFans edit, as we all know, he changed it to where Nutes commands the droid commander to "shoot her friends". Although the line could use a change, I like the idea of something bad about to happen to them. It would give you sense of "oh no, the jedi need to hurry up and get here". Before there was no tension at all in watching them be "processed" , which I guess is just escorting them to a prison cell. Now, to make the line "shoot her compainions" as Magfan did would create one problem that I had with the alteration: No one reacts AT ALL to such a statement. So what could the line be? Think about it.....
-I love all of your ideas , (mthaslett,CC, Infodroid) of incorporating new music into certain spots of the saga. I almost wish I had the capability to do my own edits so that I could have all the music correctly fitted with my interpretation. But it is more useful giving you guys suggestions and hoping something is picked up. I'll be on this board for a long time, and I can't wait till we hit Return of the Jedi. BUT, back to Episode 1.
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With Maul becoming Grievous -- the wheezing might make more sense, a la Vader's breath -- a kink that Sidious could not quite work out.
We'll see...
More script soon...
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MTH, I like... no LOVE this most recent round of gold that has been mined from your... well, mind.
Do you also walk on water, Sir? We shall discuss this in detail post-haste.
--ID
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I was watching my 7 year old nephew yesterday, and he is a big SW fan. So I put all 6 movies on the floor and told him I wanted to ask a couple of questions on why he loves SW. First, he sees them as six episodes, as he doesn't know the names of the movies by heart, just Episode I, Episode II, etc.
I first asked him what are your favorites?
-He pointed, "I like Episode 4 & 5."
What which ones are your least favorite?
-He pointed, "Episode 1 & 2"
How come you don't like Episode 1 & 2?
-Episode 3 tells you everything you need to know about Anakin turning to Darth Vader, Episode 1 & 2 are just alright I guess.
Do you like anything about Episode 1?
-He kinda nodded, I like Darth Maul, but he dies at the end.
What do you like better Episode 3 or 6?
-I like Episode 3 better
Why do like Episode 4 & 5 the best?
-Because they are the coolest movies out of all 6, I like Episode 5 the most.
Why do you like Episode 5 the most?
-He just looked at me and said, "I am your father!" That is the best part of all the movies.
I like looking at Star Wars from a kid's point of view, preferably a kid who's never seen it before. Things like this make me excited about elevating the PT and ROTJ to the same level.
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Mace Windu's Death
