Erik --
We're going to have some revisions to the first bit of script -- and that makes me realize we may have caused you a headache. SO I ask: if we change part 1,does that make you have to manually change all the other parts that contain part 1?
If so, let's log each snippet separately to save work.
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One bit we've been struggling with is the "intro" of Nute.
I think what we have is close-- but it needs to be tweaked.
Holding back on his first appearance means we can't just cut to him talking to the droid or appearing on the vid-screen as he does in TPM.
The first attempt was to find him fuming mad about the idea that he's been secretly kept from killing the Jedi. This doesn't work because the footage for such a furious entrance doesn't exist -- and frankly that idea is kind of self-destructive. What kind of leader doesn't know how the Jedi will be dealt with?
So the cut goes from the ship landing, the Jedi talking, the Droids stacking up outside their door, the ship being blasted, the gas coming in, the door opening... the Jedi attack and massacre the droids, and...
Cut to: (again, all dialogue is Temp)
The Nemoidian Comm guy: "The Jedi are cornered, bu the droids are falling fast."
Next shot: over Gunray's left shoulder, favoring Flunky #1
Flunky #1: "It is worth it to spend a few droids. They will self-correct to defeat the Jedi. We must protect you, Lord Gunray. It has been too long since you killed a Jedi"
Nute: "I am still not convinced."
Cutaway of Jedi killing droids
Nemoidian Comm guy: "The Jedi are coming this way."
Next shot: again, over Nute's shoulder on Flunky #1 (the second such available shot)
Nute: "Bring them here. I will deal with them."
Flunky #1: "It is too risky. If they should get lucky, we cannot afford to lose you."
Cutaway of Jedi killing more droids
Close on Flunky #1: "The Destroyers will stop them..."
Nute: "Get away from me. You have failed."
Cutting to the shot of Flunky #1 shrinking away and Nute turning toward camera-- but cutting away as we get our first glimpse of his face (before the shot pans over to catch Sidious).
Cut to Comm Guy: "They have shut down communications"
Cut To: Nute spinning round to face camera for our first real look at him.
Flunky #2 is there to provide more advice as they walk across the bridge to the closing door. Nute shouts an order, the doors shut and Nute believes this is a further mistake-- but Flunky #2 is calmly adamant that Nute should be protected.
The Jedi arrive and start cutting down the door.
This adjustment is to say that Nute okayed an attempt to kill the Jedi with droids, but he had his doubts. When it fails, he feels angry and misled. He wants to go with his initial plan of face to face combat, but the underlings feel Nute is too important to risk.
We should work in a hint about the effort they've made to get this invasion to be legal and hint at a role of another -- namely Sidious.
We should add appropriate shots of underlings and background agents to let this dialogue play out naturally -- so I guess that means we'd better write it
anyway...
Then, when the Destroyer droids arrive and start holding the Jedi off -- THAT'S when the Amidala call comes -- while the Jedi battle the destroyers in the background.
After the talk with Amidala ends, Nute orders his invasion. The Jedi are cornered and finished.
Then the Jedi escape! Nute and the flunky see it happen on the screen -- rather in disbelief(?)
Nute wants them brought to him-- (adjust from the spinning shot we've currently got. It has the right energy, but needs an additional shot or two to amend it)
Then we cut to the Queen's castle...
How does this sound?