Hi Broom Kid,
Very excited for your changes.
I think you made enough changes for a new thread. I also do not want Hal’s thread to get sidetracked here. I would like for him to retire from editing like he stated a while back. He has contributed more than enough to the fan editing community.
Anyway here are some thoughts for possible additional changes (I am open for people to tell me why they disagree):
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I think an opening crawl could be helpful and make this movie feel more like another Star Wars “episode” and Part 1 of 2 of a New Hope.
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I would cut Lyra telling Jynn to trust the force. Why would their family care or be aware of the force anyway?
Later in the movie, I would cut or trim Jynn praying with that necklace she received from her mother. She is not a force user nor should she have any familiarity.
Check out the new created line for Krennic discussing the Geonosians. This could be a possible addition, but there would be an obvious lip sync issue and hard to realistically fit in.
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I think Saw was portrayed as excessively eccentric. I think he should be toned down a bit to appear more stable and similar to his Clone Wars form. Much of his eccentric behavior was removed with the early Bohdi scenes. Maybe cut using his breathing apparatus before Jynn. This content really made me cringe.
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Not sure about this, but a potential trimmed reinstatement of the scene where Bodhi was dragged in front of Saw.
Best of luck on this edit.