Well, I’ve already read the script. I have to say that the basic plot is interesting, but as you said, it’s clear that it’s a first draft. I mainly notice that the whole episode is going too fast. It also feels short in duration.

As for the Jedi, I think you have to keep thinking about it. I’m not entirely convinced by the way you portray them.

I’m not entirely convinced by Obi-Wan either. I know you said he was going to be arrogant and all that, but I think he’s too arrogant. It seems like he thinks he’s superior to everyone else, even more so if they can’t use the Force. And as for his reasons for training Anakin, it’s basically because he can use the Force. I think he should decide at the end that he’ll be the one to train Anakin. Obviously believing he’s ready, when he’s not.

I’m not convinced by Anakin either. It feels like he wants to leave Tatooine at any cost and with anyone. It’s also unclear why he and his family left Alderaan, unless we learn that in another episode. I’m also not convinced by the final scene (the test with the lightsabers) at the Jedi temple on Coruscant. Overall, I think his initiation into the Force (even though he already has some control over how to use it) in this episode should be with Obi-Wan teaching him certain things and little more.

I know it all seems negative, but I repeat, the premise of the plot is interesting, but you need to think more about it and improve it.