Your ideas are quite interesting. I’ll take a look at the script and give you feedback once I’ve read it. As you said, this is a first draft, so if you don’t mind, I’ll give you some recommendations that I consider important:
Describe the characters more physically. For example, in this episode, I don’t know what Obi-Wan looks like physically. I don’t know if he has short or long hair, if he has a beard, or even what he’s wearing.
Basically, the idea is to describe them better, but you can also use references to describe them. For example, when introducing Anakin, instead of saying he has medium-length hair, you can say he has a hairstyle similar to Luke’s in Episode V. Or, for example, with clothing, when you introduce Obi-Wan, say that Obi-Wan is dressed in a Jedi uniform like Luke’s in Episode VI, but instead of being black, it’s brown.Indicate the age of the important characters. Here the idea is very similar to the previous one. I don’t know how old the characters are in this episode. I don’t know if Obi-Wan is 30, 35. An example of how to do it would be something like this: Obi-Wan Kenobi (30 or 30 y.o.) or Obi-Wan Kenobi, he is 30 years old. And, obviously, do it in every episode, since, at least for now, we don’t know how many years pass from Ep.I to Ep.II or from Ep.II to Ep.III.
I also want to clarify that I’m not saying you should do this with everyone, just with the important characters. But at the very least, do it with Anakin, Obi-Wan, Mother Skywalker, etc.
I should also add, as I mentioned before, that I haven’t read the script yet, only skimming it. I’d add that it would be nice if you gave Anakin’s father a name and not just referred to him as “FATHER.” I don’t know if his name is revealed later, but it would be nice if he had one.
If you’re interested, I can tell you where to find some prequel rewrites that I think are quite interesting, in case you want to see how they did it and maybe get some ideas.
Thanks, looking forward to what you say.
For the age and appearance of the characters I have made some notes and concepts, but didn’t put it in the script because I read that a screenplay should not contain this information. I think it makes sense because the purpose of the screenplay is to help the director and actors to create the scenes. The actual background information and design is done seperately, I just have not figured out an effective way to share it. I thought maybe a discord server could help.
Reading some other rewrites would definitely be interesting. I know a few already and some where really good.