Okay, I have a giant list of notes, but please take them in the nicest light possible. This is a great project - amazing technical execution of what must have been some really difficult edits, in my opinion just a stone cold improvement to what we originally got with Rogue One, I truly believe what you already have elevates the source material. If I were to introduce a friend to Andor/Rogue One, I would finish by showing them this.
But here’s some things I picked up on while watching it:
EPISODE 1 NOTES
a) I think the Lah’mu sequence needs to be reconsidered in light of Andor S1/2. In the original Rogue One, it helps introduce to Krennic. With Andor S2, he’s less in need of an introduction. Further, the sequence breaks Andor’s norm of flashbacks being limited to the narrator’s perspective, as shown in Andor and Kleya’s flashbacks. Additionally, I think Lah’mu should be split into two portions to give the sequence more narrative momentum throughout the episode. I think Lah’mu Flashback Part 1 should begin with Jyn running to her home as Krennic’s shuttle flies overhead, with the following additional modifications:
- We exclusively see information that Jyn has access to – we see the ship when she does, we can’t see her parents if she isn’t with them.
- When Jyn is packing we hear Lyra making a call and saying “It’s Lyra. It’s happened. He’s come for us.” But we are not shown/told who she is speaking to.
- We show Jyn returning to listen in on Galen/Krennic’s conversation earlier, giving us a POV into the interaction
This sequence will end when Lyra is killed and the Death Troopers begin fanning out, with adult Jyn waking up in prison, leaving the audience to wonder what happens in between.
b) After Rings of Kafrene, cut to Bohdi meeting Saw. I think Saw’s band needs less of an introduction after season 2, and we can get straight to the meat of it. It also gives us some breathing room from Cassian/Jyn’s storyline. As a side note, I would keep Bor Gullet, because it shows how far Saw has fallen, directly mirroring imperial torture methods. Plus adding these scenes makes Jyn/Cassian’s story move at a less breakneck pace, because in light of season 2 it feels like Cassian is pinballing around Yavin.
c) After Saw/Bohdi, move to Jyn’s jailbreak.
d) With Yavin featuring so prominently in the show, it requires a less grandiose introduction. We can probably hard cut straight from Jyn getting bodyslammed to her being walked into a rebel interrogation.
e) I think Bail’s presence during the interrogation is pure fan service. In the context of Andor season 2, we just saw this guy, so seeing him again doesn’t add anything to the scene except highlight the awkwardness of the recast, so I think his presence is an easy cut. I think we can also cut the short shot of Cassian undoing Jyn’s bonds.
f) Season 2 gave us a really good “Cassian leaving Yavin to go on his big mission” sequence, so I think his takeoff to Jedha can be substantially more abbreviated, maybe just using the score to focus on Draven’s headspace having given the kill order.
h) After they leave Yavin, we do Lah’mu Flashback Part 2, which replaces the existing dream sequence. This is just a more dramatic sequence, with young Jyn hiding from Death Troopers and the audience getting the reveal that her knowing Saw (mentioned in the interrogation) and her being saved on Lah’mu are related. Also, I think it would improve the scene to cut the shot where we see her eyes poking out at the Death Troopers… they’re so obvious and well-lit that it just makes the empire look incompetent.
i) Cassian is really scared about being in Jedha, but Jedha isn’t actually that scary. I think more tense music (Like what was played in the leadup to Ghorman) plus sounds of distant civil unrest, tie fighter scrambling, etc would greatly improve the atmosphere of the section.
j) During the Jedha tank sequence, I think that there needs to be a music cue that syncs up with 2Tubes seeing Cassian kill a partisan. Right now it reads a little awkward.
k) I think Cassian gawking at Jyn beating up the Stormtroopers is a little tonally dissonant with how violence is typically portrayed in Andor. Same with the “Is your foot okay” comment from Chirrut. Idk how much they can be edited around though.
EPISODE 2 NOTES
a) I thought the x wing bombing run music was a little too triumphant. Should feel a bit more messy, hectic, and morally grey.
b) The transition to Jyn mourning to them escaping landing pad is a little rough, but it’s also rough in the original cut, so idk how much can be done.
EPISODE 3 NOTES
a) I think as we begin to approach the dawn of A New Hope, it’s okay to let in some of the more traditional, Williams-esque scoring of the original Rogue One. Specifically, Bail and Mon’s conversation about sending Leia to find Obi Wan actually makes a lot of sense to score like A New Hope… I genuinely don’t think doing so would be fan service. If it is fan service, they earned it.
b) I think there needs to be some kind of orchestration around 7:40 (landing/uniform stealing sequence)
c) I think there needs to be some kind of orchestration around the explosions/imperial reaction at 12:15ish. This is the rebels catching the bad guys off guard, music should be used both to convey the triumph and the confusion of imperials no longer feeling invincible.
d) I personally feel like the R2/C3PO cameo is a bit gratuitous – they don’t contribute to the themes or drama beyond simple recognition. I would prefer this removed, but I understand it’s a matter of subjectivity and that the scene might be hard to edit around otherwise.
e) At 16:45, I think the arrival of the rebel fleet earns the rebel theme fanfare. Maybe not the whole song, but I think the motif deserves to be there, if within your capabilities as an editor.
f) At 22:30, I think there should be some orchestration around K2 body slamming those imperials.
g) At 23:55, if within your capabilities, I think someone yelling “For Ghorman!” would be a great bit of added continuity.
h) Once Jyn reaches the top of the tower + the star destroyer impact should be a bit more triumphant. There might be a section from the Rebel Suite Andor OST that would work?
i) At 37:34, when Krennic asks who Jyn is, I think the Rogue One’s dialogue is perhaps too verbose, especially if we want to draw a parallel to Andor/Syril’s “Who are you?” in season 2. I think we could do with Krennic asking “Who are you”, cutting to Jyn looking back to him, cutting to Krennic seeing the resemblance, cutting to him getting shot in the back by Cassian, or some variant. It also reinforces Jyn lunging at his body and Cassian pulling her away – she didn’t get the catharsis of a triumphant speech.
j) I think Past/Present Suite playing as the plans are received/the death star arrives is wrong. My vote is either the original scoring or the Andor/Rogue One song used at the end of Season 2.
k) I’m not sure how I feel about the longing eye contact between Cassian and Jyn in light of Bix in season 2. To cut it or leave it untouched is purely a subjective creative decision though, there’s nothing technically wrong with it. Definitely looks Cassian look a little non-monogamous though lol, which isn’t what I would want the audience to be thinking about in this moment.
l) I think for the Vader hallway scene, you kind of have to go with the more classic orchestration… the day of spycraft and nameless sacrifices is almost over, we are now firmly in the era of operatic war heroes and villains and music should reflect that. Good choice cutting the Vader comic book pose though… felt so fasc apologist.
m) A possible controversial/out of scope note, but I think perhaps the best place for B2/Bix/Baby is not at the end of Season 2… Gilroy had to put that there because he is releasing TV series, not a director’s cut of Rogue One. But I think the best place for that scene isn’t in the finale, it’s after Leia’s scene. I think Leia talking about hope, the shot mirroring Cassian’s death… that’s just where it belongs dramatically.