I like the structure of your opening. The sequencing is vastly different in comparison to the original, but it makes a lot of sense.
I actually attempted to make an edit inside your edit. This is the first cut I’ve ever done, so let me know your thoughts. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Y5ZUOb6-XaXDjLtnVwtdiNBEZeFayocU/view?usp=sharing
-Start the music a beat after 3P0 says “he agrees!”. I think that feels closer to the atmosphere of the cantina when everyone abruptly moves on after a conflict is settled. It’s also a little more chaotic with Chewy trying to yell over the music.
-Remove Landos helmet bonk on the ceiling
-Remove how long the shot of Lando pulling down his mask is. It’s way to in your face.
Yo! I really like your recut! Great job! It just goes to show you there are 100s of good ways to skin a cat.
I quite like the way you cut around the Chewie sequence. It’s very effective at getting rid of the helmet bonk, and the music cut is pretty smooth.
For my cut I would stick with what I have on all of those points, for sequence balancing reasons (if you pop up to #1633920 on this thread, I explain how that kind of editing works in detail). The back half of that Jabba sequence, I’m trying to throttle down the pace in order to move into a more contemplative Dagobah scene, so the helmet bonk (while a bit goofy), gives me the meta-pace I’m looking for. As a side note. . . I’m almost convinced George worked in a helmet bonk into all six of his films. . . I don’t know where they all are, but there are so many of them, I’m starting to think it turned into an intentional running gag by the time we get to the Prequels (See the Jango Fett bonk on Kamino).
Last thing: (Brace yourself this is gonna be super pedantic) The reason I personally wouldn’t tighten up the music cue the way you did, is because a Jazz (Jizz?) song of that type starts with a silent count, because the opening notes begin before the first “1”. So instead of “1-2-3-4-Bummmm-budum-budum-bum-bum” (Jedi Rocks from the Special Edition), it’s “1-2-3-(4)budum-(1)BumBum”. If you watch Max Rebo’s hand, he’s doing the silent count so the band can start on “4”. The silent beat that you cut is the beginning of the silent count. Basically, there’s no way a real musician could start that song as quickly as you cut it and have everybody come in on time.
PS Thank you mom for all of those stupid Clarinet lessons in High School. . .