I like the structure of your opening. The sequencing is vastly different in comparison to the original, but it makes a lot of sense.

I actually attempted to make an edit inside your edit. This is the first cut I’ve ever done, so let me know your thoughts. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Y5ZUOb6-XaXDjLtnVwtdiNBEZeFayocU/view?usp=sharing

-Start the music a beat after 3P0 says “he agrees!”. I think that feels closer to the atmosphere of the cantina when everyone abruptly moves on after a conflict is settled. It’s also a little more chaotic with Chewy trying to yell over the music.
-Remove Landos helmet bonk on the ceiling
-Remove how long the shot of Lando pulling down his mask is. It’s way to in your face.