Holding court all by myself -- I continue--
The strategy here is to hone everything down to the adventure of Qui Gonn -- how his piss-ant assignment to help Naboo turned into the biggest discovery of his career and awakened the Council.
Now the beginning needs to feel like Qui Gonn's getting in over his head-- facing an enemy that can handle him. Then, when he meets Anakin, I want to feel his discovery of Anakin's powers. Slowly, the decision comes that he must take this boy to the council, this boy is the chosen one. Having Qui Gonn get it all at once immediately-- and then (ick) testing the boy for midiclorians -- all undermined any sense of awe or discovery. It was too clinical and exposition oriented. Drawing out the discovery and hiding Qui Gonn's interest in taking the boy until after the race that confirms his suspicions about the boy's power makes this all more dramatic and OT.
The idea that Qui Gonn's meeting with the council is less civil than in TPM came up thread. What a boost that gives the second half-- Qui Gonn feels condemned and his discovery tossed aside. He should now come off as feeling doomed, dutifully facing an overwhelming enemy. The council just isn't listening or functioning right-- and he and Anakin may pay the price.
Leaving Obi Wan's warning "they all sense he's dangerous, admit it" without him apologizing makes this all more jagged and interesting too. Obi Wan is a supporting character in Episode I and we don't need to go out of our way to make him apologize about Anakin-- it actually suits SOTD better to have him maintain his suspicions. And it keeps the emotions raw as we head into the final bloody battle.
It especially keeps us keyed in on Qui Gonn and how little understood he is.
I look forward to your comments and hope I can make all the strenghts of these changes clear.
Take care--