So I don’t remember if Ady had said if he was open to the idea of doing this for his edit or definitely not, but in the slightest chance he could be, was hoping I may share ideas for potentially rewording the ROTJ opening crawl?

While the original does work and is okay, I do feel it could use a bit more meat on its bones, imho. I think the original first paragraph is good as is, however those last two paragraphs, especially, could easily use less fluff and be consolidated into one. Then as for giving it more weight, perhaps it’d be good to mention something about the current state of the Rebels as well as their end goal, so (hopefully) there will be more at stake for them this time around of the story and not just another Death Star attack? And lastly, since the Emperor is a key player in all this, I think he’s definitely worthy of mention.

So I put this together and was curious of some thoughts? What works or what doesn’t? Even tiny details like which word(s) to have in all caps or not, etc. Also I’m aware of the funky spacing around one of the words, but that can be easily fixed when done more accurately 😉 (Still, not too bad of a tool that’s easy and free!)

https://gostargazer.com/sample/tsjr8l2rjiesqamc7paq6llwpsog6skf/